prison for jerks

Yesterday was actually a pretty good day at work, but that didn't stop me from whining to everyone all day long through text messages. "blah blah blah I'm bored blah blah blah i want fic blah blah PETE/MIKEY/GERARD AU GENDERSWAP PORN WHERE SOMEBODY GETS KNOCKED UP, WHO'S WITH ME? :D? :D?"

Today I have no work, though. Instead I have a speshope!!!! Life is so good, you guys.

I have decided my new goal is write a story by the end of the year. That is as far as I've gotten so far. I mean, details like "plot" and "fandom" and "characters" can all come later, right? Right.

The other day I spent the day with liviapenn. It was awesome! She showed me Man from UNCLE. Ilya Kuryakin be miiiiiiiine. David McCallum, how so hot in all ages?

ALSO yesterday during that texting frenzy I actually might have made the most offensive joke of my entire life. Luckily it was to loveyouallwrong so I think I am safe.

1. From The Knowledge of Water, which I'm currently reading:

Love made Milly nervous. Sex, that was easy; one sys yes, one says no; but when the person was in love, who knows where it ended. Milly liked things clear and definite; love, like stories, should have a beginning, a middle and especially an end. Love was depressing, a want without reason, a male want. I want the Mona Lisa to throw in the Seine. I want to own another person. I want you to write, dear. I want the moon.

2. Today I have reached the point in my job hunt where I lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling and did pretty much everything but burst into tears. Two major lifechanging important things happened to me this summer, and it is still going to go down in my memory as The Summer of Rejection.

3. Why is shirtless pete wentz in a bunny head with his arms outstretched hot? That should just be creepy. DAMN HIS EYES.

4. I think I'm going to go play the Sims 2 some more. Mmmmm micromanaging imaginary lives, why so satisfying?

5. taraljc's 101 Reasons to Love the Middleman. Seriously, if you are not watching this show, you are missing out. If you show up in a couple weeks being "omigod this is so good why didn't you TELL me" I will beat you with a stick, because you should consider yourself officially told. Bandom people, it is a snarky comics-loving art kid saving the world! What more do you want?

1. The Middleman continues to rock my socks. On the Cursed Tuba Contingency, all I have to say is this: ( spoilers )

2. I got a pile of back issues last week of a magazine I'm planning on applying for an internship with in the next couple of weeks. I want this internship more than life itself, but man, even if I don't get it, I am glad I got these, because this stuff is really awesomely good. Uggggggh literature I love yoooooooooou. Even when you think of yourself as literature.

3. Cab and Hush Sound on Saturday, wooooot!

4. I have an interview tomorrow! For an actual job! A part-time customer service representative with Netflix, to be precise. It's a phone interview (which makes sense since the entire job is being on the phone) which is really nerve-wracking in some ways but kind of freeing in others. I don't have to worry about making eye contact or sitting up straight, woo? Anyway, the interview is at 11.30 my time so if you feel like sending along good mojo, that'd be awesome. It's evenings (4-10), probably four nights a week, which would be perfect (especially if I get the above internship), and from what I heard, it's a really good place to work for. Plus, free subscription!

5. I am feeling the urge to write suddenly. Like, not fanfiction, but actually original writing. The last time this urge hit was during my nervous breakdown in May 2007, so it's a little unexpected to see it happening now. Last spring I didn't actually write anything, but the notes I starting writing up then still really appeal to me, so I may go back to that idea if I can keep it up. I still really like it.

6. The National's Boxer and The Long Blondes' Couples are both quite good albums. But it really annoys me that when I play music in my bedroom, the wireless connection isn't good enough to scrobble anything. (Also that I can't lie on my stomach on my bed and talk to people on AIM.)

7. Seriously, though. MIDDLEMAN! I still need an icon. Anybody know where to find screencaps?

I just caught up on my friends list. skip=400 for the loooooooooooose, you guys.

I was feeling really gross Friday and Saturday, but I'm better now. I've been doing nothing but sitting around reading and watching music videos and applying for jobs. Also I am apparently in an incredibly bizarre hormonal stage, because I can't stop thinking about getting married and having babies. (Neither of those things has any chance of happening in the near future. Neither of those are things I generally plan for my future anyway.)

I am really excited for The Dark Knight. Woot.

i. Last night I watched the My Chemical Diary thing for the first time. You can probably fill in all my flaily ugggggggggh their little faces/I love them so much/how are they so precious/etc etc for yourself at this point, so instead I will just say this: Gerard thinks the band can't be just friends; ICU THAR JAMIA!; and Joe Troh has the stupidest, most distintive voice ever, ha.

ii. I also watched the latest episode of Doctor Who. As soon as it ended, my first thought was "I would totally read incest fic about that brother and sister."

*headdesk*

Whatever, I am just going to blame it on lingering effects from season 1 Rome and move on.

iii. Last night I reorganized my entire bandom pics collection. It's all so neat and orderly now! SEXXXXXXXXXXY. I have little hearts in my eyes. Maybe next week I will put a few hours aside to renaming every single one of them so I have one consistent naming system. *hearts in eyes*

iv. What the fuck, caesar salad, why do you have a random pepperoncini? Who does that?

v. The shower in my building, the one that has been making me miserable for weeks because of its general fail, has been fixed!

vi. I am in an excellent mood this afternoon, lj. Tell me something that is making you happy!

