big day

2/2/09 12:42
schmerica: (KEYBOARD MASH)
Today is my 7 year fandom/lj anniversary. On Feb. 2, 2002, I posted my first Smallville story to the SSA, and posted my first entry in this journal.

Seven years. That is forever, you guys! I was a little baby underage faking my way to eighteen back then! In those years there's been three major fandoms, three colleges, and too many awesome people to even start to name.

I'm going to take a shower now, and then I'm going to clean a little bit, and then I shall sit down with my new Umbrella Academy comics (I finally got the three latest this weekend) and my computer and the internet and just be happy I have you all.

<3333333


PS, On an unrelated note, does anyone know where I could find a working torrent for the entire season of Middleman? And, actually, where all the screencaps of the show are?
schmerica: (is anybody out there)
Apparently I commented half-asleep in one of my friend's journals last night, and it turned out to be mildly wanky? Or at least make a couple of other people pissy. It is probably wrong for me to admit that I find this hilarious, but I totally do. I'm never the wanky one! I just watch my friends do stupid shit and then bitch about people on AIM, you know?

Unrelatedly, earlier I was thinking about some real life stuff -- by which I mostly mean dudes -- and something occurred to me, and at the same exact time that I was thinking it made complete sense, I could tell that it was totally the sort of thing I would write into a story to show a character being screwed-up and stupid. WHATEVER, BRAIN. STUPID SELF-AWARENESS.

Once again Arrested Development proves it contains all of life's wisdom:

Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.

Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?

Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but.... but it might work for us.
schmerica: (frank needs a hug)
I think lots more people should join [livejournal.com profile] overheardfandom, because the idea entertains me to no end. And by "people" I mostly mean "people in bandom" because, um, you guys are really entertaining! And SGA is boring. Yes.

I am exhausted/miserable/achy/various other adjectives that come along with getting my period. Ugh ugh ugh. I am also craving Coke like a motherfucker, but there is none in my house and I doubt I am going to put on pants and walk all the way to the store for some. SIGH. My life, so hard, etc, etc, you know the drill. I am going to be really emo and cry about it now and you will all feel guilty for living too far away to come and wildly indulge my whims. So there. *moans, whines, blah blah blah*

Although I have to admit things are not all bad, okay. The rumor about Pete Wentz acting in the next Diablo Cody movie, for example, is pretty much pure gold. Made of HILARITY, in fact.

Ugh, moods suck. Maybe I will try and write something tonight.
schmerica: (OH PETE WENTZ)
--And the thing is, if this is my actual new fandom, I am going to be pissed, you guys. Because! What! Look, I have been in fandom not quite six years now, and as many other shows or things I have read/enjoyed/talked about in that time, I have had two Real Fandoms. I had two good years with Smallvile and Due South and me have been OTP for three and a half plus now. And I am HAPPY with that! I have no need for a new fandom! Me + dS = the love that never dies!

(And, you know, leaving SV and getting together with dS was some VERY STRESSFUL times in my life. [livejournal.com profile] liviapenn had to give me a speech about the Circle of (Fandom) Life at Escapade that year, all "sometimes antelopes fandoms have to die so new ones can live!" The guilt, you guys.)

All of which is to basically say: OMG GERARD WAY STOP IT WITH YOUR LITTLE FACE ALREADY OKAY JESUS CHRIST.

...Of course it's also possible I've overreacting for no reason. I do that sometimes. Maybe in a week this obsession will leave me and I'll settle back into my normal ways and just click on your guys' cut-tags and give you thumbs up occasionally. I could deal with that.

(Shit, I really do need more icons. Just laughing Pete and WWII Gerard is not cutting it. HEY, if someone wanted to make me a Gerard/coffee or Mikey/coffee or Ways/coffee OTP icon, you could be my bestest friend, okay?)

secret ps to spes: how do you feel about getting together this next weekend? It could be like your second, totally way more lame birthday party.

IN CONCLUSION: STUPID BOYS IN BANDS, I LOVE THEM.
schmerica: (please repeat that)
Last night I had a dream where [livejournal.com profile] cidercupcakes had written a novel that could basically be boiled down to "Napoleonic Wars meet Mr & Mrs Smith". It was pretty awesome -- competent married Regency spies wooo! -- and now that I have woken up I am kind of bummed it doesn't exist.

