(boys. *smooshes*)
3/7/07 12:07![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
schmerica+ Teenage Vecchio being a protective older brother and shielding his sisters from the worst parts of his Pop; stepping up to be man of the house; giving up on Irene for responsibilities and family.
+ He's also a really adorable uncle. <3
+ The secret history of seasons 3 and 4 where Fraser and Kowalski are slowly flirting through most of season 3, hook up for the first time late in the season, and completely fail to deal with it (so all that tension and weirdness contributes to Mountie on the Bounty). Season 4 they are buddies again and spend the entire season slowly circling each other until they get their happily ever after in Call of the Wild.
+ When Fraser is bisexual, and knows it, and has pretty much forever.
+ Ray Kowalski has more than one tattoo.
+ Fraser's mom spoke French.
+ The time when he was 13 and shot the caribou and the time with the goldmine and the boomerang weren't the only times Fraser ran away from home.
+ Ray Kowalski was raised Catholic, never went to mass again after he left home, and married Stella in a big fancy rich intimidating classy Protestant church.
+ Vecchio is almost entirely het, and a good lover, and he genuinely likes women. (The almost entirely bit because he probably was in love with Fraser in s1 and 2 and just didn't realize it.)
+ He's also a really adorable uncle. <3
+ The secret history of seasons 3 and 4 where Fraser and Kowalski are slowly flirting through most of season 3, hook up for the first time late in the season, and completely fail to deal with it (so all that tension and weirdness contributes to Mountie on the Bounty). Season 4 they are buddies again and spend the entire season slowly circling each other until they get their happily ever after in Call of the Wild.
+ When Fraser is bisexual, and knows it, and has pretty much forever.
+ Ray Kowalski has more than one tattoo.
+ Fraser's mom spoke French.
+ The time when he was 13 and shot the caribou and the time with the goldmine and the boomerang weren't the only times Fraser ran away from home.
+ Ray Kowalski was raised Catholic, never went to mass again after he left home, and married Stella in a big fancy rich intimidating classy Protestant church.
+ Vecchio is almost entirely het, and a good lover, and he genuinely likes women. (The almost entirely bit because he probably was in love with Fraser in s1 and 2 and just didn't realize it.)
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(no subject)
3/7/07 20:04 (UTC)WHAT DO YOU MEAN SECRET??
(no subject)
3/7/07 21:07 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/07 21:22 (UTC)*wink wink nudge nudge say no more etc.*
(no subject)
4/7/07 02:41 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/07 20:18 (UTC)Are you sure this isn't canon? Because how could he not be, not know, not believe that it's something so essential to who he is that everyone can see it on his skin like a brand?
Isn't that why he's so drawn to Ray Kowalski, because for once he can see this on someone else?
+ Ray Kowalski has more than one tattoo.
He does. One of them is on his hip, low enough that when Fraser runs his thumb across it, he has to bend his wrist at a strange angle. It aches after a while, but he does it anyway because he's addicted to the look on Ray's face. It's something they share, Ray's tattoo, something they keep for themselves. Something private, unlike the ink on his arm and the piece on his calf.
+ Fraser's mom spoke French.
She did, but Bob never learned it. When Fraser was very young, it was their secret language, the one he used to ask questions and tells stories. The one she used when she tucked him in at night.
(no subject)
3/7/07 21:17 (UTC)Isn't that why he's so drawn to Ray Kowalski, because for once he can see this on someone else?
It's interesting: I love that version of RayK, too, but I also love it when Ray is not as in tune with his sexuality, when the realization comes to him that, oh, yeah, I've *always* been that way and I'm only realizing it now.
Fraser, though. Fraser's always known.
It's something they share, Ray's tattoo, something they keep for themselves. Something private, unlike the ink on his arm and the piece on his calf.
This makes me sigh dreamily.
(Whenever I think about Fraser and Ray's tattoos I go back to Fraser's talking about tattoos in the Promise, when he goes on about how they're works of art, this meaningful self-expression. Sigh.)
