cozy whodunnit!

[schmerica]

So another thing about this week's Doctor Who is that it has reminded me how I totally want an old-fashioned type murder mystery AU for bandom. Oh, it could be so glorious!

Scene:
House party at Lady Ashlee's

Characters:
Gerard Way ... He portrays the distracted artist to a tee, but assuming naivete would be a mistake
Mikey Way ... Once a notorious partier, drinker, gambler and general man about town, his recent marriage seems to have changed his ways
Alicia Way ... Still occupied with the domestic joys of being a newlywed, Mrs Way seems quite accustomed to getting her own way
Pete Wentz ... A popular writer and Lady Ashlee's ersatz flame, no one's entirely sure where the rumors stop and the truth begins
Patrick Stump ... Wentz's collaborater, he's the steady, responsible one, but there's quite a ferocious temper hidden behind that friendly face
Gabe Saporta ... He's devoted his life to his dedication to pleasure -- few people see the spark of the true religious believer in his eyes
Greta Salpeter ... Young and blonde and pretty; surely she's nothing but sweet and wholesome...
Ryan Ross ... Wentz's protege, his monotonous scowl has transformed into a beaming smile over the last few months. Surely no one is that absent-minded naturally?
Spencer Smith ... Ross's best friend and de facto caretaker, he has an organized mind and a ferocious protective streak
Brendon Urie ... a rising singing star, the meteoric rise of his career is countered by the debacle of his personal life
Bert McCracken ... Following a tumultuous break-up with G. Way, McCracken's bad public reputation overshadows his true personality. Why did he accept this invitation?
Travis McCoy ... the world-famous detective, this is his first case since becoming clean and sober

AND THEN THERE'S A POWER OUTAGE AND A ~~~~~MURDER AND IT'S VERY EXCITING AND SHOCKING. THEY ARE CUT OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD BY THE STORM AND TRAVIE MUST FIND THE MURDERER .... BEFORE S/HE STRIKES AGAIN!!!!

AND THERE ARE HIJINX! AND DETECTING! AND IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME, OKAY?

Uhhhh, feel free to expand on this scenario if the mood strikes you. Surely some of you must be as dorky for this genre as I am.

Comments

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

NGHHHHH YES, THIS. I've been mainlining 1920s-1950s musty-smelling murder mysteries all year and making my library dig deep into its archives to find them for me. I love this genre so passionately. ♥♥♥

Who would you kill off?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

That's the problem with this idea -- I think it would totally have to be Pete, for maximum effectiveness, just because he would work best with regards to everyone having some kind of motive? There would totally be that scene at the beginning where they've all just arrived at the house party, and Pete greets his old friend Travie, and tells him he's worried about something/something is off/he's in danger/he knows something/whatever -- but they don't have to discuss it then, and before they get a chance, Pete is offed.

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

No, he has to die. Not that it doesn't break my heart! But logically, needs must. :/

They all go upstairs to change for dinner, and then when they come down, the men in their hard shirtfronts and the ladies in their pretty dresses (what time period are you thinking? Whovian Roaring Twenties? Because god, Bright Young Things! Or modern day?) and they all assemble waiting for him, and he doesn't show and doesn't show and doesn't show, and then the butler gets and urgent message from the underfootman and turns chalky-pale, because someone has done away with Pete.

Someone definitely tries to suborn/tempt Travis with illegal substances when he gets too close to the truth, no? He finds a bottle of fine port on his dresser, or a crumbling golden cake of sweet-sickly opium, or a tiny packet of 'snow' or something, and for a moment his mouth goes dry and his puse bands in his ears and god, he can taste it -

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I could go with anytime between the 20s-50s, really, but modern day definitely doesn't work.

PEEEEEEEEEEEEETE.

Oh, god, I am flailing so hard. Poor Travis!

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

\o/ Totally my favourite, the period murder mystery. I kind of want it to be 1920s for flapper Greta in all her gorgeousness, beaded frock and headband and glossy waves of blond hair, but other times would work, too. Have you read Dorothy Sayers?

Poor Pete. I think perhaps he is murdered in a way that almost appears to be suicide at first, because everyone knows about that shocking and highly scandalous incident in his own past - indeed, one of his own latest novels touched upon that theme, because if everyone was going to tattle about it at parties and if there were going to be thinly-veiled references in the newspaper columns all the time, still, and in all his reviews, Pete was damn well going to use that publicity for his own purposes, even though he got all hard-mouthed and deflective when it was mentioned.

