prison for jerks

Hello! I was productive today and wrote the porn I've been babbling about to shoemaster and impertinence and lordessrenegade! Here it is, if you would like to read it. I have been trying and failing at describing it to people, but let's go with dead!Mikey!spirit-in-Pete's-head jerk-off porn. Okay?

This starts out like commenty/chatfic (because I am quoting from an actual email I sent Jai) but then it becomes much more storylike for the actual porn. I will probably not write more in this universe, because the stuff that would make up the actual *story* part of it doesn't interest me as much to write? So, due warning and all that.

Blah blah blah death warning blah blah blah it's porn blah blah blah IDK, do you people have telepathy squicks?

Anyway. THAT SAID, here we go:

I have been thinking about the story where Mikeyway dies and then is, like, a spirit, right? And the person he finds who can hear him and understand him is Pete who unbeknownst to himself is apparently a natural medium. And Mikey has to use Pete to go and find Gerard again!

( It goes on from there )

I think what I enjoy most about the Northern Downpour video is the fact that for most of the video, Brendon looks like he is posing as the strapping young country lad about to have a passionate affair tumbling down-and-out nobleman's daughters in the stable stalls of a romance novel.

Also, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but Ryan Ross? Kind of a stupid face. Oh god.

In other news, speaking of romance novels, I have a desire in my soul for Cash/Singer romance novel AU of questionable historical accuracy. With balls and regency cliches and relationships of convenience. Yep yep. Also my icon reminds me that all historical AUs should include Miley Cyrus cameos, just because I love her.

I am at that place in my sickness where I can see the shining goal of NOT BEING SICK somewhere in the distance ahead, but it does not seem to get any closer. Just out of my reach! Siiiiiiiiigh.

Lea and I have decided we want an AU where Bert and Brendon and Pete and maybe Frank and any other of our tiny boys with freakish bendiness and/or upper body strength should be men's gymnasts. Imagine how hard Pete would push himself, dude, he'd be ridiculous. I am not sure how the Way brothers fit into this, but in order to make both me and Lea happy, Mikey would have to be Pete's ex he's still friends with while Patrick is totally his boyfriend going about his own perfectly normal life except for the whatthefuckdatingacrazycompetitiveathlete.

I know some of you out there have the ability to manip this for us. You're not fooling anybody.

pearl: also greta could be an olympic fencer.
pearl: because that's hot.
lea: ........oh wow
lea: omg, and gabe can be her creepy fan who has a glittery sign with hearts that says STAB THEM
pearl: ahahahahah.
pearl: they are totally dating, but they both prefer the term "stalker" to "boyfriend"

(Also the Cab would be faily. As they are in everything.)

So another thing about this week's Doctor Who is that it has reminded me how I totally want an old-fashioned type murder mystery AU for bandom. Oh, it could be so glorious!

Scene:
House party at Lady Ashlee's

Characters:
Gerard Way ... He portrays the distracted artist to a tee, but assuming naivete would be a mistake
Mikey Way ... Once a notorious partier, drinker, gambler and general man about town, his recent marriage seems to have changed his ways
Alicia Way ... Still occupied with the domestic joys of being a newlywed, Mrs Way seems quite accustomed to getting her own way
Pete Wentz ... A popular writer and Lady Ashlee's ersatz flame, no one's entirely sure where the rumors stop and the truth begins
Patrick Stump ... Wentz's collaborater, he's the steady, responsible one, but there's quite a ferocious temper hidden behind that friendly face
Gabe Saporta ... He's devoted his life to his dedication to pleasure -- few people see the spark of the true religious believer in his eyes
Greta Salpeter ... Young and blonde and pretty; surely she's nothing but sweet and wholesome...
Ryan Ross ... Wentz's protege, his monotonous scowl has transformed into a beaming smile over the last few months. Surely no one is that absent-minded naturally?
Spencer Smith ... Ross's best friend and de facto caretaker, he has an organized mind and a ferocious protective streak
Brendon Urie ... a rising singing star, the meteoric rise of his career is countered by the debacle of his personal life
Bert McCracken ... Following a tumultuous break-up with G. Way, McCracken's bad public reputation overshadows his true personality. Why did he accept this invitation?
Travis McCoy ... the world-famous detective, this is his first case since becoming clean and sober

AND THEN THERE'S A POWER OUTAGE AND A ~~~~~MURDER AND IT'S VERY EXCITING AND SHOCKING. THEY ARE CUT OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD BY THE STORM AND TRAVIE MUST FIND THE MURDERER .... BEFORE S/HE STRIKES AGAIN!!!!

AND THERE ARE HIJINX! AND DETECTING! AND IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME, OKAY?

Uhhhh, feel free to expand on this scenario if the mood strikes you. Surely some of you must be as dorky for this genre as I am.

So in the comments to my last entry, impertinence and I started discussing the concept of what a Gerard/Ray historical AU would look like if it was actually a Regency romance novel and also Gerard was a chick.