In the comments to the last entry I was telling [livejournal.com profile] kristiinthedark about how I was thinking about Ray and Fraser in a blackout. It would be while they're busy doing something, maybe for a case, examining some large and busy room or something. The lights go out, it's pitch black, Ray is twitchy and keeps moving around, bumping into things and cursing, until Fraser tells him to quit and stay in one place. Which Ray is probably bitchy about, but he stays still anyway, and Fraser asks him to keep talking, so he can find him by the sound of his voice (like Marco Polo). So Ray is standing still all alone in the pitch black and forced to just keep talking to himself about stupid things, until Fraser finds him, and that shuts him up because Fraser's right in front of him, so close you can feel the heat of his body and his breath. And then THEY KISS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, in the dark, and it is awesome until the lights suddenly go back on again, and then they pull apart and are awkward and stupid and pretend for days/weeks that it never happened and don't talk about it at all.

Sigh. Booooooys.

In news that will shock absolutely no one, Paul Gross is still distgustingly attractive. Um, ignore the last one, though. Stick to the candids of "my god."

I spent an unhealthy amount of time yesterday looking through Amazon.com and making lists of all the dvds I would need once I was filthy stinking rich and things like food, rents, and debt were not an issue. Heroes! Arrested Development s3! How I Met Your Mother! Grey's s3! Deadwood! Rome! Doctor Who! NCIS! Joan of Arcadia! Newsradio! I want it all. Is that so wrong?

It's too hot for September, and I'm really really excited about my Latin textbook coming in the mail.
schmerica: (happy endings for everybody)
1) My broken computer works again and has been returned to me. Yay.

2) I interviewed for an internship on Wednesday, and found out yesterday I didn't get it.

3) I'm starting both school (part-time) and work (also part-time) within the next two weeks.

4) I just defriended a whole lot of people, from a mixture of reasons including falling behind while computer was broken; expecting my time online to decrease soon; and general fandom interests changing.

5) I just rewatched French Kiss last week and it made me want fanfic. Which led me to the conclusion that I kind of feel that way about any romantic comedy, really, when it has characters I like. "But when happens after they kiss?" You can't just cut away to them kissing in a vineyard. Bleh." With "kissing in a vineyard" replaced as the case warrants, of course.

6) It's Saturday night, so I'm sure half of you are off having a life or something. Everybody else: share with me a piece of fannish joy? Pictures, news, rumors, recs, whatever has MADE YOUR LIFE for this week. Tell me!
schmerica: (kitties!)
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: I think the lack of any real conflict in ds fandom for so long now is affecting my ability to deal with conflict in other fandoms, and searching out bitchy hate.
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: *giggles*
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: no, seriously, i think i was starting to forget that feeling, how overinvested you get.
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: *feels random anger that isn't actually directed at anyone but feels righteous anyway!*
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: awww. *pets*
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: (john/rodney GRAR!)

Hahahaha, I know how totally irrational it is and I kind of hate myself for it, but it's kind of nice to have a pairing to focus your hate on that strongly, you know? It makes things so much simpler.

I'm trying to think of something to start wank about in due South (and when I say wank, I am not implying that recent meta discussions in other fandoms have been wank, I'm just looking for the most entertainment value). It's hard, dude. We're all so polite it's kind of disgusting. I mean, I might look at people funny when they admit they honestly don't like Vecchio at all or when they refuse to read any het whatsoever, and they might think I'm crazy when I post Vecchiocest or wrinkle my nose at Ray/Ray, but we all tend to be nice about it.

(If anyone mentions the Ray/Ray wars at this point, I am going to go insane, I swear to god, because YES, at one time Due South was a wanky fandom, YES we all know our sordid history and NO it has almost nothing to do with how the fandom works or has worked for at least the past three and half years I've been here.)
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schmerica: (OH PETE WENTZ)
I'm not actually in bandom or anything, so I don't have any real or relevant comments about the controversy going on right now, but reading [livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee's latest entry has reminded me of the same issues I had when the issue was going around fandom a few years ago about straight girl fans using stuff like *licks* and *cuddles* and *kisses* in chat, and how that was maybe trying to be fake-lesbians-for-attention, and was maybe insulting to the real queer women involved in fandom. And yeah, appropriation of a minority culture is ALWAYS a serious issue, and I know that in this case I'm a member of the majority. So I guess I'm just left with the question of how to categorize homosocial interactions from people who don't explicitly identify as queer. Like, how do you prevent the offensive "fake-gay" taking of the culture without unduly restricting sincere affection and play and love and exploration?

