canadians are pretty

[schmerica]

brooklinegirl's fault. Really, do I even need to say that anymore? We were discussing this picture this morning, and somehow the idea for this came out of it. Yeah, I don't know either.

*****

Curtis and Newbie were sitting on the couch when Hope got home from work.

"Hi, guys," Hope said.

Curtis grunted towards her. Newbie whipped his head away from the TV and stood up really quickly, almost tripping over himself.

"Hope. Hi. You, uh, need help with that?"

"No, I'm fine," Hope said, but Newbie followed her into the kitchen anyway.

Hope glanced over at him as she put away the groceries. Newbie was standing at the edge of the doorframe, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet and staring at her with a weird expression on his face.

"Are you okay, Newbie?"

Newbie's eyes widened. "Oh, yeah, I'm good. And you -- jeez, your hair, it looks really nice today."

"Well, thank you." She gave him a smile as she put the milk in the fridge. Newbie smiled back at her, even wider, and then started making a weird face, twitching a little and doing something with his eyebrows.

"Is there something wrong with your face?" Hope said after a moment, and Newbie looked confused.

"I was just--" He made a gesture, then jammed his hands back in his pockets. "Uh, you really do look nice. Like, that sweater. I mean. Wow."

"Thanks," Hope said again, a little more warily.

"No, I really mean it. Because, uh--" Newbie made a vague but enthusiastic cupping motion at the level of his chest. "Nice."

Hope slammed the fridge door shut suddenly and turned to face Newbie. "Can you excuse me? I need to go talk to Curtis for a minute."

"Sure," said Newbie. He did the twitchy eyebrow thing again.

Curtis was still watching TV.

"I need to talk to you," Hope said.

"Shhhh," said Curtis. "I'm watching this."

Hope sat down on the arm of the couch, crossed her arms and waited for the commercials. When they came on, she turned back to Curtis.

"Curtis?"

"Yeah?" Curtis's eyes didn't leave the television screen.

"Look at me."

Curtis did.

"Did you do something to Newbie?"

"No."

"Curtis."

"Well."

Hope sighed.

"He just ... came over. And we were watching TV." Curtis scratched his nose with his thumb.

"And then?" Hope prodded.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything to him," Curtis protested. His head was slowly turning back to the TV, where fast food commercials were now playing. "I just said he could sleep with us."

Hope stared at him, speechless, for a long moment. "You did what?"

"Oh, you know. They were talking about threesomes on Rex Reilly, and it came up..." Curtis shrugged.

Hope continued to stare at the side of Curtis's head. "You told Newbie I would sleep with both of you?"

Curtis glanced at her. "Not *just* you. Jeez, Hope, you might want to get someone to look at that ego of yours."

"You didn't think of *asking* me first? Before promising sex to your friends?" Hope could hear her voice getting louder.

"Nooooo," Curtis said slowly -- he was looking at her like she was being completely insane. "I thought you liked Newbie."

"I do like Newbie!" Hope said, and then lowered her voice to a whisper, remembering he was still in the kitchen. "That's not the point!"

Curtis let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes. "Well, what *is* your point, then?"

Hope restrained the urge to smack him. She stood up from the couch. "I'm going to my room."

"Sure," said Curtis vaguely; the commercials had ended.

When she reached her room, Hope yelled down the hallway, "Newbie! Go home!" Newbie might have said something in response, but Hope was busy slamming her door.

Comments

[umbo.livejournal.com]

Omigod that is *perfect*. Seriously, that's the show, the voices, *perfection*.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you!