schmerica. pete wentz, super mom. (Reply)

lordessrenegade: nah, actually. pete wants PATRICK to have his babies, who am i kidding?

pearl_o: *giggles*

pearl_o: I think pete wants to have patrick's babies.

lordessrenegade: heee. yes, this is true.

lordessrenegade: pete's all patrick, make babies with me! and patrick is like go away, pete. i'm working. also, you're still a dude.

pearl_o: AWWWW.

pearl_o: whatever, patrick! that's prejudice.

pearl_o: pete could be an awesome mom.

pearl_o: he'd bake cookies and everything.

lordessrenegade: this is true. pete would be the coolest mom ever.

lordessrenegade: they'd be kinda scary lopsided cookies. but they'd be cookies.

pearl_o: *nods*

pearl_o: they might taste a little funny. next time he'll get the cookie dough where you just break off little squares. that still counts.

lordessrenegade: patrick tells him it doesn't. but patrick's full of shit. also, it doesn't stop him from eating them and liking them, so.

pearl_o: pete has to buy himself the best mom ever apron though. patrick refuses. it's sad.

lordessrenegade: awwww. *pets pete* that is sad!

lordessrenegade: but it's ok, patrick totally appreciates him. he just, you know. shows him in other ways than buying him aprons, is all.

pearl_o: yes!

pearl_o: especially really cheesy aprons.

pearl_o: because ... it's stupid, pete. it's embarrassing.

lordessrenegade: exactly! pete has standards, you know.

lordessrenegade: patrick i mean.

lordessrenegade: patrick has standards. pete....is pete.

pearl_o: but then maybe as a secret christmas present, he maybe gets him a special mug with a slogan and also his photograph on it.

pearl_o: and pete thinks it's the best thing ever.

pearl_o: or, ooh, even a SWEATSHIRT.

lordessrenegade: awww! <3 of course he does. (because it's from patrick. and pete thinks patrick is the best thing ever. except maybe for their baby.)

lordessrenegade: ahahahaha oh my god yes. and he cringes inside a little every time pete wears it (which is a LOT).

pearl_o: after a while the baby and pete and patrick start to get stretched out and a little distorted, but pete doesn't mind.

lordessrenegade: and of course when the baby's older (and it's even MORE worn out), he (she? oh man, it should be a she! pete with a little girl!) is going to HATE that it exists. and pete will wear the thing just to torture her.

pearl_o: ahahaha, yes.

pearl_o: pete also saves everything single thing the kid ever makes or brings home.

pearl_o: and she's like, seriously, dad, why do we need a leaf on the fridge that i gave you when I was three?

lordessrenegade: ahahahah yes. until patrick goes on a cleaning spree and pete is HEARTBROKEN until he realizes that patrick really just moved a lot of it to the basement.

lordessrenegade: pete is all you'll get it when you have kids. *long scary stare* when you're like...forty.

lordessrenegade: (because i mean, NO ONE is going to be good enough for pete wentz's little girl.)

pearl_o: ahaha, totally.

lordessrenegade: or patrick stump's, for that matter!

pearl_o: although at some point he is going to be torn with the desire for grandchildren.

lordessrenegade: awwww, he totally is. he's going to want to tell them about the old days when he and papa were ROCK STARS. NO REALLY. REAL ROCK STARS.

pearl_o: ....it will be so hard to tell that story without mentioning his penis!

lordessrenegade: he'll rehearse it with patrick, just to make sure he has it right.

pearl_o: censoring yourself is HARD, yo.

pearl_o: he doesn't have much practice!

lordessrenegade: (except he'll always leave that part in when he's practicing. because he knows patrick LIKES his penis.)

lordessrenegade: and patrick will be all STORIES. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

lordessrenegade: (but then there will be kissing. because he really does like pete. and his penis.)

pearl_o: Awww. <3

lordessrenegade: booooys. boys with BABIES.

pearl_o: I feel like this entire conversation of ours is a thing of brilliance.

lordessrenegade: it is, yes! \o/

pearl_o: *saves it as "pete wentz, mom of the year"*