EATCHURFACE

[schmerica]

I just spent my whole evening reading incredibly unsatisfying Waycest. Why do you hafta be that way, fandom!? Haven't I always been good to you? Don't I treat you nice? Why you gotta make me cry?

SIGH.

Here, have one more haiku:

Haiku2 for pearl_o
goofy drunk babies frank will eat your face don't test him gerard honey
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Created by Grahame

Comments

[blondiusmaximus.livejournal.com]

That haiku is EPIC.




By which I mean it made me literally, like, cry laughing. FRANK WILL EAT YOUR FACE. DON'T TEST HIM, GERARD, HONEY.


GOOFY DRUNK BABIES = FRANK/GERARD'S CURTAIN!FIC DOMESTIC SAPPY LOVE IN A NUTSHELL, YES. I can just HEAR Frank saying it. "Babe, I swear, if you buy the blue bowls from Target instead of the white and green patterned ones I will eat your face off. >:("

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

FRANK WILL EAT YOUR FACE. DON'T TEST HIM, GERARD, HONEY.

Years later, Gerard will remember [someone] hugging him and whispering in his ear, when he and Frank first announced they were moving in together. At the time it was hilarious. It was months before Gerard truly understood that this was the best advice he had ever received.

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

Unsatisfying Waycest is the WORST THING EVER, y/y?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Not the worst EVER, quite -- there's not enough gratuitous rape or character bashing for that (I wasn't reading badfic, just .... not good fic). But it is tragic nonetheless!

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

I am always intensely saddened when I spend a long time (2000+ words) waiting for the good, hurty-awesome payoff and they just... Never get there. It is its own kind of heartbreak. :/

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I have weirdly specific-yet-indefinable tastes in it, too, which is really frustrating for a rare pairing.

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

Oh, totally. This is perhaps why I write so goddamn much of it. There is not enough to read otherwise. /o\

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

now I'm thinking about Frank turning into a five-year-old physically, getting shitfaced, and then attempting to eat Gerard's face.

\o/

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHHA. BABY FRANK GETS CRANKY WHEN YOU TAKE AWAY HIS BEER. >:(

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

HE JUST HAD ONE BEER SHUT THE FUCK UP GERARD YOU'D WANT TO GET DRUNK TOO

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

GERARD IS LIKE NO. AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY COKE ZERO EITHER I DON'T THINK THE CHEMICALS ARE GOOD FOR YOU.

FRANK: *SEETHES ADORABLY AND PLOTS HIS REVENGE*

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

I THINK HE'D GO AROUND STICKING HIS FACE IN EVERYONE'S CROTCH JUST BECAUSE HE COULD

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

IMAGINE ALL THE JOKES ABOUT PEOPLE NOT NOTICING THE CHANGE BECAUSE HE IS STILL THE SAME SIZE

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

HE WOULD TRY TO KILL THEM BUT WOULD WIND UP BITING THEIR KNEES INSTEAD

ALICIA VISITS PURELY TO LAUGH AND TELL MIKEY HE STARTED THE WHOLE KIDS THING A LITTLE SOONER THAN EXPECTED

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

BOB ACTUALLY LIKES HIM BETTER THIS WAY

HE CARRIES HIM AROUND JUST AS MUCH BUT IT'S WAY EASIER ON HIS BACK

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

BRIAN IS JUST LIKE IF YOU TRY TO BLOW ANYONE LIKE THIS I WILL END YOU

SO FRANK SPENDS A LOT OF TIME LEERING AT HIM CREEPILY

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

(http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y159/pearlo/band/?action=view&current=mcr46.jpg)

*WIGGLES EYEBROWS SIGNIFICANTLY*

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

I LOVE HOW HE CANONICALLY LOOKS LIKE PEDOBAIT

"COME ON, BRIAN, YOU KNOW YOU WANNA HIT THIS!"

BRIAN CRIES IN GERARD'S ARMS A LOT THAT WEEK

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA FRANK-IN-BODY-OF-CHILD BEING THE PLOT DEVICE TO GET GERARD AND BRIAN TOGETHER = FULL OF INFINITE WIN. INFINITE I TELL YOU.

THE MORNING AFTER THEY SLEEP TOGETHER THE FIRST TIME FRANK IS LIKE DUDE, YOU GUYS OWE ME SO MUCH ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKERS.

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

IT SEEMED THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION!

