i need a theme song. it could be called "i am a dork la la la."

[schmerica]

Omigosh, people, today is the slowest day ever. A girl can only look through the job ads for so long before she needs to kill herself, you know? And the sister is still sleeping, so I can't even make her dance like a monkey for my amusement.

This would be a perfect time for an entertaining fic meme to be going around, but I guess we can't always be so lucky. Don't any of you want to play with me in the comments? Ray and Fraser are pretty! And sometimes they have sex with girls, which is also pretty! Canadian RPF = incestuous high school drama club! Mal and River are fucking badass in the Serenity pic I scanned! Dan and Duck are quiet and tender and smoking hot! Buffy and Giles are dirty, dirty cake!

Hee. You know what would be amusing? Would be playing the letter game.

Fraser--

Fuck you.

I miss you.

Ray.

Your turn, flist. Hee.

Now I shall return to the brainteaser of imagining Ray and Fraser in elaborate AUs similar to the settings of every book I have read lately, regardless of whether or not they fit. Magicians in alternate history Edwardian Britain? Sure! Warriors in pseudo-feudal Japan? Why not! Nineteenth century Egyptologists? Who doesn't want to see that? Time-travel immortal cyborgs preserving human history? It's so perfect it's eerie!

...I really do make my own fun.

Edited to un-flock, Saturday evening.

Comments

[speshope.livejournal.com]

I do the AU thing with Jean-Paul Beaubier from the X-Men. Though when it comes to X-Men? No AU is a stretch.


I love AUs. Write one! Write five! Five Cracked Out AUs that Never Happened (But totally could!) to Ray and Fraser!

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Dear Ray,

I received your recent letter with, I must confess, a bit of alarm, as so much time has passed between my last letter to you and your response that I had feared you were not going to reply at all.

As to your letter's content, well, while of course you are entitled to your specific point of view, as your response so aptly demonstrates (and which, may I add, I read hearing your voice gruffly make such a rejoinder to me, as it has on numerous occasions) I feel I am duty-bound to reply that you have missed the point of my last message, and have chosen instead to harp on but one unfortunate moment of our last meeting and have blown it out of all proportion vis a vis the rest of our adventure, which, I would hope, you regard, as I do, as very, very agreeable indeed. Why you continue to insist on deconstructing every shred of conversation until you have formed it into something that annoys you is still beyond my powers of comprehension.

Which is to say, in response, fuck you, too.

That being said, I miss you more than I can express in words.

Benton

[sprat.livejournal.com]

Yes! Write the nineteenth-century Egyptolgy AU! You could make it long and plotty! Ray could know dead languages and wear glasses all the time! Fraser could be even geekier than usual! I would absolutely read it. :)

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Why you continue to insist on deconstructing every shred of conversation until you have formed it into something that annoys you is still beyond my powers of comprehension.

Which is to say, in response, fuck you, too.

You know, I really, really love this. This is one of the lines that makes me think Oh, if only that had been on the show!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

You could make it long and plotty!

Ahahahahaha. That is funny in how it is so OUT OF MY POWER.

They could be totally geeky, though. Plus they would be all sweaty and running around in rolled-up shirtsleeves and covered in dust all the time. Woo!

Why is the idea of Ray knowing dead languages so sexy, I wonder?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeee. Wouldn't that require, like, research or something? Or should I just continue to make them even more cracked out until they resemble nothing real?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

See -- see Fraser that is why I do not write to you. That is exactly why right here. I don't know why I even bother because you're just you're like this big frustrating stupid guy and you drive me crazy and you're just being you. This is exactly it do you get that???

Jesus Christ.

Last night I went out with this girl named Marianne. She talked about fish a lot, but she was a good dancer.

I didn't sleep with her if that's what you're thinking.

I gotta go to work.

Ray.

[ficbyzee.livejournal.com]

Now I shall return to the brainteaser of imagining Ray and Fraser in elaborate AUs similar to the settings of every book I have read lately, regardless of whether or not they fit.

Cowboys. There needs to be a cowboy AU somewhere, if there isn't already...

[speshope.livejournal.com]

The beauty of really cracked out AUs as very little research is involved. Because they're *AUs*. It's not actually Edwardian England, it's AU Edwardian England where people are Gay and say things like 'eh'.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

See, but I haven't been reading anything set in the Old West, though, or they'd probably be in the game, too,

...I *have* been watching a bunch of Deadwood, but that even thinking of Ray and Fraser in that universe makes my head hurt. Ow.

