I mean, when Estrella threatens to poke Fraser's eye out with a stick, she's doing it because she can't make him fuck, not because she thinks he actually deserves that for his canon behavior.
This I find amusing beyond words. She pokes his eye out because she loves him!

But yes, I completely get what you're saying. I've been in the same situation of having a fandom where half of the pairing is shot down at every opportunity and a lot of it transfers to the fans- I know people that have been flamed, not because of the quality of their fics but because, 'Eww! How could you put this character with that character! You're sick!' It makes you wonder why on earth those people are hanging around a ship fandom they hate in the first place. The Ray Wars scared me off dS for a few years and I am thoroughly enjoying basking in the warm fuzzy glow of the fandom today- if someone likes a certain odd pairing then we don't get upset about it, we just mock them until they cry. *g*