prison for jerks

1) Why doesn't every fandom have a Cutting Edge AU? Seriously. Every fandom.

1a) Are there any Bones stories that are hockey-centric? I have a craving for some reason.

2) The other day fox1013 and I were chatting while she was perusing the Avatar kinkmeme, and while discussing the scary porn she was finding, I brought up the prospect of Appa porn, and I was shocked when she told me she hadn't seen one request like that. I've been in bandom over two years, guys; I expect every fandom to be chockful of furries! If it were bandom, I could find a dozen Sokka/Momo OTP stories without batting an eyelash.

3) Apparently I never got around posting any of the stories I wrote for last year's bingo card to the Kink Bingo community? Oops. That means I'm not allowed to get a new card, sadly enough. Still, everybody posting about it has reminded that the old card exists. I only finished 4 stories last year, so there's still a lot of kink potential there. I wonder what Starfleet fucking machines are like.

4) Uhhhh, I dunno. Here's a couple pictures of Jeffrey Dean Morgan being a fucking hot-ass. ( SIR. Report to my pants IMMEDIATELY. That is an order. )

Another excellent Alex/Justin story! Mixed with Bad Advice by riflethrough. It's another post-movie fic, about all the tension that comes along with the aftermath there. I love the voices here.

For some reason last night I was thinking about Narnia. Now, I never really got into the Narnia books that much, but one thing I always found especially interesting/creepy/intriguing/sad was the way time in Narnia went differently than time in the real world, how the kids were able to spend years and years and years living out their lives, being kings and queens, growing older, and suddenly they were back in the real world, children again, as though nothing had happened.

Also: I was really afraid in the Wizards movie that at the end, only Alex would retain the memories of what happened, and relieved when Justin and Max did as well.

I'm mentioned before that my bulletproof kink for incest ships is when it's the two of them, with nothing and nobody else to rely on but each other in the entire world. I want a story where that's true for Justin and Alex, for a really long period of time: weeks, say, even months, they're trapped in some magic world together, with no way of getting back home. I'm imagining fairy tale type woods, somehow, cottage and garden and homeyness that's never actually home. And they learn to make it work, to live and survive there, and they get closer and closer, because they're all they have, and after a while, well. After a while, it's not even so bad: you get used to the rhythm of the days, one after another. You might even be happy.

And then one day something happens and in a poof of smoke you're back in the lair at home, with your dad and Max grinning at you in satisfaction, and it was just you for six months but here it's only been a few hours and nothing's changed at all. Nothing except the inside of your heads. And nobody gets that, not Mom or Dad or Max or Harper, the other person is the only one who could possibly understand, but ever since you've got back, things are weird between the two of you, like something fragile has broken and you can't look each other in the eye all the way and you don't know why.

But you miss it.

So I just read this YA book that took place at Los Alamos during WWII, when all the scientists were holed up there working really really hard and it was all super top secret classified and nobody knew the place even existed at all. The book was about these two young girls growing up there while their parents worked on the bomb, but unfortunately the book (The Green Glass Sea by Ellen Klages) was not actually that good -- it was sort of generic-historical-younger-readers, you know? But now I kind of want a Manhatten Project bandom AU. All obsessive and smart and working incredibly hard under so much pressure and nobody else in the world knows what's going on! That's fascinating.

So, uh. Get on that, fandom! :D?

1) Pete/Mikey where Pete has a Waycest kink. I know, talk about the one filthy kink we don't know Pete has, right? I just like the thought of Pete thinking it's hot and just mentioning it as a joke, to see Mikey's reaction, just like he does everything, but then when Mikeyway sort of goes along with it, it becomes that much hotter.

2) I'M SERIOUS, I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT GENDERSWAP WAYCEST PREGNANCY. WHAT IS WROOOOOOOOOONG WITH ME. I DON'T APPROVE OF THESE KINKS.

(Please note that the only reason I don't approve is because I want endless amounts of it, and that's kind of a handful to get people to actually write for me. Um.)

Here is a random comment I made earlier tonight:

I feel like the thing with pregnant Gee is -- well, she's not going to talk publically about the dad, but even among like the band and family, everybody is going to assume it's Brian's. Which is weird, since technically she and Brian still haven't had any sort of sex, but is also understandable, because she notices when they're just standing around, the way he rests his hand on her arm or low on her back, the way he watches her so carefully all the time.

In bed she asks Mikey how he feels about it all, and he's quiet for a moment, resting his forehead between her shoulder blades. "I feel like I should be jealous," he says finally. "Like I should wish we could tell everybody. But ...I don't know. It's ours. We made that. And we both know that."

And she rolls over in the bed till she's facing him and kisses him softly.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.

3) Ray/Gerard cuddles are the best cuddles. Such an underappreciated genre!!!

4) I have been talking with both Zee and Lea today about how much it makes my brain hurt to think of Brian Schechter and Pete Wentz actually, like, co-existing. Interacting, even! I just -- *brain fizzles* How does that even work? I can't really imagine them having a conversation. I'd read the hell out of it, though.

ETA: and oh man, you all have seen how the Wikipedia article on Mikeyway was edited to say that Mikeyway confirmed Alicia was pregnant and due in November, right? A week ago, during an imaginary interview in New Zealand with an imaginary radio station? The really sad part is I mostly wish this was true just so I could ship Simpson/Wentz baby with Simmons/Way baby. I AM CREEPIEST.

ETA AGAIN: 5) Umbrella Academy fic. *__*

6) More about Gerard's geeky fanfiction/shipping.

