early!mcr, gerard/frank, not into it

[schmerica]

What does it say about me that this is the only Gerard/Frank I have ever written?

*****

Frank's been in the band for the better part of a year, and he's jerked off thinking about Gerard more times than he count by the time he gets around to bringing up the subject. Everybody in this band loves each other, he knows that, and they're all pretty affectionate, but ...

But Frank's spent nine months cuddling with his head resting in Gerard's lap, kissing on stage and in private, easy lazy make-outs, and God knows they've grabbed at each other for a quick grope enough times. It's like it's been months and months of endless foreplay, and as nice as it is, Frank doesn't get it. It's all homoerotic tension and no actual homoerotic fucking and he doesn't know why.

So eventually he does the obvious. He brings it up to Gerard.

The van's parked at a rest stop. Mikey and Matt both practically ran to the bathroom, and Ray is off somewhere trying to trick the soda machine to actually give him a pop, despite the fact that he's a quarter short of the price. Gerard's sitting on the curb of the sidewalk, near the green green grass where people walk their dogs, and Frank's standing, leaning back against the driver's door of the van.

Gerard is lighting his cigarette, blinking up into the sunlight like he's surprised by the brightness. He's two sweaters and a heavy jacket over, even though it's like sixty degrees out.

Frank says, "So, Gee."

"Hm?" Gerard says, glancing his way.

Frank takes the three steps over to the sidewalk and sits down next to Gerard. Gerard slings his arm around his shoulders automatically, not even thinking about it.

"You notice we fool around a lot?" Frank says.

Gerard scrunches up his face and blows out smoke.

"Why the hell aren't we having sex?"

It makes Gerard laugh. Frank pokes him really hard in the ribs and Gerard goes, "Ow, shit, that hurt, Frankie!"

"Hey, fuck you."

Gerard rolls his eyes. "I wasn't laughing at you, jackass. It's not you. Fuck." He shakes his head. "Look, I'm just not that into it, okay?"

"You're not into it," Frank repeats.

"Yeah," Gerard says. "Like I said, it's not you. It's the same with anybody."

"I don't get it," Frank says. "What exactly is it that you're not into? Sex? You're not into sex?"

"Yeah, basically." Gerard shrugs. "Whatever, I mean. I don't have that high of a sex drive to begin with, you know, and then I'm on all these meds right now. It's one of the big side effects."

"Wow," Frank says. He stares at Gerard's face like it's something new and weird. "So, what, you don't even like jerk off?"

"Sometimes," Gerard says. He puffs his cigarette. "Not that often. I just don't think about it much, you know?"

Frank doesn't know, actually. Frank can't imagine going more than a couple minutes without thinking about it. Frank hasn't gone more than a day and a half without jerking off since he was fifteen.

"I don't know," Gerard continues. He gives Frank a serious look. "I mean, I'll give you a handjob or something if you want, but I'm not really going to get much out of it."

Frank stares out at the ugly tiled roof of the rest area across the parking lot, speechless for a long minute. Finally, he says, "Well, fuck."

"Yeah," Gerard says thoughtfully. He pats Frank's shoulder and then stands up, crushing his cigarette under his sneaker. "I'm gonna go piss before we leave."

Frank stays seated on the curb and watches Gerard's ass the entire time he crosses the parking lot, until he disappears from view behind the wall. Then he lies down onto his back on the sidewalk and frowns up at the wispy clouds until Mikey comes back and sits on his chest, yelling, "King of the mountain!" until Frank shoves him off and climbs onto his back and Ray butts in, taking Mikey's side and trying to cheat by being tall and strong, and they're all busy with that tuffle right up to the time they're back on the highway, and Frank's in the middle seat, next to Gerard, who falls asleep on his shoulder within fifteen minutes, and it's just like normal.

Comments

[shoemaster.livejournal.com]

I know you said it's evil? but I'm still here going AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW like a freak.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*beams at you* They love each other a lot! And boooooooooys. I think AWW is totally appropriate.

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK


CMERE BB I'LL LET YOU SUCK MY COCK



I mean uh

what?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE SUCH A GIVER

♥♥♥♥♥

THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER DICKS IN THE WORLD, FRANKIE. IT'S OKAY. GERARD WILL STILL CUDDLE YOU.

[trixiesfic.livejournal.com]

I find this bizarrely and totally believable. Oh, Gerard.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I honestly think it's a legitimate way things could have gone, you know? I mean, I can believe Gerard is one of the people who likes sex but it's not a really high priority to begin. But between all the anti-depressants and then the drinking and drugs later, I think it makes a lot of sense to think of Gerard as just not, well. Getting it up.

