dear non-genderfuck fans: i promise this will come to an end eventually. love, me

[schmerica]

And then this evening brooklinegirl and I were talking about Fraser and Ray having sex while Ray is a girl, and --look, we're dirty, all right? This is not news. But we were talking about how the sex would be really different, now. Which, duh, of course it's different, Ray has a cunt and breasts and no cock, of course the sex is gonna be nothing like before. Except it's not just different like that, it's different in lots of ways, stuff Ray wouldn't even have thought about. Because like the first time (and even just that's weird, having a first time, another first time, like everything else had been rubbed out or something), the first time, Fraser was real careful and gentle and exploring, because neither of them knew exactly what felt good and bad and oh my god fucking fantastic in this body yet, not at all.

Except once they got past the first couple times, once they both starting figuring out exactly how to make Ray's body purr -- the thing was, it wasn't just that Ray was different, because Fraser was different, too. And Fraser's bigger than Ray is now, and stronger, and he doesn't even hesitate to use it -- they'll be making out in the kitchen or something, and Fraser'll just set him on the kitchen counter or table or something and keep kissing him or go down on him, or he'll pick Ray up, and Ray'll wrap his legs around Fraser to brace himself and Fraser will just fuck him like that, against the wall, holding his weight the whole time.

And the other thing about Fraser is that -- Ray doesn't know if it's just him, or Fraser just acts different having sex with women, but Fraser's like weirdly diligent. Like the goal of every single time they have sex is "Let's Show Ray as Good a Time as Humanly Possible." It's not like Ray doesn't appreciate the orgasms, but it's still weird, because the total focus is on him, Fraser's total focus is on him, the total focus is on Fraser getting him off. And Fraser's good at it -- Fraser knows how to get off Ray better than Ray does, almost -- but the point's still there. Ray doesn't know if Fraser just thinks he's being gentlemanly or considerate or if he doesn't even notice it at all, but what Fraser doesn't get is that the whole thing just means Fraser is the one in control. Fraser's always the one in control, and it's freaking Ray out.

The whole thing is freaking Ray out. He likes the sex, he likes it a lot, but it's still freaking him out. The fact that he likes it this much, even. Fraser doesn't seem to get that, either, because Fraser's not freaking out at all, Fraser thinks Ray's just as much himself as he ever was in his real body. Fraser's Mr. Issue Free over here, which Ray is willing to guess is not a title Fraser has ever been in possession of before now. Fraser doesn't seem to get that Ray is really a guy, except now he's a girl, and it's fucked-up and really annoying and fucking Christ, he just wants to fuck Fraser again for real, like he used to.

When he tells Fraser about how he's freaking out, Fraser just looks a little concerned and kind of hurt. He starts to stammer something out real stiffly about how he hadn't realized, he'd thought things were going well, and he certainly--

And Ray interrupts him, says, "No, Fraser, you don't get it. It's not that it's not good. It's good. That's not it. It's just, I'm not, this is weird. This is freaky. I miss my cock. I miss fucking you. I miss your blowjobs." He kicks the table and slouches back in his chair, his arms crossed against his chest.

And Fraser bites his lip, and after a minute he gets this thoughtful look on his face, and Ray narrows his eyes all suspiciously and says "What?"

And Fraser goes, "Well, it's not the same thing, of course, but we do have other options--"

Which is how they end up with Fraser on his knees, eyes closed, sucking Ray's dildo while Ray pulls his hair. And yeah, Fraser's right, it's not the same thing, it's nothing like it, but this is good in its whole own way; Fraser's a brilliant guy, Ray thinks, a brilliant guy and a great cocksucker, and he pulls Fraser's hair again and Fraser moans around Ray's silicone dick.

....Um. And then Tracey had to go actually, you know, sleep. But that was the gist of it.

Comments

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

and Ray'll wrap his legs around Fraser to brace himself and Fraser will just fuck him like that, against the wall, holding his weight the whole time.

OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU BOTH.

[spontaneously combusts]

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

No combustion! *gathers up silverakira ashes to resurrect*

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

I will stop stalking you, but only when you stop writing this (okay, maybe not), because this is so wonderful!

Because Fraser's total focus is on him, the total focus is on Fraser getting him off. And Fraser's good at it -- Fraser knows how to get off Ray better than Ray does, almost -- but the point's still there. Ray doesn't know if Fraser just thinks he's being gentlemanly or considerate or if he doesn't even notice it at all, but what Fraser doesn't get is that the whole thing just means Fraser is the one in control. Fraser's always the one in control, and it's freaking Ray out.