Only several of the witnesses won't believe that it's suicide, because Pete had so much going on - various accounts of how his life intersects with theirs - while others are completely convinced that it is, b/c of their own secret knowledge of Pete, or because they *want* it to be suicide. Travis investigates and discovers that it's definitely murder.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I am shivering with delight.

Greta is the one Travis sets up as his assistant person, helping him detect, even though he doesn't entirely trust her and isn't telling her everything.

Just thinking about the ways in which every single person is lying to him is filling me with glee. Gerard and Alicia are both covering up SOMETHING for Mikey, Gabe lies with such perfect poise he might even believe what he's saying, there was some kind of mysterious rendezvous between Gerard and Bert, Patrick's acting really, totally bizarre since the murder, Lady Ashlee is silent and grave, Brendon has a pasted-on glee...

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, that would be awesome! Greta, Plucky (yet elegant, and sarcastic and enthusastic, and sweet) Girl Detective!

*nods* Gerard would totally panic and lie his ass off for Mikey, if he thinks Travis is asking pointed questions. Lady Ashlee says she wants what's best for the investigation, for Pete's sake, but she just wants these people out of her house, goddammit. Ryan makes long pretentious speeches about what a loss Pete is to the literary world and what a shining talent he was, and seems to have lapsed back into his pre-beamy-happiness state of silence, although he's still as absent minded as ever and can't come up with a decent alibi that will hold any sort of water.

PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME THAT GABE IS THINKING OF TAKING ORDERS. Or has!

Someone needs to be having a backstairs liason with one of the staff. *nods* I would kind of really love Jonathan Walker the undergardner or footman or something having secret assignations Spencer (or Brendon? Is Brendon interested in anybody? Where does Ryan fit in with them?)

Travis has the authority to keep everyone onsite for the duration and it just gets tenser and tenser and boils over! ...There are usually secondary murders, hmm. I don't know who else we could sacrifice.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, TOTALLY backstage liasons with the staff! I like Brendon for that, actually: it fits with the weird shame he has going on.

I could totally see Mikey-having-an-affair-with-Pete(-with-Alicia's-permission), and he and Alicia and Gerard totally got together to promise each other they wouldn't say anything, because that would be SUSPICIOUS. (That would mean we get the scene where Travis has figured out Mikey was sleeping with Pete the day of the murder, and now Alicia's a suspect, and he's questioning her like "One thing I don't understand; why would you lie and protect a man who was cheating on you?" And Alicia looks at him blankly and says "Cheating on me?" and then laughs.)

Ugh, the secondary murder totally kind of depends on who we make the actual murderer and why, doesn't it? We could definitely go for either Patrick (being all erratic and angy!) or Ryan Rossy (again, looking like an accident/suicide, except NO).

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

If we said Patrick killed Pete, Lea would shun us forever, I feel, but I am such a Ryanwife that I don't want him to be a murderer! Patrick would work, maybe. Maybe Patrick did it by accident. Maybe it was someone else? Maybe someone was trying to kill one of the other guests and Pete was slain by mischance? :/

*nods* I love that Mikey/Pete/Alicia backstory! And Travis would be all 'I don't understand', and Alicia would be all, 'oh, honey.' If Mikey was sleeping with Pete on the day of the murder, that puts a possible jealousy onus on Ashlee and Patrick and Ryan, hmmm.

Bert, meanwhile had some sort of dramatic meeting with Gerard on the day, then after that was over and when everyone went to their rooms before dinner, he shot back a bottle or so of wine and was suspiciously late to the group assembly. Was he killing Pete in that time, Travis wonders (Greta says brightly that that's too obvious, it never happens like that in the novels. The person who did it has to have a cast-iron alibi! Travis tells her that this is not a novel). Especially since Bert refuses to be questioned properly, is all 'fuck authority and the police' and stomps around being tiny and angry and glaring at Gerard. I don't know wehter Bert's a poet or an artist or whatever, but either way his writing/art was confronting and bohemian and weird.

