prison for jerks

I am going to be completely and utterly honest with you guys: I pretty much just wrote songfic. Schmoopy songfic, for that matter. I really have no excuse to offer you all, except that, uh, I wanted to make inlovewithnight happy. And I mean -- there's porn? That makes it better, right?

Sigh.

The lyrics to the song in question, Franz Ferdinand's "Michael", can be found here if you require them.

sticky hair sticky lips
by Pearl-o

Pete/Mikey. NC-17. ~1500 words.

Established relationship. AU of the regular lives/no bands type.

For inlovewithnight. Thanks to anoneknewmoose for support and beta.

( sticky hair sticky lips )

Dig Me Out, Dig Me In
by Pearl-o

Gerard/Mikey, implied Gerard/other. NC-17. ~2500 words.

Warnings: incest; always-a-girl!Gerard; unplanned pregnancy issues; general fucked-up-edness.

Much thanks to anoneknewmoose for support and beta duty.

Summary: Gee took the test in the basement bathroom. Leaving the door open just a crack, so she could still hear the familiar sound of Mikey playing video games on the couch.

You can read this story at AO3 here, or behind the cut tag.

( Dig Me Out, Dig Me In )

More post-WWII Ray/Gerard! I ... just really like this universe, I don't know. And I still have plenty of lyrics to steal from Gaslight Anthem's "Miles Davis and the Cool" for titles, so there's that..

Don't Wait Too Long To Come Home
by Pearl-o

Ray/Gerard, 1800 words. Sequel to Sway Sweet and Slow; still 1940s post-war AU, but less crossdressing this time, and more angst.

Much thanks to impertinence for encouragement and looking this over.

( Don't Wait Too Long To Come Home )

So today I wrote 1500 words of completely gratuitous Waycest basement porn where Gerard is a girl and they never touch each other. Note: when I say gratuitous, I'm not kidding. But hey! Porn! So ... enjoy, I guess.

( and nothing is relieving )

I posted a timestamp meme the other day; here are the first two responses.

ciel_vert asked for "the Pete/Mikey you just posted, one month later"

( One month after began and ended with ellipsis )


impertinence asked for "FIVE THINGS THAT HAPPEN AFTER THE STORY WHEN FRANK ISN'T A FRENCH FRY"

( Five things that happened after A Boat That Can Love the Rocks or the Shore )

Click, Click, Click, Click
by Pearl-o

Ray/Gerard/Frank. NC-17. Written for the "film/photography" prompt on my kink bingo card. ~2200 words, pretty much a PWP.

Once again dedicated to bexless, dammit.

Summary: Ray likes taking pictures, Gerard likes being the center of attention, and Frank likes both of them.

( click click click click )

Hello! I was productive today and wrote the porn I've been babbling about to shoemaster and impertinence and lordessrenegade! Here it is, if you would like to read it. I have been trying and failing at describing it to people, but let's go with dead!Mikey!spirit-in-Pete's-head jerk-off porn. Okay?

This starts out like commenty/chatfic (because I am quoting from an actual email I sent Jai) but then it becomes much more storylike for the actual porn. I will probably not write more in this universe, because the stuff that would make up the actual *story* part of it doesn't interest me as much to write? So, due warning and all that.

Blah blah blah death warning blah blah blah it's porn blah blah blah IDK, do you people have telepathy squicks?

Anyway. THAT SAID, here we go:

I have been thinking about the story where Mikeyway dies and then is, like, a spirit, right? And the person he finds who can hear him and understand him is Pete who unbeknownst to himself is apparently a natural medium. And Mikey has to use Pete to go and find Gerard again!

( It goes on from there )

You realize the sun doesn't go down
by Pearl-o

R. 5500 words. Pete/Mikey. Not real at all! Title from "Do You Realize??" by the Flaming Lips.

Thanks to impertinence and etben for encouragement and bexless for excellent beta. ♥

Full disclosure: Nobody dies in this story, but minor characters are dead before it begins. There's bad sex. Gerard and Mikey are kind of mean to each other. Some of the facts are probably far off accurate. Also, it's another goddamn high school AU.

Summary: Mikey's slogging through high school, Gerard's working for the man, and neither of them are fine. God only knows what's going on with Pete Wentz.

( You realize the sun doesn't go down )

Imp said she was sad, too, so I wrote her a story. This one is longer and yet contains considerably less rape, incest, and random character infantilization. Actually it's pretty much completely gratuitous domestic boyfriends AU schmoop porn. IDK.

( Ray is brushing his teeth )

So I told loveyouallwrong about how I wanted Pete/Mikey selkie fic, and she freaked out and called me a furry. If you ever wondered where Lea's line are: there you go. Pete/Hemmy mpreg where Hemmy has magically turned into a human? Okay. Selkie fic? SQUICK.

The more you know, right?

Uh, for those of you who don't share Lea's aversion, here's 750 words of commentfic on the subject, because I am dumb and wrote it out to describe to someone and thus lost all need to actually make myself write it. Lame, self. Very lame.

( SELKIES ARE AWESOME SHUT UP )