prison for jerks

I have nothing to say, besides I lol'd!

But I'm so motherfucking bored so I'm going to reply to all of your spams with uselessness.

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YAAAAAAAAAAAY. That is the reason you are one of my favorites.

Tell me a story for me to read when I get back from my next round of reading!

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Once upon a time, there were two boys who were playing in a yard in Jersey. "Ma!" one of the boys called, "We're going hunting for unicorns!"

"There's no unicorns in Jersey, Mikey," their mother called back.

Mikey looked at his brother and frowned. Maybe. His face sort of shifted, anyways. "We'll find unicorns," his brother assured him. "Come on, let's go look."

So Mikey took Gerard's hand and they walked off down the street, down the corner, and over crosswalks in search of unicorns. "How will we know how to get back?" Mikey asked. as they waited at one stoplight.

Gerard thought about it, and then answered. "We're leaving a trail of stinkiness, Mikey. We just have to follow our nose when we want to go home!"

This seemed perfectly reasonable to Mikey, and so they continued on their journey. They wandered pretty far across their little New Jersey town before Mikey stopped dead and whispered, "Unicorn!"

But it wasn't a unicorn. It was a Frank, with bunny ears, a plaid shirt, and gym shorts. "That doesn't match," Gerard informed him.

"Your face doesn't match. Where are we going?" Frank asked.

Gerard started to explain, but Mikey interrupted, "Light!" and so Frank fell into step and they carried on.

They walked across a highway, cheerfully oblivious to the honking and cursing of the drivers swerving to avoid them. Just barely over the guardrail, Mikey stopped and pointed, "Unicorn!"

But it wasn't a unicorn. It was a Ray, with spectacularly bushy hair, and a guitar strapped to his back. "Hey guys," he greeted them, and without any other comment, he joined the procession.

Down by the river, they sailed by two homeless men, one bank robber, a possible dead body, and a drug deal, when Mikey again lifted his finger and said, "Unicorn!"

But it wasn't a unicorn. It was a Bob with pretty yellow ladyhair, and a bandana tied around his forehead. Frank jumped on his back and said, "Carry me!" And so Bob did.

It started to get late, and Bob started making unhappy noises about all the walking they were doing. Gerard didn't want to let Mikey down though, so he kept them walking, until Mikey again squealed happily, "Unicorn!"

But it wasn't a unicorn. It was a house. A house covered with drawings of superheroes and skulls, and various other badasses. A light flickered from deep inside the house, and they crept closer.

"This is a bad idea," Ray said, and stuck close to Mikey's side. Gerard's eyes were transfixed by a man with laser eyes and a sombrero.

"Come on," he said. "I just want to grab that drawing, and we can go." He tiptoed up close to the house and carefully reached up and tugged the drawing free.

Suddenly the door flew open, and a figure emerged. "It's a witch!" Mikey screeched and hit the ground. Bob looked around for something he could use as nunchucks.

But it wasn't a witch. It was a Brian. "You're all morons," Brian said and sprayed them with Febreeze.

"Brian!" Gerard whined, still clutching the drawing in his fingers. "How the fuck are we supposed to follow our trail home now?"

"I have a car," Brian sighed. His life was really hard. But everyone piled in, and they stopped and got pizza on the way home. Before they left, Ray snagged a drawing from the house, and waited until he was about to get dropped off before he handed it to Mikey, and slid out of the car.

"Sweet! It's a unicorn!" Mikey said, and was happy.

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That is the best thing I have ever read. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I AM NOW FORTIFIED ONCE MORE TO GO AND BATTLE THE SYNTAX DEMONS. Thank you, bb!

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good luck! come back soon!

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happy-coconut.livejournal.com

YAY!

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soundslikej.livejournal.com

....I am stupid enough about smart things that "cliticization" would make me laugh anyways!

well...also because I'm 12 on the inside.

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But it's even more applicable when thinking of boys randomly turning into female bodies, right? Hee.

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soundslikej.livejournal.com

help, I've been cliticized!

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hee, now I am picturing pete/patrick literally-joined-at-the-hip shenanigans! (it works with what cliticization is, i promise!)

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But it's sad because one of them would have to, like, start to loooooose himself!

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then it could be a comedy-slash-angstfest about pete going crazy! it turns out he was hallucinating patrick the whole time!

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my two favourite misinterpretable linguistics terms are "DP" (used in a sentence: Fall Term last year, I took a seminar entitled "DPs from the inside and the outside" (let me tell you, I spent the first six weeks of term snickering through that class like a 13-year-old boy)) and [delayed release]. Hee.

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also, Ray Jackendoff co-authored a paper that used a google search to find examples of a particular construction "in the wild", and all of the examples were actually from fanfiction (http://thesamefire.livejournal.com/33550.html), some of which was furry fanfiction.

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"DPs from the inside and the outside"

...That's beautiful.

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what readings do you have, anyway? now i am deeply curious.

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Huge portions of Givon's Syntax, mostly. Also lots of lecture notes from this term. Functionalism wooooo!

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man, i was never taught functionalism *at all*, except when i had to dig through typology stuff (...also by givon, incidentally) for a field methods course. have fun with that?

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ahahaha, dude, you know I'm at the UO, right? We have, like, one generative person here. You can practically see people trying not to spit whenever Chomsky's mentioned.

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