Mmm, Brendon is totally making backstairs assigantions with Jon, then. But maybe he and Ryan have a history and Brendon has a faint lingering resentment of Pete's influence/connection with Ryan which Greta or Travis digs up?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

No, I meant Ryan or Patrick would be the second murder!

I could totally see the actual murder being Greta-as-mastermind with Gabe-doing-the-dirty-work. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

I LOVE the Bert/Gerard plot, awwwww.

Brendon totally used to be in the inner circle with Ryan and Pete and their crowd, but when he and Ryan had a falling out, Pete and Spencer and them all took Ryan's side.

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE. Ummm. I hate the thought of sacrificing Ryan (I would let Patrick die before him with nary a qualm, much as I love Patrick) but his death would really be interesting for the plot. Although Patrick's could be, too - were he and Pete just platonic? How did he get along with Ashlee? Did he approve of the Alica/Mikey & Pete set-up?

I could totally see the actual murder being Greta-as-mastermind with Gabe-doing-the-dirty-work. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Mmm, that could definitely work. What's their motive? Literary? Financial? Emotional? I love the idea of Greta with a little tiny pistol inside her bead-fringed purse for backup, and maybe a little knife strapped to her thigh. (Maybe William's involved somehow, all louche and sprawly and begloved, and the three of them are in cahoots? William was totally a literary critic whose reviews made Pete so angry that he threw furniture).

Brendon totally used to be in the inner circle with Ryan and Pete and their crowd, but when he and Ryan had a falling out, Pete and Spencer and them all took Ryan's side.
Yesssss. Yes yes yes. And the awkwardness there just blooms into life wih the interviews, and Spencer feels guilty and maybe wants to mend fences but at the same time he will always be on Team Ryan and Ryan still gets flustered and annoyed when you say Ryan's name.

[neery.livejournal.com]

I am refreshing madly to watch you two plot! I love this idea!

Even though I am also flailing with "But PETE!" I guess it would be against genre conventions to have Pete's murder turn out to faked at the end, right?

[drunktuesdays.livejournal.com]

How much do I love that you two wouldn't makE Patrick the killer for my sanity? <33333333333333333333333333333

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW HARD I WANT TO READ A FIC WHERE PETE DIES. YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSS

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW HARD I WANT TO READ A FIC WHERE PETE DIES. YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSS

\o/! I AM GUILTY YET GLEEFUL?

[olivia-circe.livejournal.com]

GENIUS. PURE GENIUS.

[carnilia.livejournal.com]

I would read this ten thousand times.

Seriously, one (or preferably both) of you should write this!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

HOW IS THERE SO MUCH IN THIS IDEA THAT IS MADE OF AWESOME. I ASK YOU.

[jocondite.livejournal.com]

...dammit, why did I let my paid account lapse? I miss being able to edit comments. His pulse beats, dammit.

[bluejbird.livejournal.com]

I HAVE NEVER WANTED SOMETHING TO EXIST AS MUCH AS I WANT THIS. OLD FASHIONED MURDER MYSTERIES ARE MY SECRET GUILTY PLEASURE AND MY GOD I NEED THIS. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh man, if I had any reason to think I could handle even the vaguest semblance of a plot, I totally would! Even if killing off Pete meant Lea disowned me completely. But that's really not within my powers for anything more than flail idea-waving. :(

BUT IT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME, RIGHT?

[bluejbird.livejournal.com]

IT WOULD BE SO TOTALLY AWESOME AND I THINK IT WOUDL BE SO AWESOME THAT LEA WOULD BE UNABLE TO DISOWN YOU IN THE FACE OF SUCH AWESOMENESS AND WHAT IF, LIKE, PETE WAS KILLED, BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT HE WASN'T REALLY AND IT WAS ALL AN ELABORATE PLOY TO FIND OUT WHO IT WAS THAT HAD BEEN SENDING HIM THREATENING TEXT MESSAGES OR SOMETHING. IT WOULD BE VERY POIROT-ISH IN THE GRAND REVEAL THEN.

IDK WHY IM ALL IN CAPS OTHER THAN MURDER MYSTERIES MAKE ME VERY EXCITED.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

THAT'S OKAY THEY MAKE ME REALLY EZCITED TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[absenteye.livejournal.com]

I NEED THIS IN MY SOUL, OH MY GOD.

