thoughtful writerly rambling

[schmerica]

I think, possibly, the thing I find most interesting, most engaging, as a writer is that sense of the sweetness of imperfection. I like it when things are flawed, and when things are hopeful, and I like it best when they are both of those things at the same time.

Sometimes that theme is a conscious one -- the Wilby Wonderful story yesterday; god knows the kidfic, too. Sometimes it's not conscious on my part, and it's only when I go back and look over my stories that I see it, shining out in the way I love Ray's assholeness, Fraser's prissiness and difficulty, the way they bicker and misunderstand and move around each other.

It's part of what explains one of the differences I've always had with estrella30 and brooklinegirl, I think. They tell me sometimes about how they're afraid to look too closely at Fraser/Kowalski as a ship, because look at it too long and you see how the ways they don't fit, and the whole thing falls apart. I never understood that, quite. Because when I look close and see all the ways they don't fit, all the prickly edges that aren't worn down, all the things that shouldn't work -- that's when I see the happy ending.

Comments

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

They tell me sometimes about how they're afraid to look too closely at Fraser/Kowalski as a ship, because look at it too long and you see how the ways they don't fit, and the whole thing falls apart. I never understood that, quite. Because when I look close and see all the ways they don't fit, all the prickly edges that aren't worn down, all the things that shouldn't work -- that's when I see the happy ending.

Okay, I heart you. Because that is the exact summation of how I feel as well. I never really got that either, the "look too close and they'll fall apart" thing (maybe because deep down inside, I'm an optimist and a romantic, but nonetheless).

I've always thought that Fraser/Kowalski worked because of their differences and that they've complemented each other in the ways that matter. And I've always thought that they could possibly work out in the end because yes, they drive each other crazy, and yes, they're stubborn and snarky and have edges that don't mesh, but to say that they'd never work is essentially saying that they'll never change, which I think they can. It wouldn't be easy and it would take years, but in the end, I can see them being happily imperfect together.

Or maybe I'm just a sap. [grin]

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

I, um, think I agree with both sides. Sort of. In a way.

I love the happy endings, I really do, but I also love the bitter reality of stories like Kat's The End of the Road. I will happily go either way, because yes, I see the absolute connectedness between them, but I also agree with the Origami Pterodactyl theory; it's a lot of work, and it's very fragile, and you have to be careful of it or it'll fall apart. But it's so fucking satisfying when you get it right.

(It's possible also that I'm a slut for a well-written story. I wouldn't rule that out at all.)

[gloss]

when things are flawed, and when things are hopeful, and I like it best when they are both of those things at the same time
Oh, that's lovely. Absolutely lovely and it expresses so very well what I've been longing for - both to read and to write.

[norah.livejournal.com]

Exactly. It's something you and Hth both do so very well, that sense that the very reality of it - who left the butter dish in the fridge - is what makes it real and good.

[copracat]

Sometimes, when I'm sending you feedback, I have trouble putting into words how much I appreciate the combination of melancholy sweetness and reality you write, that happy imperfection, that human condition. Now you've done it. You've written the feedback I've always wanted to send you.

Bugger.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I've always thought that Fraser/Kowalski worked because of their differences and that they've complemented each other in the ways that matter.

*nod* And that's part of it, yeah, but it also is the other thing, the things that really don't work, don't complement each other -- but they're muddling through anyway, it's still worth it anyway. That's all part of it for me.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

but I also agree with the Origami Pterodactyl theory; it's a lot of work, and it's very fragile, and you have to be careful of it or it'll fall apart.

See, I understand this idea, like, intellectually, but ... it's never pinged for me. Not at all. It just bears no resemblance to the way I think of things, I guess.

I absolutely adore End of the Road, though. I think it's absolutely amazing, for that same reason -- the reality of it. It's just that, in general, just because I find that tangible and real and "yes, just like that" -- it doesn't mean I don't find the happy stories just as real, you know? It's not me going "la la la" and being in denial.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

It's -- really, I think it's something that's been in my head for a long time, and I'm glad it's arrived in a form like this for me to think about today, because yes. That's what I want from my fanfiction; that's what I want from my characters, in an ideal world.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*grins* That's amazingly sweet -- and obviously, considering how much I'm thinking about this, I take that as a really great compliment. Thank you.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wasn't arguing that the happy-ending stories aren't real too -- I read them over and over (and sometimes confuse them for canon in my head). I'm a big fan of "Love Conquers All" ... or maybe "Love Fights All To A Draw And Then Negotiates A Re-match" is a better way of putting it. Because what I don't like, most of the time, is the stories that imply that now that Our Boys have found each other, it's all cherry blossoms and ice cream from here on out.

Which is I think what you were trying to say up yonder, so, word.

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

There's an idea in Japanese culture called wabi-sabi: the celebration of the beautifully imperfect, the contentment with what is, instead of what should be. I've found it a much more comforting aesthetic then the Western ideals of perfection, more congruent with my own philosophies of life on earth. Sounds like your Fraser and Ray inhabit somewhat of the same orbit, which, yay.

Don't give me credit for finding out about wabi-sabi on my own; fandom brought the idea to me in the form of an HP storylet by some talented writer who used the concept to (HiveMind!) illuminate one of the good moments in her characters' lives. I've loved the idea ever since. And see? Fandom is GOOD. It teaches and instructs... then gives good pr0n!