It might not surprise you to learn we had a lot of thoughts on this topic. Long comment threads are kind of a huge pain, so I pasted it all together and cleaned it up a tiny bit so it's slightly easier to read. Um, it's not a story. It is a ridiculous, handwavey outline of melodramatic schmoop.

&our brains;

( GERARD/RAY ARRANGED MARRIAGE OMG )

pearl_o: I need to write more high school pete/mikey today.
bexless: *_______________*
pearl_o: I am thinking about mikeyway doing his hair really carefully in hte mirror for an hour before making gerard take him to one of pete's soccer games.
pearl_o: it is really hot and crowded and gross. mikey doesn't actually ever have any idea what is going on.
pearl_o: like, he gets that the point is to try and kick the ball into the goal, but everybody's moving really fast and he doesn't really understand it.
pearl_o: also, he's not sure which one is pete, anyway.
pearl_o: one of the ones in red.
bexless: OH MIKEY
pearl_o: also, gerard is whining the whole time.
pearl_o: but after the game, when pete sees him, he does that really stupid, really wide horsey grin and says MIKEYWAY!
pearl_o: because he's so surprised mikey came.
pearl_o: so it was a really fucking boring couple of hours, but the part afterward is really nice.
bexless: PETERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
bexless: UGH UGH UGH <33333333333333333
pearl_o: ♥ BOYS.
pearl_o: now i am not actually going to write that part into a ficlet, though. oops! maybe i will post the chat to my journal and then just write about them making out later on.

I told sociofemme I would write her more Pete/Mikey high school AU. This is pretty sappy, but I'm okay with that. <3

Same universe as Deep in the Belly of a Whale. About 1000 words.

( you're so lucky i'm around )

Today I got a really great haircut, you guys. YES IT IS TRUE, I HAVE MANAGED TO OUT-CUTE EVEN MYSELF. I know, right?

The hair place we just started going to is kind of tiny and funky and cute, and our stylist is chatty and pretty with the kind of piercing/tattoos/dyed hair that look really good without actually scaring off the middle-aged people. Yeah, so, now I want a MCR AU where Frank owns a hair salon. FEED ME, FANDOM. FEED ME.

Here, let's play a game. If you can name my top 5 pairings in bandom right now, I will award you the PRIZE OF YOUR CHOICE. (I'm assuming you'll choose a ficlet, but what the hell, if there's something else you think I could manage.) If you comment with some but not all five, I'll tell you how many you got right, but not which ones. It's like the stupid game with colored beads you play in grade school!

Edited to add: Ahaha, you guys all did WAY better at this than I would have with any of you. I am super impressed! Apparently I am kind of loud about what I like? My top 5 at the moment (in no particular order) are: Pete/Mikey, Pete/Joe, Frank/Bob, Gerard/Brian and Gerard/Mikey.

(YES I STILL LOVE GERARD/RAY, AND IF I HAD DONE MY TOP SIX IT TOTALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN INCLDED. Heh.)

You know, I know there are people who really really despise Bob/Frank as a pairing, I do! It's just that for some reason, it's not something that I can keep in my memory for more than a few days at a time? So every single time the idea suddenly becomes really obvious, I am shocked as if it is the first time. IT'S BOB AND FRANK. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE BOB/FRANK? *FLAILYHANDS OF DOOM*

(The weird thing I am usually the type of person who is really easygoing about pairing hate. I mean, even when it's a pairing I like myself, I understand how it can be irritating or gross or whatever. I totally have things that make irrational antipathy arise in me, too! It's just this one pairing that flips the switch in my mind that makes me react like you just killed a puppy. Which is especially hilarious when I'm doing it while reading communities that only exist to, you know, be snarky and controversial. Uh, I'm a dork.)

If there was an All About Eve bandom AU, I think Gerard would have to be Margo Channing (GOD, Gerard as Bette Davis, it's so beautiful!) but who would be Eve Harrington? For some reason I'm leaning towards Ryan Ross, but I'm not sure.

impertinence and I were talking about the Ways/Ray story we wrote, and somehow came to the conclusion that Pete Wentz remains UNDEFEATED at Squick Chicken.

Prom!Frank could totally beat up Prom!Gerard. Also able to accomplish this feat: six year old girls.

Now I kind of want lots of high school AUs where geeky Gerard pines over Lyn from AFAR and writes tons and tons and tons of angsty goth poetry about her. MY HEART, YOU GUYS.

Off to experiment with taking the bus to the DIFFERENT and MORE FANCIER grocery store. Wish me luck, dude.

I officially declare that in all college AUs ever, Gerard should totally fill the role of Pretentious Liberal Arts Student of Morally Superior Bisexuality. You guuuuuuuys, he would be so good at it! Everybody's naturally bisexual, just some people won't admit it to themselves! It's not that there's anything wrong with monosexuality, he's not judging or anything, it's just that personally Gerard doesn't understand why anyone would want to restrict their options that way! He falls in love with people, not genders, you know, so it's purer! He talks to his friends on the edges of the Kinsey scale with genuine curiosity!

Pete, on the other hand, self-identified as pansexual for a while, but has moved on to defining his sexuality merely in terms of "slut."