prison for jerks

So here is my question - do people who haven't actually sat down and watched through the entire original series of Star Trek: the Original Series have any idea how randomly fucking kinky it is? I ask because I have found myself really excited explaining the set-up to "Patterns of Force" to a couple people earlier this week, and ... well.

Seriously, ST:TOS is split really unevenly into, like 1/3 Srs Bsns and 2/3 crack, and a significant proportion of that crack is honestly kinky shit. Seriously. These are the people who brought you pon farr.

Other highlights from the series:

+ The one where Kirk and Spock both dress up like Nazis, and then get sexily half-naked whipped and climb on each other, and then dress up like Nazis some more (the aforementioned "Patterns of Force")
+ The one where a dying race kidnaps Kirk to be their sex slave concubine to give them sperm and make babies
+ The ones where the godlike aliens have control over their bodies and/or minds and make them kiss and/or perform for their amusement
+ The one where they are kidnapped to be gladiators (no, really, gladiators. With the leather strappy costumes and all)
+ Another one where they have to be gladiators and fight to the death, except this time it's in ancient Rome, and also Kirk goes to bed with a sex slave
+ The one where Spock gets dosed with crazy plant pollen that makes him open to emotional and fall in love
+ The one where Spock goes back in time to like caveman days and it somehow makes him, like, become all barbaric and stuff like ancient Vulcans and falls in love
+ The one where one of Kirk's ex-girlfriends is really bitter about sexism in the Federation that makes her unable to be a captain and so exchanges bodies with KIrk
+ The one where Kirk and Spock pretend to+ be Romulans and Spock has to sexily seduce the Romulan commander
+ The one where the whole crew gets dosed with a crazy drug that "lowers emotional inhibitions"
+ The one that starts out with all the dudes going out and cozying up to sexy belly dancers

There is a lot of androids and robots, too. People having sex with them or falling in love with them, people getting replaced or duplicated by them, shapeshifters, etc, etc.

I am totally missing lots of great stuff here, but I really think this gives you a good overview. Anybody else want to pitch in?

Here are my top three OTP moments of all time:

1. Kirk/Spock, Star Trek: The Search for Spock. "Jim. Your name... is Jim." (Honorable mention: the very end of "Requiem for Methuselah.")

2. Fraser/Kowalski, due South, "Call of the Wild". "We still partners?" "If you'll have me." (Honorable mention: Same episode, RayK in the car with Thatcher at the stake-out.)

3. John Crichton/Aeryn Sun, Farscape, "Icarus Abides". "I'm very angry." (With a honorable mention going to "A Prefect Murder". "I'm not sure I have the strength to miss again." "I think I'm just a bad shot.")

You guys should do the same thing in your journals, too, because I would really like to see other people's answers! It's interesting when you sit down to do this, because there are pairings I consider OTPs where I do not have the same sort of specific moment crystallized - Bones/Booth, for example, or Angel/Danny from Hot Fuzz, are both pairings where I OTP them so hard it's sickening and flail over how much they love each other omg, but don't have the same sort of definite moment for, just that more general squee.

I have now watched every single episode of Star Trek: the Original Series. That's all there is! There isn't any more!

I saved Spock's Brain for last, because I had heard from so many different sources that it was the worst episode of the entire series, but really? I don't think that was justified. I mean, it's not a good episode, but I certainly enjoyed it more than some of the others. If nothing else, I enjoyed it more than I did "The Way to Eden" (aka, the space hippies). Or "Assignment Earth" for that matter, although that one just pissed me off because it was so obviously a backdoor pilot that it wasn't really a Star Trek story at all; the crew could have been written out without really affecting anything.

"The Empath" produced these screencaps: ( cut for images )

What I liked about Court-Martial was yet another one of Kirk's "old friends" whom he seems to run into on a regular basis all over the galaxy. Bones, upon meeting her: "All of my old friends look like doctors. All of his old friends look like you." ♥ Although that chick seriously needed a legal ethics class, y/n? (The other thing I liked about that episode was eating up the Kirk backstory, just like I did with Obsession. KIRK ILU.)

