I AM POSSIBLY A LITTLE BORED

[schmerica]

HI LET'S PLAY A GAME. What I want: tell me about a few of your stories! Only I want to hear about your stories that sound really stupid or bad or painful when you actually write out the description. Does it sound like badfic? Mediocre? Weird? Tell me!

For example, in my category of "hey, I wrote that once!":

a) RayK and Fraser have grown old together! They've been together for like 30 years! There are puppies and canes and cookies! It's kidfic! Also, it's CHRISTMAS. And you guys think I'm not a total sap. (Here.)

b) See, there's breathplay? And then pancakes for breakfast, yay! (Here.)

c) Stories of cannibalism lead to SMOOCHES. (Here.)

d) SHUT UP FRANNIE/RAY VECCHIO INCEST MAKES PERFECT SENSE. (Here.)

What do you got? Seriously, I find stories in this category often fit into my favorite reading experiences by people. It all works in the end, no really!

Comments

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

I would do this, but so many of my stories are actually bad and don't need the help of pared-down descriptions to make them sound worse. Mostly I just try to forget about anything I didn't write in the last twelve months. *g*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Aww! This is not a game that's supposed to make people feel bad.

[starfishchick]

I love that cannibalism story!

I have this: Kyle Farnsworth is an idiot. In, um, three individual parts, so far.

Also, a guy goes to Sydney and gets lucky with a superstar. With incest! Kind of. (Spoilers for LOST S1.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I totally read "Sydney" as "Sydney Bristow the character from Alias" the first time through. Hee.

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

Um. I've got a plotbunny involving Kon being a ghost, and everyone but Cassie can see him because Ares is in charge of the dead now and doesn't want his champion being distracted yet, because he's got something he wants her to do first.

It involves Cassie/Kara, and then Cassie and Kara getting into a catfight when Cassie finds out Kara knew Kon's ghost was hanging around. And first Kon is like "No, guys, stop," but then he realizes that it's a superhero catfight, and he's just sad he doesn't have a body so he can fully appreciate the scene.

Possibly there's a Ghost-esque scene where Kon inhabits Kara's body so he and Cassie can have sex, but rather than sweet and romantic, it involves his going "THAT WAS SO FRIGGIN' AWESOME" afterwards, because sex with Cassie just got MORE awesome by virtue of there being another hot girl involved.

Um, yeah.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Your brain is such an awesome, special place, dude.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Frannie falls in love with a Canadian cop who looks like Fraser except he isn't! (http://isis.arithmancy.net/wwds.htm)

A character who appears briefly in one episode and doesn't even have a canonical name has sex with Frannie and Ray. Um, not at the same time. (http://isis.arithmancy.net/einszweidrei.htm)

Rocks The Earth falls into the sun and everybody dies. (http://isis.arithmancy.net/callthisworld.htm)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Um, not at the same time.

Hee, notes of clarification like that make it even BETTER.

[bravecows.livejournal.com]

omg this is the best game ever. So many (in fact, nearly all) of my stories sound perfectly appalling when written out in that way! Like omg once I wrote a story about a beautiful angel and a tweedily psychopathic demon and they were IN LOVE but it didn't work out because one of them was CRAZY IN THE HEAD so the angel had to kill his beloved it was tragic!1!

And once I wrote a story where Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin were wee British schoolboys and at first they hated each other and fought but at the end they made up and became BFF hooray!

And once I wrote a wee bit of a story which cast popular boyband *NSYNC as characters in The Little Prince. Justin was the rose!

[lorem_ipsum]

HI YOU WROTE THE ONE WHERE AZIRAPHALE WAS A DEMON, DIDN'T YOU? I LOVE THAT STORY WITH A CAPSLOCKY LOVE!

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Hee. Any one of my anime-fandom stories would have a summary that sounds like I'm certifiable or on really outstandingly bad drugs. And yet they're all canon-based.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Hee, the thing I was using in my head to compare this to was trying to describe soap opera plots, but yeah, anime summaries are even MORE.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Ray is Dr. Octopus! Sort of! And then he has tentacle sex in a hallway with Fraser! And then Diefenbaker and Welsh and General Fury save him, the END!

Ray is Noah! And Fraser is Mrs. Noah!

There's a stuffed moose. It makes Ray sad, but then he realizes he really loves Fraser and so he finishes his paperwork.

Angel needs therapy!

Danny makes bread and Casey's on a diet!

...Um. This exercise is making me very sad. All my stories turn out to be Ultimate Badfic Summary stories. I - I think I need to go away now.

*droops off*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

That should not make you sad at ALL. I love all those ds stories!