I suppose this is probably complicated by the fact that a lot of slash fandom (both m/m and f/f) works by reinterpreting events that could be those nonsexual, homosocial bonds to show a sexual bond between the people. (Which is to say, if my life was a movie, I would totally be slashing me/[livejournal.com profile] fox1013 to the moon and back.)

Anyway. IN OTHER NEWS, here are some more people Roy Harper should have sex with IMMEDIATELY:

1) Benton Fraser
2) Martha Jones
3) The Doctor
4) Captain Jack Harkness
5) Izzie Stevens
6) Ziva David
7) Either Winchester brother

Please feel free to contribute more suggestions in the comments.
schmerica: (ds: thatcher owns you)
Saturdays are so BORING, oh my GOD. People! Please! Come entertain me, I beg of you! Bleeeeeeeeeh.

Um, yes.

A couple things:

A.

[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: man, plotty fic is so boring.
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: *giggles*
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: statements like that are why I heart you.
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: *skims boring bits for yummy f/k bits*
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: *beams at you*
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: it's truuuuuuue. plot = the BORING PARTS OF THE STORY. i don't get why people are always like "hey, stories these days have too much good parts and not enough boringness."
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: *hee hee*

B.

Have now gotten through 2.13 in The Office. I realize it doesn't work after Booze Cruise, but I kind of liked it when you could pretend that the film crew were all total Jim/Pam shippers, and that Jim and Pam really were somehow just friends and it was all being totally created by the magic of editing. Because that would be awesome.

C.

I love my boys so much it hurts sometimes.

D.

I am in the sort of mood that often leads to me writing death, break-up, and/or cheating fic. Rescue me with the power of porn! You don't want me to crush Ray and Fraser's hearts, do you? [[livejournal.com profile] aerye and [livejournal.com profile] katallison, you are exempted from this question.]

E.

Yesterday I realized there was a bunch of chocolate hidden in the back of the cupboard. As soon as my roommate's feminist research group leaves this evening, it is BROWNIE TIME.
schmerica: (farscape: chiana and aeryn sunglasses)
Dear fandom, sometimes people are a) immature b) bitchy or c) wanky. Surprisingly enough, there is no direct correlation between this and being under 18. Seriously, you deal with underage people ALL THE FREAKING TIME, and you don't know it, because we don't choose to tell you. Most people CAN'T TELL, and that's FINE. If you do have the emotional maturity to deal with fandom reasonably, and you don't broadcast your age and make it into a issue for list owners and such, nobody SHOULD care.

(Less life experience CAN mean more wankiness, but you know what? That's usually if you are a person prone to it anyway. Other people just keep getting worse and worse about the longer they go on. Seriously, there's a certain type of kerfuffle-raising that's a skill; you get better at it with time.)

I have to admit, too, that when I entered fandom as a teenager (after I started college, but before I was legal for anything), one of the things I absolutely loved about it was its age-blindness. On the internet, what matters is how you present yourself and how you act that matters, not your age. At 17, it is kind of amazing to be able to strike up discussions and friendships with people anywhere from your own age to three decades older than you and have none of them automatically, without even thinking, treating you like a silly kid.

Signed with love and frustration,
Pearl-"I Was a Baby Fangirl and I Lived to Tell About It!"-o
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schmerica: (ds: geek)
Thinking about fannish goals for 2007 )

I am feeling weird and twitchy and restless. I don't know what to do with myself! Hmm. If anybody wants to ask me questions (either in batches of five or just, you know, however many), consider this your invitation.
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schmerica: (pretty: ellen page)
Doing more reading this evening, and I mentioned to Zee about ANOTHER one of the perks of choosing this for my fun reading fandom is the easy access to all the sweet underage stuff! And this came up:

[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: also, you know, re: underage -- i think it says something quiting touching of how pure my ds love is that i've been this passionate and devoted to it for this long despite it's almost complete lack of my biggest button.
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: ....wow, it does.
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: also, it's kind of hilarious that at this point, mostly people probably know me FROM ds fandom, and know nothing about my penchant for sullen teenage boys.
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: yes! it is hilarious!
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: *eyes you* are you making fun of me?
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: ...no?
[livejournal.com profile] pearl_o: hee, okay!
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: um. actually not.
[livejournal.com profile] ficbyzee: sarcasm and honesty sound similar on the internet!