The Wolf in the Fold was kind of lame but not offensively so. The teaser at the beginning is possibly right up there with Janice Reed's rape interrogation with the most ridiculously 60s sexist Star Trek gets, I think. But the part where ( spoiler )

is comic GENIUS.

One of these days I need to sit down and read all of the Kirk/Spock in the universe, but I can't face the weeding-through process to get to the stuff that will fulfill my OTP needs. Especially since I don't know how to explain what I want for them except through flaily hand gestures, and they don't translate well through the internet.

In non-trek news, I need more Ray Toro porn. SIGH.

Here is the best thing about the episode "What Little Girls Are Made Of":

( This is a cut )

Here is a list of some TOS episodes I have watched in the last few days!

+Whom Gods Destroy
+The Mark of Gideon
+That Which Survives
+Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
+The Lights of Zetar
+Requiem for Methuselah

Now, you guys have been around long enough to know my super appreciative enthusiasm for Star Trek, I'm sure, so I know you will take in the same indulgent manner I intended it when I tell you that I've been grouping these episodes together in my head as "the dull ones." Like. Seriously. I liked it when Kirk and fake!Kirk fought in Whom Gods Destroy? Let That Be Your Last Battlefield was even preachier than usual? That's like six hours of TV and those are the deepest thoughts I have to share, seriously. There's no there there.

There is one very striking exception to this rule, though, and that is the last three minutes or so of Requiem for Methuselah. ( No, really )

In other news it has been gray and rainy all afternoon and I feel it is absolutely glorious. I missed you, perfect snuggly autumn weather. I currently have two loaves of pumpkin apple bread cooking in the oven to welcome fall in. It smells cinnamony all through the apartment.

Tonight I am going to drink a lot of vodka and watch a lot of Greek, in honor to my comrade loveyouallwrong who could not join me tonight. Tomorrow fox1013 and I were thinking about going to the Medieval Festival, which -- on the one hand part of me just wants to stay home and do laundry and work on homework, but on the other hand, it's a motherfucking medieval festival. So I don't know! Anybody else planning on going?

Search for Spock > The Voyage Home.

I don't want to go to sleep yet, so, uh. YOU GET A PICSPAM INSTEAD. This is basically me dumping out my TOS folder on you without a theme besides "makes me happy!" Shots from both series and movies, though I don't think anything actually spoilery.

( I AM SO ARTICULATE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW )

You know, you spend so much time laughing at and with Shatner that it's always a little weird when you look at him and suddenly realize that Jesus Christ, he was a legitimate hottie. There are a couple of times when Kirk actually makes me catch my breath. I don't know exactly why that happens so suddenly when I'll go for ages watching him without the same realization, but it does.

( Seriously, you guys )

Quick book recommendation: So, hey, those of you who have a kink for historical fiction with love stories featuring girl-dressed-up-as-a-boy-for-reasons-of-plot falling in love with dude-who-doesn't-know-she's-really-a-girl? (And don't lie, I know there are a ton of you.) Blindspot is a little slow for the first hundred pages or so, but once it gets going, it delivers on that plotline but good. You'll dig it.

I think it's time for me to start watching more Star Trek again, after taking a couple weeks off. I did "Operation: Annihilate!" yesterday and was well-pleased. I love me some Kirk angst, yessirree. I think I'm finally ready to watch Voyage Home, too, so woohoo!

(Thinking about Search for Spock some more, it turns out the "Jim. Your name is Jim" is an OTP moment for me right up there with large sections of Call of the Wild in Due South. MY HEART, YOU GUYS. MY HEART.)

Yesterday I had excellent cooking adventures! Spaghetti with oil and garlic and chickpeas for lunch, lamburgers stuffed with feta for dinner, and in the evening blackberry-raspberry ice cream. Nothing exciting today, but I might make more pickled garlicky red peppers tomorrow before work.

OUT OF CONTEXT THEATRE:
Kirk: When do you estimate penetration?
Spock: Slowing now. Contact in 18.3 seconds. Brace yourselves: the area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive.




Heh. Heh heh heh heh. Penetration.