[zulu]

One time, there was this crossover where Fraser's Inuit stories totally convinced my OTP from another show that they should be together!

[mondschein1.livejournal.com]

A) Power Rangers CPD! (http://mondschein1.livejournal.com/10963.html") (As opposed to Power Rangers SPD! (http://tv.disney.go.com/jetix/powerrangers/index.html) And I am so, so, so sorry, but it just HAD TO BE DONE. Blame FOX for showing it on a Saturday morning.)

B)Subconscious male courtship rituals involving cheese! (http://community.livejournal.com/ds_flashfiction/401615.html)

C)So once upon a time? Geoffrey Tennant and Harding Welsh were totally the tightest partners there EVER WERE. (http://mondschein1.livejournal.com/65677.html)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

B)Subconscious male courtship rituals involving cheese!

Okay, you get the prize.

[svilleficrecs.livejournal.com]

Doctor Who: Eleven goes back in time (after Rose is long gone) to spy on Rose when she's 16, and ends up sleeping with her (http://svilleficrecs.livejournal.com/351463.html)

Doctor Who: He eats flower petals that were in her underwear and then they fuck on a bridge (http://svilleficrecs.livejournal.com/324403.html)

BSG: Apollo spanks Starbuck for being a naughty pilot. (http://www.fictabulous.com/discipline.php)

Over There: A nun, a soldier and a hand job (http://www.livejournal.com/users/svilleficrecs/121895.html)

[justbreathe80.livejournal.com]

A woman gets stood up, gets drunk, and inadventently has sex with a Mountie who is in love with her ex-husband. (http://justbreathe80.livejournal.com/62597.html)

Ray has a failed date and gets maudlin and drunk, then gets down and dirty with a guy who kind of looks like a lumberjack. (http://justbreathe80.livejournal.com/20336.html)

Fraser can't deal with his terrible history with women, and engages in inappropriate workplace behavior, before ironing his underpants and masturbating in a hotel room. (http://justbreathe80.livejournal.com/61091.html)

I'm sure there are more, but YAY that was fun! Anything can sound like badfic, huh? *g*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I do not think I can beat LUMBERJACK.

Also, dude, you know, one of my favorite of my own stories has Fraser masturbating in a hotel room bathroom! There's just something about him giving into his Ray yearning. Mmmmm.

[minim_calibre]

All of these are BtVS/AtS. I was going to fix my markup, but I FAILED to copy the post to my clipboard. WOES!

This one really needs the full ficathon request to be believed: Spike/Buffy talking dirty, and mucho purring from Spike. Fluff, smut, & or hilarity. No character death in this one. Spike can be souled or no soul, chipped or no chip, season doesn't matter much to me. Ooooooook?...These MUST be included somehow. An "Evil Dead" quote must be included.(movie- you can find TONS of quotes online) Spike in assless chaps. Willow make love to her double (Vamp Willow) while someone is singing "I kissed a girl." I also want mention of a Poison song, a guitar string and green M&Ms. Spike must purr. Spike must purr. Oh yeah, did I mention the fact that Spike MUST purr? good.

This one I used It's a sandwich of evil with a creamy Joyce filling! as my ACTUAL STORY NOTES.

The Beast listens to an old song and thinks of his lost love, Angelus. Songfic.

A one night stand with an ex-Watcher leaves the slayer unexpectedly expecting! How will they deal? Later, what happens when the single father discovers like mother, like daughter, and the past he fought so hard to escape closes in! (And, like I said in the deleted comment, Part II of this is, I think, the best thing I've ever written, but damn, it sounds like badfic.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I ... I think I'm afraid of every joining a ficathon ever again.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Um...
Cylon virgin!fic with breathplay.
Vampire snuff and incest.
CKR wall-slamming troubled teens for charity.
Paul Gross nearly has sex with Fraser, then loses him to Ray and likes that even better.
Turnbull makes a pass at Fraser and rubs his feet.
Dief tries to force Ray and Fraser to have sex.
RayK gets kidnapped in a hospital and given amnesia and he makes Fraser take his clothes off and then there's a totally random blow job.

The problem is, these are all completely straight summaries of those stories, and not funny at all. I lose!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Either that, or you WIN.

[brownbetty]

a) King Peter of Narnia gets freaky with a centaur! (here)

b) That time Jim Gordon had boobs! (here)

c) What if Matches Malone were real, and Bruce Wayne was made up? And what if he were a detective? And what if it was film noire? No wait, come back! (here)

d) Arranged Marriage AU that steals the plot from The Scarlet Pimpernel, with Batman playing the Pimpernel, and Diana as Marguerite St. Just. (here)

[brownbetty]

…and then there was the time I wrote the story of Superman saving a cat from a tree.