She did, but Bob never learned it. When Fraser was very young, it was their secret language, the one he used to ask questions and tells stories. The one she used when she tucked him in at night.
OH GOD SO MUCH YES. God, that is canon-in-my-head so so so much. She read him The Little Prince and called him little dorky French loving nicknames. And after she died he went and stayed with his grandparents, and everything was English-speaking and formal. And he learned French later for government work, of course, but it's still in the back of his mind as the fuzzy loving thing of his early childhood.
(no subject)
3/7/07 21:26 (UTC)I was sort of leaving out whether Ray knows. It's not so much that Ray can see it, see his own nature, as that Fraser senses something. That Ray will understand, somehow, and accept in a way that few people do. That Ray won't let who Fraser is, who he wants, interfere with their...duet.
This doesn't require that Ray know who he wants. It just means that Ray will understand who Fraser wants.
After all, Fraser's considerably more self-aware than Ray. At least about this.
Fraser's talking about tattoos in the Promise, when he goes on about how they're works of art, this meaningful self-expression.
God, yes. That's the whole reason that in my own personal canon, Fraser has a tattoo of some sort. Not anywhere that he needs to show anyone, not anything that's meaningful on first glance. But he needed *something* to demarcate the past and the future, something that was his own and that was a symbol of everything he carried with him. Something that hurt, something that left a mark.
He knows that it isn't rational, but he did it anyway. And he never shows anyone, although he wants to show Ray. Maybe. He hasn't decided yet.
And he learned French later for government work, of course, but it's still in the back of his mind as the fuzzy loving thing of his early childhood.
And deep down, he hates that he has to use it for Consular affairs. Because that layers duty and necessity over his childhood, makes it harder to remember the way she looked. Bad enough that he long ago forgot the sound of her voice.
(no subject)
3/7/07 21:32 (UTC)Oh, I see, and yes, that's lovely. I can see that, the nature of Ray's understanding, of Ray's *knowledge* -- Ray can see Fraser, see who he is, and it will always be all right.
I *love* your personal canon about Fraser's tattoo. Something small and subtle and private, yes. After Victoria, do you think? Or earlier?
And deep down, he hates that he has to use it for Consular affairs. Because that layers duty and necessity over his childhood, makes it harder to remember the way she looked. Bad enough that he long ago forgot the sound of her voice.
Right! He can't just keep the entire language locked up as something private and special in his memory. For the most part it's just another normal thing, which feels like something lost.
(no subject)
3/7/07 23:16 (UTC)Yes. That's it, exactly. Even when they aren't clicking, at the very worst bits of their partnership, Ray can still *see* Fraser. And he won't let him slide, can't let him get away with hiding. Because it doesn't work like that.
After Victoria, do you think? Or earlier?
After Victoria, not because he didn't want one sooner, but because that's really it, really an ending.
In my head, he waits until he's home that last time before Vecchio leaves. He doesn't want it done in Chicago, because it's all about exile and acceptance and it has to come from the same place he does.
Plus, he knows that he's a familiar face in Chicago. Fraser isn't blind, and if he wants it to be something hidden then it has to be something he brings back from Canada.
And when he gets it, the tattoo is all about loss and Victoria and innocence thrown away. But that first time he meets RayK, the moment when he realizes that he's lost Vecchio, too, it blooms into something bigger, hot like blood and friendship and things he can't ever have.
That's why he doesn't tell RayK about it, lets him discover it for himself. Because he can't explain what it means until Ray understands that no matter what, the partnership they have means more.
That Ray Kowalski also has a tattoo seems like a sign. That he's so willing to show it to people just illustrates the differences between them.
For the most part it's just another normal thing, which feels like something lost.
And it *is* something lost. One more thing, and he'd like to be angry, to hold that fury tight and use it, but that's not the way he's made.
Ray is anger. Fraser's just regret.