Here, livejournal, I want to share some thoughts with you that I was talking about with people earlier:

I just thought about Bert/Gerard getting pregnant pre-break-up and it made me wanna cry.

They would be all cuddly and excited when Gee first gets knocked up! And while everyone else in the world is like "oh, this is not good" they're like "STFU! Baby! Yay!"

And then they break up before the baby is even born and Gee doesn't even want to let Bert see it -- it's Gee's baby, not his, Bert doesn't have anything to do with it except forgetting a condom.

It's so saaaaaaaaad. Because on the one hand, he is the dad and Gee is kind of a bitch to keep his kid away from him, but on the other hand, Bert's still drinking a lot/doing drugs/saying bad things about Gee in public so it's not like he's making a good argument for why she's wrong.

IDK [if Gee would eventually let the kid see Bert]! I can't really figure out what it would take to change Gee's mind, and meanwhile they would probably keep resenting each other more, right? Gee is overprotective. The kid has her! And her band! It doesn't need bad influences.

(Also I am not sure why this became girl!Gerard instead of mpreg, but whatever.)

So, wow, there is no way I would ever write this story both because a) I don't know what would happen next and b) it would make me too sad (and, ugh, the stuff about Bert's ex-girlfriend overdosing while she was pregnant with his kid makes it even worse), but jeez. I can't stop thinking about it. My poor darlings! I don't even know when I became a tragic Bert/Gerard shipper, but I totally did.

I guess at least in the future when I think about them, I'll be able to go "yes, it is sad, but at least they didn't bring a BABY into it!" So there's an upside! Um.

So I just spent a ridiculous amount of time playing with the LJ Haiku Generator. Most of the stuff is nonsense, of course, but the stuff that sneaks through is gold.

Like this:

but mikey likes it
because it's like the zen
sound of mikey's voice

Ahahaha. Oh Mikeyway!

And this one is an ENTIRE AU FIC PLOT -- COMPLETE WITH H/C, DUBCON AND POSSIBLY THREESOMES AND INCEST -- in 12 words:

gerard was waiting
for their masters to come with
mikey -- ray wasn't

I added the punctuation to make it easier to read, but otherwise I didn't change that at all. SOMEONE WRITE THIS NOW PLEASE. *waits*

Anyway, I eventually had to stop playing with the generator, because I realized I had, in fact, gotten the Greatest Possible Haiku In All of The Universe, and once that happened there was really no point in going on. I mean, honestly. What on earth could possibly top this?

i am thinking
too hard about pete wentz pete
wentz from fall out boy

Regina Spektor, That Time.

( lyrics )

This song makes me desperately want some sort of Gerard AU. Gerard and Bert? Gerard and Frank? Gerard and Mikey? I don't know. But Geraaaaaaaaaaard. The quirkiness and total fucked-up-edness all mixed together! Sitting on the fire escape to a crappy apartment and smoking in the middle of the night, when you have to go off to your crappy minimum wage job in three hours. Going to the same tiny diner every weekend to eat vegan pancakes and drink too much coffee. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor because you never bothered to get a bed and figure out how to actually put it together. Etc, etc, etc.

pre_emptive was expressing her joy over Michael Cera starring in the adaption of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and after I agreed with her I went off on this bizarre tangent:

Randomly, I feel as though Gerard must have been asked to be someone's girlfriend for five minutes MULTIPLE TIMES in his life.

[pause for jori to refer to the awesome Gerard-pretending-to-be-Mikey's-boyfriend discussion in fluffontop's journal a few weeks ago]

No, but, like. I am imagining that Gerard is everybody's go-to guy for "need to pretend to have a hot girlfriend for a few minutes/hour/evening." And Gerard loves it, because it's hilarious and fun and he gets to stick to the man and make his friends feel better at the same time, and it's just this thing he does. EXCEPT THEN ONE DAY WHEN HE'S DOING IT FOR ONE OF HIS FRIENDS (Ray? Frank?) HE SUDDENLY REALIZES HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE DATING THE PERSON ~*~*~*FOR REALS*~*~*~. Oh noes! The misunderstandings and awkwardness the whole night, while the other guy doesn't even know what's going on and Gerard's faking through the suckiness, because he's doing all this stuff that he wants to be doing, except it's all fake.

And I realized I was kind of a tool, but you know what? I EMBRACE that about myself. Stupid romantic comedies for the win!

( On the subject of Pete Wentz )

Christmas Eve! In my house, this equals all of us sitting around being completely mellow while my mother runs around like a chicken with her head cut off, freaking out about everything. It's sweet.

pre_emptive has me planning to write a Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson story. I don't even know, you guys. It's going to wait until the new year, and me getting settled into Eugene and all, but. I'm going to have to do actual research on Ashlee Simpson. Tentative title: The Aesthetics of Dick.

And then after that maybe I will get through my rewatch of Farscape, and think about Pete/Chiana!

(Sigh, FARSCAPE. Truly you are my favorite TV show of all time. *HEART*

( OTest-fucking-P EVER )

No one else could ever HOPE to compare. JOHN/AERYN, BITCHES. 4-evah!)

Uh. Last night I realized that Rebel Rebel is truly the Gerard Way song of my heart. In the sense that it is now forever connected in my brain with his character. Although I would also certainly not be adverse to hearing him cover it, to be honest.

HOT TRAMP I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

How are you guys doing? Waiting for the yuletide archive to open? Drinking eggnog? Thinking about Brendon Urie's stupid face? Come around my campfire! We can sing festive songs, all alone on the internet!