[etben.livejournal.com]

...yeah, I'm going to have to agree with allison: AWWWWWWWWWWW.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*beams at you* BOYS, marie. I love them!

This is the whole long thread with me and jori talking about the subject (http://pearl-o.livejournal.com/946480.html?thread=9958704#t9958704).

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

♥ ♥ ♥

And see, the problem is that if I try to write this it will be 60,000 words long, minimum, and involve a horrifying amount of research into things I don't actually want to know about stuff that affects the male sex drive. You don't want that, do you?

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

And then Gerard gets clean and he's like JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS GOING ON?

Because he doesn't really think about it, but it's not like he's been consistently sober since he was, like. 14 or 15. And back then he totally just didn't notice.

And Frank offers to help out of, you know. The goodness of his heart.

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

I really, really do.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*sadface* I don't want to give you another epic! I know you have enough of them. Sigh.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Dira and I were just talking about this in another window. It would be worse than PUBERTY, man.

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

SO much worse than puberty. Because now that he's clean everything feels sharp and real and Mikey totally throws a shoe at him the first time he tries to get off on the bus, because he thinks he's okay, he's just gonna wiggle around until he feels better and can go to sleep, but he doesn't realize that he's making these little high gasping noises, and really, Mikey could have gone his ENTIRE life without having to hear that.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

pearl_o: He starts snapping at everybody all the time when they get near him. Especially Frank, when he starts kissing or climbing into his lap or anything.
pearl_o: also, crabby!gee -> annoyed frank making a crack about somebody needing to get laid -> FIGHT.
dsudis: ooohyes.
dsudis: FISTS OF FURY.
dsudis: followed by the "You're actually an asshole and said something really hurtful" silence, which totally baffles Frank.
pearl_o: AWWW.
pearl_o: ray would totally be the one to actually be like "um, gerard, is anything ... wrong?"
pearl_o: and gerard confesses everything! and ray is like "Oh. Um. *pats gerard's back*" and has no idea what to do with any of this information.
pearl_o: And he just kind of goes back to Frank and is like "Maybe, uh. Maybe you should just back off for a while and give him some space."
dsudis: "He'll, uh. He'll come to y--uh. I have to. Go."

---

pearl_o: now i am thinking about gerard calling up brian in the middle of the night to complain. and it's better than him calling while he's wasted, but still, geez. Brian's like "unless you want me to talk you off on the phone, there's not exactly much i can do about this, gerard. go to sleep."
dsudis: And Gerard's all kind of "Wow, um... maybe?"
dsudis: And Brian is all "You do not pay me enough for this."

[ficsoreal.livejournal.com]

While Frank is somewhere lurking nearby thinking about how he's been waiting his whole life to hear this. As someone said above, Frank totally offers to help him out and Gee is just so grateful. \o/!

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

Gerard is all "Come on, I would do it for you!" and Brian wonders if time travel is possible, so he could go back and warn himself when he saw them at Maxwell's that one day that weirdo lead singer would be begging him for phone sex.

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

*runs away*

[stele3.insanejournal.com (from livejournal.com)]

WANT WANT WANT. *grabby hands*

But only if it makes you happy. Um, can I bribe you? What fic do you want?

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

Would now be a helpful time to point out that Gee was on Wellbutrin, which is the only commonly prescribed non-SSRI antidepressant and thus doesn't actually have the sexual side effects?

*smiles helpfully*

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

Can you STOP TIME for me? Because then maybe we can talk. :)

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

*puts fingers in ears*

La la la I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA

[stele3.insanejournal.com (from livejournal.com)]

AWWWWWWWWW, FRANKIE. *sigh*

I'll echo the others and say, yeah. Very possibly. I had a thought like this not long ago, too. Drugs pwn the sex drive, man.

BUT THEN HE GETS CLEAN. AND WAKES UP.

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

Well, he was drinking enough that it wouldn't necessarily have to matter. And coke will fuck you up all over anyway. So really, it still works!

Just not as well as if his doctors were being a cheap bastards and had him on Prozac or anything. (My knowledge of the sexual side effects of SSRIs, let me show you them.)

[stele3.insanejournal.com (from livejournal.com)]

Oh, dude, I know the feeling. I just started a third, count it, THIRD EPIC today. (Cobra Starship, woot!) Why do we do this to ourselves?

(PS, you have AIM? I am childofuniverse9. I'm throwing myself an epic-writing pity party, and you're invited!)