[ficbyzee.livejournal.com]

One time, Tim accidentally slept with Kon's clone when he meant to sleep with Kon. And then there was 14,000 words of cliche scenarios until they smooched again, and it ended with schmoop at a baseball game. here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/long.html)

One time, Tim had a Kon robot after the real Kon died, and um. It was really sad, okay? Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/off.html)

One time, Rodney punched out a marine for John's honor. Um. Yeah. Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/cuffs.html)

One time, Clark invited Kon out for coffee, and then molested him. Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/sky.html)

One time, Supergirl was flying around over Paris, and came across Steph who was magically back from the dead. There was banter. Later, they had sex!

One time, Rodney thought John was dead, and he was sad, but then it turned out John wasn't. Later, they had sex in the hospital until Carson kicked them out. Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/withinreach.html)

One time, Dick accidentally adopted the teenaged clone of dead Superman. Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/compass.html)

One time, Ephram discovered Bright giving another guy a blowjob in the high school locker room, and it made him realize that he was sekritly in love with Bright, or something, and then Bright asked him if he wanted a blowjob and he said yes. Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/homo.html)

One time, Tim and Kon were in Norway chasing a werewolf, and Tim was having nightmares about his dead predecessor, so Kon climbed into bed with him. Later they had sex. Here. (http://www.lovesetfire.com/zee/fic/third.html)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I love that you just went and gave me the plot for all of your stories!

One time, Bright smooched Ephram and then things were weird, so Bright made Ephram a sandwich. Then they smooched some more. THE END.

[china_shop]

Okay, so Vecchio? Is a drag queen, and Fraser finds out and then they have sex!
Fraser and RayK are having sex and there are puppies!
Fraser and Bob swap bodies and Ray is sad because he thinks Fraser doesn't love him anymore but it isn't really Fraser, it's Bob.
Thatcher sends Fraser to Canada to talk to a cheesemaker and he gets arrested on the way back into America, so he and Ray can't have sex until he's gotten out of prison (but they do talk on those visitor phone things with the glass).
RayV is pregnant and RayK is jealous of the baby.

This is disturbing. :-)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*giggles* And just think -- you didn't even do the fucking on Fraser's grave one!

[hammaboo.livejournal.com]

I have only written one fic that I posted where someone could see it and it didn't do well (as far as I know). It was an AU kind if thing where Joyce Summers (Buffy) met Missy Pantone (Bring It On). It's somewhere in my LJ, but I don't remember where.

[caiusmajor.livejournal.com]

Ollie and Dinah get zapped by a ray that causes them to switch outfits and think this is perfectly normal! The JLA is confused.

Jay, Alan, Barry, and Hal are on a picnic on an alien planet and there is sex pollen. This leads to yelling, and Barry is traumatized.

Batman as Matches Malone has sex with Plastic Man as Eel O'Brian in an alley while Plas has PROFOUND META THOUGHTS.

Guy Gardner has a baby girl by Lobo. This is reported in the newspaper.

Through some crossover event I didn't detail, Guy and Ultimate Captain America are having a fight scene, but the fic starts when it turns into a sex scene, because this totally makes sense, really.

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

Instead of being a cop, Ray makes PIZZA, and Fraser is still a Mountie and Vecchio is actually a mobster and all that stuff that happened in the show still happens. But with pizza. (http://members.tripod.com/happyfriendbox/pizzaAUsplash.html)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

PIZZA!!!

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

OMG, like Rogue is in love with Logan, but he doesn't even see her, and she starts sleeping around and then she goes CRAZY and KILLS JEAN and Logan has to take care of her then forever and ever.

So Rogue ran away from the mansion and because a stripper to put herself through college after she accidentally killed someone with her skin. It turns out Logan gets a job as a bouncer in the strip club where she works!

Rogue runs away from home and becomes a hooker and Logan is an assassin and he hires her and they fall in love.

Simon and River pretend to be married and River wants them to actually be married and Simon doesn't, but then he does, because he has a different name so it's not like it's incest anymore...

So Sirius comes back from the dead, but Remus is married to Tonks, but Sirius doesn't care. He tries to win Remus back, and Tonks catches them in bed together, but then Remus is mean to him, so he stops hanging around, and then he and Tonks have a fight, and it's all sad, 'cause Sirius came back from the dead and his boyfriend won't leave his wife for him.

So River has a crush on Mal? And Inara tells Mal about it, so he tries to, like, totally be cool about it, to discourage her? 'cause she's a teenager and, you know, crazy, but he kinda likes River back, even though everybody thinks he likes Inara, and Inara does too, but then Inara catches Mal and River kissing and she throws stuff at Mal.