Seriously, it is funny! Because, uh, I'm not really all that subtle about it, but it just hasn't come up that often in the fannish contexts I've been in lately. Heh.

(Back in the day for me being, like, 2003. I realize for lots of you back in the day means, like, 1997. Or, I don't know, back when there were zines and dinosaurs roamed the earth.)
schmerica: (ds: oh god i love these boys)
(This entry is mostly about boyslash, and not so much femslash or het, which I've read less and not noticed the issues as much.)

A conversation over in [livejournal.com profile] kalpurna's journal about power dynamics and ass-fucking here -- while pretty interesting on its own! -- has sent my thoughts on a vaguely related tangent. Read more... )
schmerica: (deadwood: al hates all you bitches)
Hi, you guys, this is the first time I have been on the internet since my computer burst on Friday. (It did not literally burst. It is just that I have had the laptop for a year and a half, and it is the very cheapest model of dell, and after having problems for months, it seems to have given up the ghost.)

Of course, this is not very convenient at all! Basically, I am mostly pissed that this happened AFTER I had already bought my plane ticket and registered for Muskrat Jamboree, because as much as I love you guys and am way looking forward to seeing you all, a new computer would be a way more useful and important use of that 300 dollars.

The other inconvience is that it happened the way that I have a big project worth a third of my grade due in one class, and all a career fair, and various other school related things where I could really use all the information and files I have saved away there. Sigh!

The library has a thing where you can check out laptops for either four hours or overnight, but you can only do it once a week, so I am saving that for the night I have to work really hard on my project that is due.

...That was all really boring, sorry! I am boring. And also bored; it is amazing how many of my activities require a computer to entertain me these days. [livejournal.com profile] fox1013 and [livejournal.com profile] hobbledehoy both entertained me on the PHONE (gasp!) on Saturday, and Sunday I didn't even let poor [livejournal.com profile] speshope have a moment to rest from her drive back to Eugene before she had to drive me around and play games and watch movies with me for five hours. I am getting a lot of reading done! But it's hard to appreciate when I know there is homework I could be doing.

ALSO ALSO ALSO. Saturday -- as I had Fox reported in a semi-garbled fashion -- was my FIFTH ANNIVERSARY in both fandom and livejournal! This is hard for me to believe, because, uh, five years is a really freaking significant portion of my life, you guys. I don't know how that happened! Five years! Seriously, what the fuck!

...Which is to say, I love you all and am glad I found such a strange and rewarding hobby to guide me through life.

Since I am in a public computer lab, I am not going to be able to catch up on my flist at all until my computer situation firms up somewhat. But I should be able to check my email on a regular basis, so you should email me because I am so sad and lonely!!! Reach out to me! *sniffle*
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schmerica: (farscape: shipping kiss)
I am having an WHEEEEEEEE OTPs!!!! day. This is always fun! I approve!

*thumbs up*

Obviously, the first otp to come to mind for me is always Fraser and RayK. Because, frankly, I have spent three years of my life now doing very little else but thinking about their true true true love. It has got me this far! I'm not just going to stop now!

Fraser, as you know, is possibly my Favorite Character Ever OMG. And Ray Kowalski! Oh, Ray Kowalski. You're jumpy and testy and asshole-y and sweet and lonely and the opposite of subtle and you are full of hidden depths. When we meet you, you are so in love with your ex-wife it is painful. By Call of the Wild, you are so in love with Fraser that it is still painful, but in a much, much, much happier way, because Fraser loves you back. You are one of his Rays, and he hurts when you hurt, and he pats you on your back and wishes he could make things better for you, so much so that he goes for Bob for advice, which, seriously.

(Will any fandom ever present me with anything that gives me more pure happiness and joy forever than RayK's line to Thatcher about knowing who you are? It's possible -- me and fandom have years in front of us -- but I can literally not imagine it.)

You are my BOYS, my prickly damaged beautiful goofy boys, and I smush you together FOREVER.

