post script script?

[schmerica]

I keep reading more of nostalgia_lj's anonymous comments post, and I keep getting more and more MOST FAVORITES. There are really an amazing amount of stupid, funny, or bizarre people and opinions out there.

Still, though, I think this one holds a special place in my heart. Honestly, how did I go so long without knowing what is apparently basic syntax?

Apparently I now need to go through all my stories and try and figure out who is the dominant and/or topping character in each one. I'm uncertain if it's mostly or entirely a matter of the ass sex, or force of personality.

Also, I'm a little unclear about whether the dominant/submissive part or the male/female part is the overreaching one in the poster's vision. What if it's het with the girl topping, I mused to fox1013 and dsudis?

Fox said, "OMG GIRLS DON'T TOP WTF!!!1"

Dira said, "Duh THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. GENDER ROLES, PEOPLE."

I said, "...Oh." And then I hid my wife-fucking-her-husband-up-the-ass fic in the corner and whistled innocently.

On an unrelated note, this Series of Unfortunate Events incest ficlet was so good it made me making little squeeble noises.

Comments

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

Dude! How have I never read your wife-fucking-her-husband-up-the-ass fic before? Guh. Awesome. I love.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Well, it was, like, the second due South story I ever wrote, so you might not have been around then.

But yay! I am very glad you like.

[medie]

The whole thing has me cracking up like mad. Apparently I'm hated cause I'm nice. Or nicer than I am talented (buh?) or something...and the ye old lopping off (or adding) of naughty bits got dragged up and then the rest of it..

It's all with the brain melty logic. The Slash ones and the fandom ones have me rolling. I mean, they couldn't be anymore obvious if they put 'ship signs over their heads. Doesn't matter *which* fandom. So cute really *pets them all*

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that whole "Syntax!" one really is the dumbest thing I've ever read. I hope to god I've never actually written a story where the individual characters are so flat, and their interactions so cliche, that you could instantly classify the story as having a clearly "dominant" character and a clearly "submissive" character. Even my "Big strong, crazy, twenty-something Wolverine takes high-school woobie Peter Parker and holds him down and makes him like it" kink porn is (I *hope*) more complicated than THAT.

I think most writers would be insulted to think their stories could be so easily classified (and I'm actually kinda horrified to think that someone actually believes that the girl should always come second, uh... just because. Dude. We're not actually *in* the middle ages..?

Not to mention that even if everyone suddenly decided to do it that way, it would just be IMPOSSIBLE to implement, because fanfiction just isn't that simple, even in the world of PWPs. What if there's no penetrative sex in the story? Or if they do it twice and take turns on top? Oooh, what if it's non-con, but the person who is coerced into sex is forced to accept a blowjob! Then he's the penetrator and the 'dominant' character is the penetratee, so whose name comes first? And what if the story is a *threesome* where Zoe pegs Mal and Wash, and then Mal fucks Wash, but really, Wash is totally psychologically dominating them both, and then he fucks Zoe! OMG THEN WHAT.

-- Livia
(cannot sign in)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

ANARCHY AND CHAOS AND EXPLODING BRAIN BITS EVERYWHERE, LIVIA! EVERYWHERE!

*cough*

Also, that threesome makes my brain hurt.

[some-stars.livejournal.com]

Your brain pleases me. Except for the mal/wash sexing it part. That part hurts.

but I totally have to go reread your peter/logan now. heh.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

You're going to write me that Firefly threesome for my birthday, right?

::bats eyelashes::

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

Well, I can see how it could all happen (sex pollen!) but I can't quite picture Wash psychologically dominating Mal and Zoe. I mean, apart from a "Let's let Wash think he's in charge, it's cute" sort of way.

Wash: "Curse your sudden but inevitable topping from the bottom!"

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Hee! I think that would work brilliantly. (:

[copracat]

::Yearns - I say, yearns for a 'my fandom has mutant, disfigured babies' icon::

River/Simon? Leia/Luke? (because we all know who would top in that relationship) LetoII/Ghanima? Hold on! My fandom does have mutant, disfigured babies!! *G*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[harriet-spy.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing that poster comes out of yaoi. It's my understanding that they're much more insanely conventional about these things, because if there was a story where people didn't stay strictly to the seme and uke positions DOGS AND CATS WOULD BE LIVING TOGETHER.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

But would it be Dog/Cat or Cat/Dog?

[(Anonymous)]

Obviously it would depend on who topped. OBVIOUSLY.

-- Livia

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I thought maybe all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

[(Anonymous)]

It could still be cat-with-a-strap-on/dog fic.

On another note, "Cat With A Strap On Dog" would be an awesome band name.

-- Livia

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

...I am now trying to picture how strap-ons would work in a world without opposable thumbs. I blame you.