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

What's the Edwardian magician story? I mean the original, not the Ray-and-Fraser one.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, Carolinbe Stevermer's A Scholar of Magics -- the sequel to A College of Magics. Very nice YA fantasy.

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

Ah, right. Because, you see, I am currently reading the magicians in Regency England book, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, and rather enjoying it. And there's another one I read, Druid's Blood by Esther Friesner, which is Sherlock Holmes in a world where England's magic never went away, and I liked that too. So, yknow, it kinda sounds like something that might appeal :)

[ficbyzee.livejournal.com]

Yes. Possibly I have been over-influenced by reading comics Elseworlds where Wonder Woman is the town sheriff and... yeah. *hushes*

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Dear Ray,

Thank you for your response. I am pleased you enjoyed your evening with Marianne, with or without fish. I know dancing is important to you and I remember fondly the lessons you attempted with me, and apologise again for being a difficult student. In any case, I hope you are happy.

And there is no need for you to inform me each and every time you do or do not have sexual relations with someone. I assure you your intimate relations with Marianne are your own business.

As are mine, with...well that's not important.

I hope this letter finds you in good health. Please give my regards to Lt. Welsh.

Benton

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

P.S. I apologise also for annoying you, something I seem to do with great regularity.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Hee. That is the beauty of this game -- it applies to anything! Next I am reading about Renaissance popes. We'll see if I can do that.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

FRASER--

You didn't tell me you were dating anybody.

That's great. That's hunkydory. I'm happy for you. I'm sure you'll live happily ever after, freezing your eyebrows off and licking gross things and being a jackass to your best friends and having dozens of know-it-all babies.

Send me an invite to your wedding, if you remember.

RAY.

P.S. That came out a little snottier than I meant. I'm an asshole. I liked the postcard you sent last time, it was pretty. I put it on the fridge.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Dear Ray,

Not that it is actually any of your business, any more than it is mine whether or not you and your girlfriend Marianne intensify the nature of your relationship, but I feel it is incumbent upon me to clarify a misconception. It was not my intention to convey to you that Cpl. Donaldson was anything more than a casual companion at local cultural events (and of course the Sunday Potluck, but that hardly counts, as both of us were there in a more-or-less official capacity). I'm sure you understand the need for human contact, as I recall your frequent complaint that you could not understand how someone could live here without pizza delivery. Lee, that is, Cpl. Donaldson (who visits the post only bi-weekly, may I add) is an affable and pleasant companion whose presence alleviates some of the loneliness of such a remote posting.

And it is lonely here, Ray. I am surrounded by the silence of the tundra and the enormity of the sky. Diefenbaker provides what company he can. Funny; before our adventure I never realized how big and lonely the Territories could be. I'm afraid not a day goes by that I don't enter my cabin wishing you were here, filling the space with your conversation, your personality, your warmth.

Benton

P.S. I am glad you liked the postcard. I hope you enjoy the enclosed photographs.

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the pictures. I put them on my fridge, too. The second one I like -- it reminds me of some of those mornings on the adventure, when it was real quiet and nothing around for miles.

I guess that's what you were saying about the lonely thing. Chicago's not like that. There's people everywhere. Never quiet at all.

I really don't know why I'm writing these letters, Fraser. Everything comes out so STUPID. Nothing like what I mean at all.

When Stella went to college, she wanted me to write to her because she thought it'd be all romantic and stuff, love letters, like all the books she read. We got two mailed off, I think, and then gave up. It was stupid. That was what the phone was for.

Your letters sound like you, though, so I guess that's something.

Frannie says hi.

Ray.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

(Ooops. Shay, that was me andnot Livia, because I am at her apartment and was stupid and forgot to sign out as her.)

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

And here I thought someone else had joined in. Hey, you know, we sorta almost have a fic here.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Dear Ray,

Your letters are not stupid. In fact, they sound exactly like you, and you are not stupid in the least.

And I wonder... You mention the love letters you wrote to Stella when you were separated. I understand why she wanted you to write. Sometimes it's easier for people to talk about things in written words than over a telephone. You have the time to think things through when you compose a letter, to find the right words to say. When you and I speak on the phone I often feel the awkward silences and find myself unable to say what I am really feeling.

I hope you know I speak from the heart when I say I wish you were here.

Benton

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

*criez* Whaddaya mean almost? WHERE'S THE REST, DAMMIT????

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

Pearl. Shay. TOTALLY a fic do you have here, were you to keep (please please please) going with this. Dude, I LOVE this, so much. The two of you are channeling them alarmingly well. Keep going, I beg you.