F/K is not, however, the only OTP that has been on my mind lately, because I don't know if I've mentioned it in a while? But I really love Farscape. And for all that it's not a primary fandom of mine, I honestly cannot think of any relationship pretty much ever that I am more invested in than John and Aeryn. I am irrational on the subject; I am *this* close to saying MEANT TO BE in all seriousness, but luckily I'm not quite there. There is basically nothing I do not love about them, and they leave me wordless. Just -- John and Aeryn! SMOOCHES. SO MANY SMOOCHES. OTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

The thing is, though, that OTP doesn't quite feel like the right word, despite everything I just said, because, well... okay, the thing is, I am a generally monogamous person in pretty much both the literal and metaphorical sense of the word? But with Farscape, how can you not be poly? There is canon text or subtext for pretty much any two non-puppet characters on the show (and sometimes human-puppet pairs, as well). My utter JOHN/AERYN SQUEEEE does not detract at all from the fact that every other pairing in the world is totally there. Even in a fandom like due South, where I do write and enjoy odd pairings at time, I've never been this free of jealousy about it.

In conclusion, Farscape is an orgy. I blame Chiana.

One of the interests I have listed in my profile is "historical aus." When one is scrolling very quickly down the page, it is possible for this to look, for a brief second, like "historical anus."

Finally: See the icon [livejournal.com profile] phineasjones modified for me? I've made it my default for this month; really, it fills me with a strangely intense glee.
schmerica: (farscape: chiana and aeryn sunglasses)
Fandoms I have known! Written in the style of the anonymous meme, yis. Guess and feel brilliant. (Most of these I have written in, but not all.)

1. You've always been an awesome friend, but we both know we were never going to be serious. Still, we fooled around a few times when I was single, and it was a lot of fun.

2. You're completely fucking insane in the best way, and you're kind of an asshole in the worst way, and all my friends seemed to warn me against you and try to introduce me to you at the same time. We'll never be really close, but hanging out with you is never less than a hell of a lot of fun.

3. I've been in love with you for a while now, so I don't really know why we've never gone all the way. Hanging out with you is the highlight of my week, and even when you're being annoying, you still amaze me. Plus, being around you has influenced my speech patterns to a ridiculous degree; it's like I'm talking in our in-jokes all the time.

4. I was really young and innocent when we met, and you taught me so much, and you introduced to me to all your friends, and even though I kind of cringe when I look back at our relationship, I can't ever regret it.

5. All my friends couldn't stop talking about how cool you were, so we started hanging out, and for a while it was aweomse -- you were cool, funny and snarky and goofy in the all the right ways. But after a while I couldn't get over how shallow and dumb you acted a lot of the time, and some of your quirks started to rub me the totally wrong way, so I had to move on.

6. I'm pretty sure you are the love of my life. We've been together for what feels like forever, and yet it still feels brand new, like we're in the flush of our honeymoon. I find new fascinating things about you all the time. I'm continually amazed by just how happy you make me.

7. To use a horrible cliche, you march to the beat of different drum. When we go out, people can't stop staring at you; you're just so ... weird, and so yourself. You're one of my favorite people ever, though, and I always have an amazing time with you.

8. You're so quiet and sweet and dry. I just want to hug you to my bosom all the time and tell you everything's going to be okay. Also, give you a pony.

9. You are completely fucking insane and also BRILLIANT. I totally have the hots for you, but we've never gotten close. You're my crush object; I squee over you and dissect every word you say to me with my friends and blush everything you talk to me.

10. There are a million different things about you that normally make me hate a person, and the fact my family introduced me to you wasn't in your favor either. But there's something about your quirkiness and your sly smile that makes you different, and I dig you.
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schmerica: (alias: bristow love)
Theory That Struck Me Today:

Caroline Morrison on "ReGenesis" is what Weir on SGA would be like if Weir was totally awesome.

Another Thing About Heroes::

Man, I know all the troublesome stuff about, you know, being totally evil and stuff, but nonetheless, I am in love with the relationship between Claire and her daddy. Because, seriously, I have a button a million miles wide. [livejournal.com profile] fox1013 and I were talking earlier about daddy issues; while much of fandom seems to have the "I've been a bad, bad little kid. Spank me!", we both have more of the "DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL WAAAAAAAAAH" thing going on.

