the very serious topic of wank-fic

[schmerica]

Topic of the day: masturbation fanfic.

On the one hand -- mmmmm, hot. Hello, quite satisfying kink.

But, dude. On the other hand? It seems like 90% of jack-off fic ends up depressing as fuck.

Which, okay. I can understand where the impulse comes from. Character A jacks off thinking about Character B ---> orgasms, yay ---> aftermath of alas for I do not have Character B and never shall. I've even written it on more than one occasion, I think (hi, Smallville!).

So, yes, I understand where that comes from; pairing angst forever. But I have to say -- and this is very likely TMI -- that my experience with post-masturbation thoughts tend to be much more in the "Orgasms are nice." category and not so much with the "WOE! Even this self-pleasure is unsatisfying, for I am truly alone!" Uh, but perhaps I'm alone with this.

(On a completely tangential note, I also am weirded out by the stories where Character A has the mental image of the other masturbating and silently promises themself that Character B won't ever have to jack off again, now that they have each other.)

Comments

[aerye.livejournal.com]

my experience with post-masturbation thoughts tend to be much more in the "Orgasms are nice." category

::g:: Mmm. Yes.

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Then there's always the classic voyeur masturbation story, in which character X watches character Y jack off, hears character Y moan character X's name at the pivotal moment and Whoo-hoo, Twue Wuv Revealed!

Personally, I've a small place in my kinky heart for the other voyeur masturbation story, where X and Y are together and X requests Y to auto-manipulate a bit for X's viewing pleasure :)

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

Personally, I've a small place in my kinky heart for the other voyeur masturbation story, where X and Y are together and X requests Y to auto-manipulate a bit for X's viewing pleasure :)
I so second that.

[philexos.livejournal.com]

and yet, it hardly ever happens. *sigh*

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

Very true and even when you THINK it's going to happen they never get around to it.

[philexos.livejournal.com]

It could just be your mind wandering into personal kink land, or wish fulfillment land. p.s. your icon is so working.

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Clearly we need to make a call for a "watching each other wank-off" challenge in the flashfic communities ;)

[norah.livejournal.com]

Am writing one right now for kink/cliche challenge, whaddaya know? Het, though.

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Oh you lucky duck! I got tricky weird options for my kick/cliche assignment and still have no idea what to do with them with only a week left til the due date.

Het? People still write het? ;)

!!

[philexos.livejournal.com]

Clearly! hehe

[norah.livejournal.com]

I have a LARGE place in my heart for that one!

But the whole "saying someone's name" thing - I dunno. Maybe I haven't seen enough of the population toss off, but I don't think most people talk at all when they're wanking, unless they're doing it as a performance. I mean, silence is part of the essence of how you learn to do it...in your parent's house, or a shared bedroom with a sibling, biting your lip to make sure your breath isn't too loud and hoping the rustling of the sheets doesn't give you away - it's not conducive to developing a talking habit. Maybe a muttered, "Fuck" at the crucial moment, but...names?

And WTF. There are stories where someone thinks their partner will never have to wank again? Poor deluded fucks. That's just...creepy.

[pandarus.livejournal.com]

Yes and yes and yes to all the above. Yes.

That is all.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Dude, seriously? You've never across the middle of the F/K sex scene where Ray suddenly realizes this is how Frasr masturbates all alone in his cot in the depressing closed consulate and swears to himself those days are over, now that he's here?

[norah.livejournal.com]

Maybe? But I thought it was more the "depressing" and "alone in the consulate" part that was over, more than the wanking...

[hungry-worm.livejournal.com]

It's not creepy, it's sad... nothing criminal in a wank here or there even if you're in a relationship. And the option to let watch should never be underestimated... :D

I can't help myself, but the whole name calling thing does nothing to me. I prefer the reduction to mindless garble... saying names reminds me too much of (a) orgasm fakers (for no reason, it just does), (b) professionals, (c) control freaks who insist on their name being called. Poo.

If it's a well written fic and it fits, it can work though. But yeah... the real origin is usually affiliated with silence as you said.

[gurrier.livejournal.com]

where X and Y are together and X requests Y to auto-manipulate a bit for X's viewing pleasure

Oh yeah, I'm a big fan of that one. Or of X just finding Y wanking.

The accidental revelation scenario does nothing for me, but deliberate revelation? Mmmm. resonant8's Subterfuge (http://trickster.org/res/subterfuge.html), for instance!

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

The accidental revelation scenario does nothing for me, but deliberate revelation? Mmmm. resonant8's Subterfuge, for instance!

Ditto that. I agree with makesmewannadie above that the whole crying out names while masturbating is both unlikely and a fairly cheap plot contrivance. But of course a genius writer like resonant8 will find a way to turn the hack on its ear and make in teh hawt ;)

[miriam-heddy.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that, even in a relationship, you sometimes want to be *alone* with yourself, y'know? Not because the other person's gone, or because the other person's busy, or because of whatever other angst-ridden scenario, but just *because*.

Nothing depressing about that.

But then again, so much of slash is based upon the very romantic notion that the other person will complete you so that you no longer feel alone, nor want to be alone.

And you also have so much of this written by *women*, who often aren't even introduced to the idea of masturbation until they are practically adults, and for whom masturbation continues to be associated with guilt, and with the idea that it's something you only have to do because you don't have someone else to have sex with.

I mean, if men were writing this wank-o-rama, the angst would, I suspect, be minimal and the pleasure, maximal. And masturbation wouldn't get nearly so linked-up with deferred gratification, but instead be gratification, period.

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

that my experience with post-masturbation thoughts tend to be much more in the "Orgasms are nice."

I would think thats what most people outside fanfiction think too.

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

Also I have the odd urge to make an icon with the text "Orgasms are nice" now.

I think I need help.

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Then I need help too, cuz I definately need that icon. In fact, I think the situation calls for a whole series of "Orgasms are nice" icons :D

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

*G* Now all we need is someone to make the icons.

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute, there's work involved here? Can't I just put out the idea and have all the folks who actually have some talent at icon making fall over themselves to make me pretty new icons? *g*

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

That's what I did. *G*

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Argh. Was compelled to make a couple of my own as well
http://www.livejournal.com/users/helleboredoll/28723.html

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

Bwahhaa the mind control is working!

...

Wait did I say that out loud?

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

No, you're not alone. My post-masturbation thoughts tend to be a very mellow "yay! orgasms! yay! masturbation" sort of line. So, yes, there really should be more of that out there in fic.

tangenital? plot

[philexos.livejournal.com]

okay, mind wandered there just for a minute, but. The tangential note plot, that's just... silly. My preferred jack-off fics occur while Character A is waiting for Character B to show up and 1) got bored waiting, 2) is too hot to wait, or 3) just wants to 'surprise' Character B. *oy*

Seriously. I agree. "Orgasms are nice" is the more realistic choice. Brooding can always er--come later.

[commodorified.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Have committed it once, helped commit it once, will likely do it again.

How's 'wanking cheefully while lying in bed tipsy and plotting a future seduction and having got rather too excited for sleep at said contemplation?'

I testify that said character's post-wank thoughts are pretty much restricted to "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............"

:-)