HE SAYS THIS WHILE SITTING ON TOP OF THEM IN BED AT FIVE A.M., BOUNCING TRIUMPHANTLY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT FIVE YEAR OLDS DO! SUCK IT UP, BRIAN!

[mercurybard.livejournal.com]

HE SAYS THIS WHILE SITTING ON TOP OF THEM IN BED AT FIVE A.M.
And Brian freaks out because a child (okay, he knows there's a twenty-something Frank-brain in there, but he seriously LOOKS LIKE A KID) has seen his peen and he's going to get arrested for indecent exposure and thrown in jail and who is going to the cops out of arresting Bob the next time Bob decides to TP Times Square?

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

POOR BRIAN. Gerard says the sentence "You're not a pedophile" so much it winds up being almost automatic.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAH. BRIAN: ....I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO SAY THAT! I WAS GOING TO ASK WHAT MOVIE YOU WANTED TO WATCH ON TV TONIGHT!

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

GERARD: OH, OKAY. HOW ABOUT THAT LOLITA DOCUMENTARY?

BRIAN: [HORRIFIED SILENCE]

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

BRIAN IS LIKE MAYBE IF YOU WENT AWAY WE COULD FUCK AGAIN AND GIVE YOU DOUBLE ICE CREAM

AND GERARD IS LIKE DUDE, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF A KID

AND FRANK IS LIKE I LIKE THE WAY YOUR MIND WORKS BUT CAN YOU GET DOWN THE POPTARTS FROM THE HIGH SHELF FIRST?

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

THEY FUCK AND WALK OUT AND FRANK IS DOING HIS LEVEL BEST TO CLIMB THE WALLS

BRIAN FLIPS OUT BECAUSE WTF MIKEY, YOU GAVE FRANK RED BULL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

BUT MIKEY SAYS IT WASN'T HIM AND THAT'S HOW BRIAN DISCOVERS THAT PETE WENTZ IS KIND OF A CRAP BABYSITTER

[soundslikej.livejournal.com]

You guys are my favorites. <3<3<3<3

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

...could five year old Frank even REACH?

(what am I saying. it's FRANK. he'd find somethingone to climb. STILL.)

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

HMMMM. excellent question! maybe he'd jump, trying, and accidentally headbutt people in the balls a lot.

[shihadchick.livejournal.com]

And it's not as if there's not excellent precedent for THAT either!

(Oh, Tiny!Frank. How so awesome even when tinier?)

...OMG. Ten bucks says someone would want to use him as a cake decoration. *imagines*

[jezrana.livejournal.com]

I am crying with laughter at the haiku. This is at least in part because I'm in a high-strung-yet-giggly mood and need to go to bed, but.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I am considering changing my name, to tell you the truth, but I'm not sure to which part.

[mercurybard.livejournal.com]

I just spent my whole evening reading incredibly unsatisfying Waycest
And I am reading deliciously bad bad!fic!

I love your haiku.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. I have spent many an evening in the same pursuit!

[mercurybard.livejournal.com]

The haiku generator hates me. Either that or is completely bamboozled by my journal and cannot make anything approaching a coherent haiku out of my entries.

[neery.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, oh Gerard. He really should know better by now!

on he said quickly
tightening his arms around
pete pete knew what he

Not a good haiku structure, but or some reason, this one feels like the end of an epic AU to me, with Mikey and Pete literally riding off into the sunset together at the end. I thought I got over the girly horse obsession years ago, but "on," he said and quickly tightening his arms around Pete still gave me such a powerful image of two people pressed up close on one horse that it took me three reads to notice that actually, riding is mentioned nowhere in that haiku.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. I am a sucker for ANY suggestion of Pete/Mikey AUness. <3

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

Aww, unsatisfying Waycest? I'm sorry :( *pats*

Have you read this little bit of Ways as the Demolition Lovers (http://nilyn.livejournal.com/5906.html)? I rather enjoyed it!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I haven't read it yet! *bookmarks*

[turps33.livejournal.com]

I agree, there needs to be more good Waycest stories posted. I have woe at the lack of them.

There also needs to be more Frank face eating stories, I'm just saying.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I have so many pictures that represent Frank about to eat someone's face, too. It's appropriate!

[spilltoblue.livejournal.com]

I too find myself perpetually unsatisfied by the Waycest available. There's very little goodfic, and even the badfic isn't GOOD badfic. It's just bad. More often than not, I give up and just go reread some Waycest RP a friend and I did in the past. :/ *sighs dramatically*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH. The amount people refer to it you would expect so uch more!