grrr. and also bah.

[schmerica]

1. In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey -- Beck, "Loser", guessed by callmesandy and thete1
2. Everyday she wears the same thing, I think she smokes pot -- Ben Folds Five, "Kate", guessed by mosca and notemily
3. Well I'm just outa school, feeling real real cool -- Iggy Pop, "Real Wild Child", guessed by mosca (although this is another of those songs where I have really a lot of covers; I may have actually been listening to Joan Jett or Josie and the Pussycats)
4. But when you said that I wasn't worth talking to, I had to take your word on that -- Liz Phair, "Divorce Song", guessed by callmesandy and corinna_5
5. A black cherry paradise, half the sugar twice the spice -- Josie and the Pussycats, "Three Small Words", guessed by teleute12
6. And you could be a big star, you could go far, make a landmark -- Garbage, "Shut Your Mouth", guessed by thefakeheadline and shrift
7. Once in a while there's this girl I don't know in my dreams
8. I wanted you to sleep with her and hate yourself instead of me -- Kristin Hersh, "Spain", guessed by callmesandy
9. And the one who made it made it because her breasts were really big
10. I may be dead, honey, but I was left with my eyes
11. I couldn't drink enough to make this make sense, but I think I'm gonna give it a try -- Old 97's, "Jagged", guessed by corinna_5
12. First time I shot her, shot her in the side / Hard to watch her suffer, but with the second shot she died
13. When you asked for a date I thought that you were straight -- Waitresses, "Johnny Are You Queer?", guessed by ladysorka
14. Yesterday I got so scared I shivered like a child -- Cure, "In Between Days", guessed by corinna_5 (and musesfool)
15. If you think like Thomas Edison could you invent a world for me? -- Sleater-Kinney, "One Beat", guessed by lifeinwords
16. I could be the one to be your next best friend
17. She's the one who would have taken me to my first all ages show -- Juliana Hatfield, "My Sister", guessed by arianamama
18. I search myself, I want you to find me / I forget myself, want you to remind me -- Divinyls, "I Touch Myself", guessed by thete1
19. Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party -- Producers, "Springtime for Hitler", guessed by corinna_5
20. I like it when my hair is poofy, I like it when you slip me a roofie -- Moldy Peaches, "Who's Got the Crack?", guessed by dammitcarl

Normally, you know, I would make more of an effort to have actual content here, but tonight, not so much. Because -- damn you, paper! Damn you to HELL!

So I'm going to be up all night till I get the damn thing done, but I can't get on AIM or IRC because, um, too much distraction. But I need *something*, and god knows I'm going to be checking my email eight million times tonight. Therefore, I implore you all: if you love me, leave me diverting comments tonight! Guess at lyrics. Give me comment porn or weird-ass tiny due south or firefly snippets. Tell me amusing anecdotes and strange facts. I don't even care, dude, but I will be muchly grateful for *something*.

Comments

[nifra-idril.livejournal.com]

I'm going to tell you a story. A story about a boy in Canada who wore a big hat and believed in upholding what was right. He was smart, and he was sweet, and he was hella poor, but it was okay, because he was also like meccha-woodsmen. He loved his father a great, great deal, but his father was distant like whoa. And then he met a totally evil ho in the snow and had sex with her even though he knew that she was way evil. He was all, "You sure are pretty, evil ho," and she was all, "Do me!" And so he did. And then he was very sad because he turned her in to prison, and she was WAAY angry. I mean, whoa, dude, was she angry or *what*.

But then he was a man and he had a wolf and he loved his wolf and his wolf loved him. He still loved his dad, but his dad got killed, and because he was a meccha-woodsmen the man tracked the asshole bastards who killed his dad all the way to Chicago, where there's lots of pizza but no New York Yankees. Which is sad for Chicago. Anyway, he found the guys who killed his dad, and he was all, "YOU GUYS KILLED MY DAD" and they were all, "Check it, dude, we're Mounties, too!" And Canada was all "Whoa, this is some crazy shit, man," and so he stayed in Chicago even though there were no New York Yankees, and he worked at the Consulate. Which was a silly, weird place. And he had an Italian friend named Ray, who was pretty cool all in all and everything was vaguely fine until the evil ho showed up. And she all seduced him again wtih her "Do me!" line, and he was all "Whoa, man, okay" and then he ended up getting shot by his Italian friend and everyone was SO SAD.

Then he went briefly back to Canada and when he came back he had a Polish friend pretending to be his Italian friend and his Polish friend was WAY HOT and the man was all, "Whoa, you're way hot," and the Polish guy was like, "Takes one to know one" and they fell madly in love and had ridiculous amounts of great sex. The end.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I love you times INFINITY.

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

This put the *biggest* freaking grin on my face, when I was having the shittiest of shitty days at work. You're a genius!

[marialima.livejournal.com]

ROFL - I just simply loved this. I'm prepping for a client meeting and needed the laugh.

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Dude, that was like, so awesome!