Let's talk about porn!

[schmerica]

So justbreathe80 had a really interesting post about writing porn yesterday, and it's got me thinking. One of the things she mentioned was the importance of word choice -- because, yeah, there are some words that are Just Not Sexy, and if your goal is to be writing something hot, maybe you should think twice about using them.

And the thing is, I agree with that in general principle, but not completely. Because the thing is, I think there are times when the judicious use of otherwise completely unsexy words in your smut CAN be amazingly hot, or effective, or just RIGHT. It all depends on the context and the characters. Sometimes the overly crude term or the overly clinical term, which is a complete turn off on its own, just WORKS in your story. And, oh man, when that happens? There are seriously few things I love more, because it just feels right.

Okay, so I just looked through my stories for example of what I mean. Obviously these are all totally matters of opinion, because isn't porn always?, and possibly totally turn off everyone else who reads them. But these are actually all bits of writing I actually really like, and the contrast and unexpectedness and character-specificity is part of that.

*****

Billy said, "Don't get jizz on my sweater--" It was the only one he had left without any holes or big stains; the last thing he needed to deal with was Joe's come.

"Should I aim for your face instead?" Joe grunted out, but he actually listened for once, pointing away at the last minute to shoot his wad onto the mattress.

[From here.]

*****

Most of the time we stay on the couch. Vecchio's always hard when I reach for him, and we've done it enough now that I can get his pants open real easy, push him back against cushions and kneel down between his legs and suck his cock. The first time we did it I screwed up at the end and ended up with his jizz all over my face, which was really fucking uncomfortable, let me tell you, but Vecchio made it up that time with a blowjob of his own. He still does that sometimes, but a lot of the time he'll just drag me up from the floor, sit me there between this legs, wrap his other arm around my stomach and jerk me off like that, leaning his head forward on my shoulder to watch his hand on my dick. I watch it, too, and it never takes very long when he does it that way.

[From here.]

*****

You shook your head, and said, almost resignedly, "Oh, *jesus*, Fraser," and then I felt your hand wrap around my erection.

I hissed in a breath through my teeth and you smiled at me, a little crookedly, and then you lowered your face to my groin. After a moment I felt your tongue, wet and gentle at the head of my penis.

I said your name and closed my eyes and groped desperately around, needing to feel you as you took me in.

[From here.]

*****

I'm not even giving a sample from this one, because the entire story is Fraser and Ray having dirty, dirty, dirty public alley sex from Fraser's POV. He uses solely words along the lines of penis, groin, semen, orgasm, climax, and erection. It's still one of the pieces of porn I've written that I find most arousing myself.

http://pearlo.illuminatedtext.com/fiction/old.htm

*****

Or, using other people's stuff for a moment, I know that some of the stuff that stays hottest in my mind, remembering things later, can be stuff that isn't intrinsically sexy on its own. I wouldn't not have guessed Fraser using the word "ejaculate" could be amazingly hot, but then I read kassrachel's In Uniform, and oh my GOD.

This is the point in the entry where I should make a conclusion and reveal my point, isn't it? But I have lost track of what it is. I guess that while I understand how certain words can be automatic turn-offs for others, for me it really is all about context. In the right situation, almost ANYTHING can work.

Comments

[bohemian--storm.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with the Joe and Billy thing. I may be a big enough dork that I RP Joe and whenever I've written porn with him, I never find myself worrying about words because Joe could think practically anything and it'd work for him because he just doesn't care. It makes writing it a lot easier, anyway. :D

[celli]

Dude, I'm supposed to be doing taxes. Stop torturing me with beautifully in-character porn.

*weeps*

[shoemaster.livejournal.com]

I kind of adore Fraser's use of clinical terms. And then when he busts out one like 'cock' and feels a thrill at using it, or gets a reaction from Ray? Nnnnngh.

Totally agree on Joe/Billy being super gross. It's because they are boys and never stopped being teenagers.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I am so happy that you like that little piece of flashfiction -- that you remember it well enough to seek it out and link to it! I can't even remember when I wrote that, anymore; it's been years. But I still love it, so I'm glad you do, too.

:-)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

But it's so much more fun than taxes!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*giggles* See, I do have to worry about the words occasionally, just because I think he would go to the cruder stuff than I would.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

God, they ARE such boys. Gross, dirty, dirty boys. <3

About Fraser's vocabulary, I was talking in jb80's journal about how I could see something like "Fraser loves the smooth, hard flesh of Ray's penis, and there's nothing he likes more than the taste of Ray's ejaculate in his mouth!" Hee.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Your flashfiction is just full of gems like this, man: they have given me so much enjoyment over the years!

[bohemian--storm.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, I wonder if it says something about me that I go for those words first...

[brynnmck.livejournal.com]

OK, first, I agree with all of this, and secondly, I had not read that HCL fic of yours, and I adored it. It's a pretty commonplace scenario, but you do fabulous things with it; all the complex push-pull, need-fear dynamics of their relationship are there, but it's so subtly done, and all the more powerful for that. Really excellent.

[china_shop]

Oh, great examples! Mmmmm...

And yeah, with Fraser the more anatomical words work fine (I tend to prefer "erection" to "penis", but either works), but there's a limit: porn that mentions frenulums and glans and stuff to that level of detail makes me want to hide. I can't read it.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, thank you so much! I find HCL really, really intimidating and scary to write, actually, but sometimes I can't resist.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Fair enough! I have to admit I get weirded out occasionally when they start talking too much about "the gland" in reference to the prostate.

word ban

[(Anonymous)]

hi there!

i usually just post in response to your fics (which i love), but this post hit a chord, because there is a word i would like banned from fic, no exceptions. that word is "ministrations," (dude, i even hated typing it right there). i re-encountered it recently in some older (circa 1999) fanfic, and it is an instant buzzkill. i do think it is more endemic to older writing, but hey, if we don't learn from history we are doomed to repeat it.

two things about this: 1). the fandom i was reading was NOT ds, (just so noone gets paranoid that the comment is in anyway pointed. it is NOT a jab at any person's particular writing, or at least noone that would be reading this); 2). i can't read jb80's original post, so perhaps this whole thing is off topic, but it's what came to mind when i read your post. obviously i needed to vent about that fucking word.

thanks, and yay that you're writing again! -- tally

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

You are SO RIGHT.

Also, how great to illustrate your point with links to your fic. I reread "Old News"--which is guh!--so hot, and also wonderful in every other way.

This line especially blew me away:

It was astonishing, watching him -- so open, so willing -- in public, in front of Fraser -- all of him before the world. Fraser couldn't tear his eyes away.

He held Ray's head close against his leg and murmured, "Oh, Ray, you're amazing--"

Oddly, I find that the hottest line: "all of him before the world."

Oh, Ray. Not only--not even mostly--that he's physically exposed. It's the emotional exposure that gets to me. Wow.