Ahahahaha, I was all set to do a big excited post about how MCR is coming to my town in April, omg! But then I woke up and it turns out that Vicky-T is not only reading our porn, but leaving (actually very nice and polite!) feedback on it.

And, well, that pretty much trumps everything else ever. In the world. Seriously, what?

My planned-down-to-the-last-minute schedule for leaving for class somehow lost ten minutes somewhere. Maybe I fell asleep in the shower without noticing? I don't know. Sorry, neurolinguistics, you will have to be boring without me today! :(

It's Valentine's Day. HUGS AND KISSES FOR EVERYBODY. Especially you excellent good-hearted pornographers. ♥ Tell me more about all your creepy thoughts on real people's genitalia, okay?

So all of you guys who commented on my post yesterday? Thank you. Seriously, thank you so much. It's, uh, possible I almost cried.

Today was a good day. I went to class! I am pretty sure I aced the really easy bio midterm. And after that was the Lithuanian/PIE seminar, which is pretty much made of awesome. Seriously, I draw so many hearts around that class. SO MANY. Even though today we were talking about accentuation and prosody, which, uh, pretty much make my mind go totally blank whenever they come up.

Here, this is the typed handout we print out before class and then go over:

( STRESS )

If you understood any of that, you are pretty awesome. And possibly an even bigger dork than me.

Sometimes when I am falling sleep and my mind is doing that random wandering thing? I end up thinking up new arguments for the stage gay wank. Yes, the one from LAST SUMMER. When I wasn't actually even IN BANDOM. The hell, brain! THE HELL.

My tummy hurts. My journal is currently friended by 666 accounts. I have seven classes left to go to before COBRA TIME. (Who else is going to the Portland show next Friday?) The Super Bowl episode of Alias season 2 is still just as awesome as it ever was.

If I was the sort of person who did bandomsecrets, my secrets would all be things like this:

1. I love Ray and I love Bob but I can't get into Ray/Bob because I associate it with weird tinhatting
2. When Patrick is paired with anyone but Pete or Bob, I get bored.
2a. When Patrick is paired with Gerard or Frank, I read the story anyway just because it is usually Summer of Like and there might be Pete/Mikey references hiding out in a few sentences. And then I get sad because I wish the story was about them instead.
3. Every time something happens in Panic fandom, I sort of gaze at my friends list the same way I gaze at it when something happens in Supernatural. Like "Aww. You guys are so cute! I don't get it at all, but you're cute!" And then someone posts a picture of Gerard I have never seen before and I FREAK OUT LIKE A NUTCASE.
4. I judge people who are mean to Pete Wentz. Like, I might still love you a lot! But I see it as a character flaw of some kind.
5. Everytime someone says Mikey Way is not hot, a unicorn dies. D:

My grand plan for today went something like this: go to the bookstore! return books for the class I dropped! take the money from that refund and buy GROCERIES OMIGOD FOOOOOOOOOD I MISSED YOU! go home and feel satisfied at a job well-accomplished!

I got through about half of that. The going to the bookstore and returning the books part went well! Only, you know, obviously when you paid for something using your debit card, the refund goes onto your card, too, not in cash of any sort. Which is not a problem!

Unless of course you are either very naive or very lacking in life experience. (I happen to be both.)

See, I assumed once they did that, the money actually EXISTED. It took me a bus ride across town, an hour of standing at the groceries staring longingly at food and checking my ATM every five minutes, and a phone call with my mother before I understood the truth. The truth, that money does not exist. That money does not belong to me. It is floating around somewhere in the void, and will continue to do so until my bank decides it's good and ready to acknowledge me, which will probably be, oh, several days.

SIGH.

[AHAHAHAHA FUNNY STORY. Apparently every time I checked my account balance, the ATM was ALSO charging me $1.50 I don't actually possess! Isn't that hilarious? Every other ATM I've ever used has charged for taking money out but not for just LOOKING, and has also given you that little screen of "hey, are you sure you want to spend this money?" I GUESS THIS ONE IS SPECIAL.]

On the list of ways that life DOESN'T totally fail, on the other hand, you should all know that I have had a tab open with this picture pretty much continuously since I posted those screencaps last night. Because they're BOYFRIENDS, okay. They are my pairing of Two Really Incredibly Nice Boys Who Love Each Other Without Any Sacrasm Or Really Any Edginess To Cut the Sap Whatsoever. In all fairness, it should be unbearable, but no. It's still pretty much just precious.

(Last night I stayed up way too late scouring the net for every bit of Ray/Gerard I could find. I'm not sure if it's actually possible, but there might be even less decent Ray/Gerard out there than decent Waycest. D: It's amazing how binging on badfic can bring on the same exact physical symptoms as binging on junk food, by the way.)

Oh, hey, do you any of you have a picture of Mikeyway from that one Fuse interview? Where he's laughing really hard at something and his face, seriously, pretty much just looks like this: XD ? Because I want to show my sister it, because the last time we talked she brought up Mikey looking like an anime character.

Which, ahahaha, reminds me, last email exchange we had was HILARIOUS. For context, she's not into bandom at all (except for Cobra Starship). She just puts up with me. ( So, okay )

Ahahaha. We all wonder that, really.

(This email from her is unique in that it doesn't mention Hemmy once. Seriously, she's obsessed with Pete's dog. It's kind of adorable.)

Finally -- new icon, courtesy of lordessrenegade. HEART.