And of course Fraser can't help but do anything to keep Ray happy, Which is how they end up with Fraser on his knees, eyes closed, sucking Ray's dildo while Ray pulls his hair.

Oh god! The politics of this just kills me.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*grins*

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

You must finish this story. Really. *hides voodoo dolls and tries to look innocent.*

Please?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heh. It doesn't really have a beginning or a middle or any actual features of a story, is the thing, so it might be difficult.

[norah.livejournal.com]

Fraser's Mr. Issue Free over here, which Ray is willing to guess is not a title Fraser has ever been in possession of before now.

OMG so good. Pearl_o, do you love me? Did I mention when my birthday is? Can I beg, bribe, or otherwise entice you NEVER TO STOP THIS SWEET SWEET CRACK?

Because yes, exactly.

Though as someone who has worn a strap-on, I must say, I suspect that Ray will be disappointed.

It will be so almost the same and yet totally not, and it might even heighten his frustration, except it will also be hot, right, Fraser on his knees like that, working so hard at sucking Ray's fake cock, and it's not like Ray can feel it, but Fraser can, and he's so hard that when he reaches down to jerk himself off and his hand first touches his cock Ray can see him shudder and struggle not to come. And that's good, even if Ray can't really feel Fraser's mouth on him, he can see that shudder, and he can hear Fraser moaning, like his mouth has been empty, hungry for cock and Ray shoves in a little more, pushing Fraser's mouth down on the slick black rubber. It's not polite, but Fraser likes it, Ray can tell. And maybe after Fraser's come and he's too relaxed to do that whole diligence thing Ray will slip the straps loose and take the dildo out, and fuck himself on his own cock, fingers busy on his clit. He'll come with Fraser sucking lazily at one nipple and his hands, both hands, slippery between his legs. He'll come hard, in those pulses he can feel in his stomach, now, gripping the dildo tight inside his cunt and thinking about Fraser's mouth.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

YOU WIN AT LIFE. Like, I could love you more right now? But I have no clue how. Mmmmmmmm.

[norah.livejournal.com]

*pssst* By writing me more of the genderfuck. Because yeah. Nnnnnguh.

I am even so insane? That if you wanted to make this an honest-to-god story? I would co-write with you, if you wanted. And, um, we could scrounge around and find a general plotline to serve as a weak framework for all the deadly hot sex. I haff references for co-writing. If you wanted. And I am totally bizzy and should not offer such things, but also so very in love with this idea, and you said you weren't going to, and my little heart BROKE INTO PIECES but I can't do it by myself either.

Um.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I haven't been ignoring this comment -- I've been turning it over in my head since you sent it. Because, yeah, my reluctance to write an actual story is definitely because I don't think I could pull it off, but cowriting would really minimize some of those issues, I think.

The other thing, of course, is that it would be a hell of a lot of work. So, hmmm, I am turning this around in my head. Right now it would be definitely no -- I'm about to go into midterms, and then I'm going to be crazy till the end of the term -- but maybe we can both come back and look in June and see if we're still interested?

[norah.livejournal.com]

That timeline would rock. Truly, much better for me. And we can trade snippets until then as the mood hits us. :)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Yay!

[china_shop]

I am so loving these... :)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

yay!

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

Just, y'know, in case you need further encouragement: ...guh.

And Fraser bites his lip, and after a minute he gets this thoughtful look on his face, and Ray narrows his eyes all suspiciously and says "What?"

And Fraser goes, "Well, it's not the same thing, of course, but we do have other options--"

This made me squee.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Hee. Yay, squee.

[cliosfolly.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't mind my friending you out of your genderfuck posts, but--gah! So fun, and so distracting! I read this one shortly before heading to a class on critical theory, in which we were discussing femininity as masquerade, and all I could think about (which made me totally useless for the discussion) was, yeah, girl-Ray as a masquerade, and dildo! All throughout class.

I'd love to see some interaction between Ray and Frannie. I have the feeling that he'd not at all appreciate her doing a chummy we're-both-girls-together thing with him.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, I never mind being friended! And, dude, I was totally daydreaming about girl-Ray all through my class this afternoon, too. Only, uh, in my case there really was very little connection between Ray and Cicero's theory of rhetoric.

[abelladonna.livejournal.com]

U love you both so much that there are no words for it.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heeee.