This reminds me of that time I faceplanted in the mud because I was thinking about Ryan the Film Noir Detective With Many Hats. Um.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

ahahaha, literally? That's beautiful.

THE CLOTHES AND SMOKING AND DRINKING AND LAYERS OF SECRETS AND DECEIT AND EVERYBODY KNOWS EACH OTHER AND HAS A ~~HISTORY AND UGGGGGGGGGH. It would be so amazing

[absenteye.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAH YES. I was wearing my sister's jeans, too. It was amazing. /o\

UGH YES YES YES TO ALL THAT, AND THE ANGST AND HURT AND HEARTBREAK HIDDEN UNDER POLITE YET POINTED COMMENTS AND LONG LINGERING GAZES AND IN MY HEAD THERE IS DEFINITELY SOME PETE/MIKEY IN THE PAST, AND OH! THE CARS! THE CARS ARE ATTRACTIVE, PLS DON'T JUDGE? UGH, I WANT THIS SO BAD!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I WOULD TOTALLY NOT JUDGE YOU FOR LOVING THE CARS, OMG. THEY'RE WONDERFUL!

[absenteye.livejournal.com]

HAHA, USUALLY I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A VOLVO AND A FERRARI, Y'KNOW? BUT THOSE CARS ARE HOTASS.

Um. :D? (http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a334/absenteye/Manips/VintageAshlee.jpg)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

that is fucking GORGEOUS. Wooooooooooooooow.

[absenteye.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU :D :D :D *dances*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

You should post it somewhere where people who are not trolling my comments can see it too!

[torakowalski.livejournal.com]

Oh God, but I want this to exist.

(Where is Jon in all this... the charming, laid back heir to a modest fortune who no one thinks to suspect because of his ready smile and easy deflection, who suspects Pete had more of a hand than he's let on in the scandal with Lord William that saw Jon's good friend Tom leave for India never to return.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, there are totally even more awesome characters that could be! These were just the first ones I thought of awesome cliche descriptions for before the cast got too big.

[iamsupernova.livejournal.com]

YOU MADE MY DAY. SERIOUSLY, I LOVE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH. MY HEART HAS JUST EXPLODED.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

IT MAKES ME HAPPY

[highschoolhussy.livejournal.com]

Ungh, I need this. This makes me think of junior high when I read nothing but mystery novels.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I am rreading all my Christies right now!

[reflectedeve.livejournal.com]

This? Would be completely fucking amazing. <3

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I know, right?

[magdalyna.livejournal.com]

Greta & Gabe!!!!

When she first came to the city, she was unknown and Pete insulted her in some drastic way without realizing who she was. Or that he should apologize.

Gabe wants to marry her, and Greta makes him help her seek vengence!!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oooh, layers upon layers!

[magdalyna.livejournal.com]

Like 7 layer bean dip, baby.

[citiesasleep.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!! THIS MAKES ME HAPPY IN MY SOUUUUUUUL. I WANT IT TO EXIST SO HARD THAT IT HURTS. UGHH, MURDER MYSTERY. ♥

Vicky-T! This story needs a Vicky-T! But where could she fit in?

see me crowbar vicky-t in

[3wishesfreehugs.livejournal.com]

Vicky-T is Ashlee's PERSONAL MAID. She fell in love with Gabe, once, and she's bitter about it. He chose that stupid blonde child over her, and she genrally stalks around being angry and beautiful. She loves Ashlee, though, they've been friends since Vicky-T was born. Vicky-T has always said she would kill a man for Ashlee without even thinking. Then there's the fact that she knew all about Pete and Mikey, as well as Pete and Ashlee. She does not approve. Is that Wentz man blind? Can't he see what he's doing to Ashlee? Of course, Vicky kn ows everything that goes on in her house, but she isn't telling Travis. She isn't telling Travis anything. Victoria Asher keeps her secrets. Anyway, she isn't helping anyone who's helping Greta Salpeter.

Re: see me crowbar vicky-t in

[citiesasleep.livejournal.com]

That is perfect.

I want this written so bad.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Everything is better with Vicky T!

[3wishesfreehugs.livejournal.com]

I love this verse. Oh, murder mysteries, never ever change.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

They make me so happy!

[gobsmackit.livejournal.com]

There is nothing I want more in the wooooorld than this. Liiiiike, legit.