There are lots of relationships that hit this button for me, but the classic is Jack and Sydney Bristow from Alias, which is my one true gen relationship FOREVER. Lilith and David on ReGenesis actually made me cry last night, in episode 1x08. Buffy and Giles, on the times when I'm not sexualizing them at all, can fulfill the same thing for me, despite the non-related-ness. Oh, and BSG: Kara and Adama are my favorite relationship on the show, even when I'm conflicted about everything else.

(Actually, a lot of the things that make me cry fit here. S2 Buffy and Giles, yep. Jack and Sydney, yep. My first year away at college, I came home and watched the freaking Land Before Time with my family and cried when Sarah the three-horn was reunited with her daddy. I don't even know!)

(And in comics! Babs and Jim Gordon! Roy and Lian! *sniffle*)
schmerica: (comics: gert and old lace)
HI LET'S PLAY A GAME. What I want: tell me about a few of your stories! Only I want to hear about your stories that sound really stupid or bad or painful when you actually write out the description. Does it sound like badfic? Mediocre? Weird? Tell me!

For example, in my category of "hey, I wrote that once!":

a) RayK and Fraser have grown old together! They've been together for like 30 years! There are puppies and canes and cookies! It's kidfic! Also, it's CHRISTMAS. And you guys think I'm not a total sap. (Here.)

b) See, there's breathplay? And then pancakes for breakfast, yay! (Here.)

c) Stories of cannibalism lead to SMOOCHES. (Here.)

d) SHUT UP FRANNIE/RAY VECCHIO INCEST MAKES PERFECT SENSE. (Here.)

What do you got? Seriously, I find stories in this category often fit into my favorite reading experiences by people. It all works in the end, no really!
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schmerica: (ds: fraser mirror)
Fraser Plus His Rays = HEART. The Mountie and his boyfriends -- seriously, what is better than that? I propose: NOTHING. Not a single thing.

Therefore, [livejournal.com profile] aerye wins for post of the day.

For some reason I want more kidfic. I KNOW, what the hell, right? I think I just like seeing Fraser not even as a father, but as a beloved honorary-uncle/family-friend type? Imagine him with Ray Vecchio or Ray Kowalski's kids, and tell me you don't see it.

Tomorrow I am going back to Eugene. My lease lasts until the 31st, but my family is coming on Sunday to move me out of the apartment, because they were all week and wouldn't be able to come later. I am still answering a bazillion ads, but I don't have housing pinned down yet, so my stuff will be going in the garage here until I move into a new place.

My sister and I have been watching a bunch of SG-1 as well -- Upgrades, The Fifth Race, 2010, Fire and Water, more that I am forgetting. I am never going to be fannish about it, but it's awfully fun, and much less boring than anticipated. I like Sam the best, I think.

Fraser Fraser Fraser porn porn porn. Two great tastes that taste great together!!! Yes.

I mentioned this a couple weeks ago, but I am still desperately craving reading lots of snow kisses. Outside, with the snow falling on their hats or their hair, their faces maybe getting red with cold -- Mmmmm. That never gets old.
schmerica: (sga: teyla is saner than you)
Last night I watched SG-1's "Tin Man", and the more time goes by, the more thinking about it is kind of freaking me out.

Here's the thing: probably the easiest way to freak me out completely in fiction is to start dealing with epistomelogical issues of reality and the self. Who am I? What is real? How do I know I am who I think I am? How do I know the world is what I think it is? How far can I trust my own perceptions of reality?

Which, of course, knowing that presses all my weird buttons, I immediately go and seek it out in fiction. Sane people trapped in Victorian mental asylums, checked. Fictional characters who are self-aware of their fictional state and seek to outwit their author, check. Waking up in asylums and told your experience of your life is a hallucination, check. Having yourself be doubled so there are two original and equal versions of you existing in the same time, check. Realizing you are an inferior cloned copy of the person you thought you were, check. Realizing your friends or family were created recently and your mind was tampered with false memories of their always having existed, check.

Seriously, it freaks me out even more than needles in the eye, and that's saying a lot.

(I have determined that the reason I liked "The Real World" on Friday more than everybody else is probably just because of my terrible fondness for Torri Higginson, though.)

I am waiting for my parents to come and pick me up to take me home. My sister is coming home from her summer on the East Coast with our grandparents tonight, too -- I haven't seen her in months! She sent me an email on Friday squeeing quite loudly and incoherently over the awesomeness of SG-1 "200". Basically she is the cutest baby fangirl ever, and I can't wait to see her again.
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