(no subject)
3/7/07 23:39 (UTC)Ray is anger. Fraser's just regret.
Right, and one of the things about that is that the anger can burn off sometimes for a little while, but the regret is *always* there.
Siiiiiiiigh. Wee Fraser being tucked into bed while his mother sings him quiet French lullaby.
(no subject)
4/7/07 01:09 (UTC)They are *utterly* amazing, in the sense that there's always something more to it. And I seem to be at my thinkiest in your comments, for whatever reason. I think you give good things to talk about, and it makes people think harder about what they assume.
but the regret is *always* there.
*nods*
And he thought, maybe, that when his father left he'd get the chance to hear her voice again, remember to keep it close this time. He's disappointed when she doesn't speak, and it makes him fear (for the millionth time) that they're both just memories and imagination.
(no subject)
4/7/07 02:45 (UTC)(no subject)
4/7/07 14:44 (UTC)Because in my head, the reason she doesn't say anything in the mine shaft is that he can't remember her voice. All he can remember is the feeling of her hand, stroking his cheek when he was upset, when he thought the world was ending.
(no subject)
4/7/07 07:57 (UTC)(no subject)
4/7/07 14:45 (UTC)Now if I could just figure out a way to force myself to turn them into actual stories, I'd be all set.
(no subject)
4/7/07 17:41 (UTC)Now you know the problem with *my* brain! Heh.
and the first place I went with this was...
4/7/07 04:25 (UTC)Oh, and and and...if/when he and Ray are raising a small child of their own, Fraser will speak French to him/her, automatically, without thought or conscious effort. Because of *course* that is how you express love and security and comfort to the wee one you love. And Ray will witness this the first time and he'll look at Fraser's face and he'll *get* it -- grasp something about the essence of it. And later he'll ask Fraser if his mom spoke French. And maybe Fraser will look into Ray's eyes and understand instantly and revel in the joy of *being known*. Or maybe Fraser will quote some facts and figures about bilingualism in Canada and Ray will gently break into the impromptu lesson, saying, "No, Fraser. Did your mom speak French...to *you* when you were a kid?"
Re: and the first place I went with this was...
4/7/07 14:49 (UTC)This one, I think. And Ray won't have to say anything, won't ask, and Fraser won't explain. But when he comes home from patrol the next time, there will be a pile of French textbooks scattered under Ray's side of the bed.
They won't talk about it, and Ray's accent will always be terrible, but he'll keep trying. And when they go back to visit, they'll have whole conversations that no one can understand--not because they want to exclude anyone, but because it'll be a piece of home that they carry with them.
Re: and the first place I went with this was...
4/7/07 17:40 (UTC)Re: and the first place I went with this was...
4/7/07 17:37 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/07 20:25 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/07 21:18 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/07 22:37 (UTC)I've been rewatching the whole series in order, and I just finished s2 and started s3 a couple of days ago. And I was watching BDtH, and had this brief, entirely self-contained Ray War, because Vecchio is SO AWESOME but then again Kowalski is SO INTERESTINGLY TENSE WITH FRASER and.
Of course, then I remembered FKV and moved happily on, but that's not the point of the story. :-P
(no subject)
3/7/07 23:33 (UTC)OMG, self-contained Ray War sounds so stressful! I am glad you got through it unharmed.
(no subject)
3/7/07 23:20 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/07 23:31 (UTC)(no subject)
4/7/07 04:57 (UTC)And it's so great to see you posting thinky-wonderful things about DS (and especially F/K) again! Yay!
(no subject)
4/7/07 17:41 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/08 22:28 (UTC)(no subject)
3/7/08 22:40 (UTC)not sosneakily*oh, BOYS. I've just worked my way through s3 and 4 Due South due to Canadian!Flatmate's prodding, and am completely head over heels for RayK and the RayK/Fraser sekrit!flirty!tension. Gah. *flails happily* and now I am playing RayK in an RPG. *facepalms* FANDOM TAKES OVER MY BRAAAAAAIN.