Maybe I really will write one of those stories and this is just to FAKE YOU OUT

[schmerica]

I changed my default icon from the Martha one I'd had for weeks/months and put this one back instead. Just to get me in the mood, you know. Team Angst for the win! I haven't started writing yet, but brainstorming is going very well, which is all I am going to say on the subject, because: SECRECY.

The getting in the mood is totally working, though. I am just rolling around in all the different configurations that make me ridiculously sickly happy. (During etben's meme going around, I made justbreathe80 tell me about RayK cheating on Fraser, and she DID, and it made me squeak with joy.)

--Actually, what's really funny is all the angsty stories I keep coming up with that I realize I can't write because it would be TOO OBVIOUS it was me, because I've talked about them a million times. Fraser dying slowly post-CotW! Fraser getting paralyzed by Vecchio's bullet! The one where Ray and Stella had a baby and it died as an infant! The one where Fraser meets Ray when he's still married to Stella, but Fraser doesn't realize he's married, and they have an affair until Fraser learns the truth! Twenty-seven different deathfic scenarios!

I can never remember whether my fandom reputation is as a Mean Girl Who Hurts the Boys or the Schmoopy Fluffy Happy One. Maybe I'm a little schizophrenic about it.

BACK TO LISTENING TO MY ALL-MOUNTAIN GOATS PLAYLIST.

Comments

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

You are SUCH a tease. I want to read every one of those stories! There just isn't enough well-written deathfic in this world.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel better, I want to read them all too!

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

I'm with keerawa - I want to read ALL of those and I hope you're just posting this to fake people out! I'm going to throw around some of my captain weight and insist you write the one about RayK cheating on Stella with Fraser. Oh, lord, the ANGST!

I can never remember whether my fandom reputation is as a Mean Girl Who Hurts the Boys or the Schmoopy Fluffy Happy One. Maybe I'm a little schizophrenic about it.

I associate you as schmoopy fluffy happy girl when it comes to meta and those short, beautiful pieces you've written about the guys waking up in bed together, or falling in love. But you're also the Mean Girl Who (kinda) Hurts the Boys. I still haven't quite forgiven you for that moment in the Carrieverse where Carrie considers whether or not her fathers love each other since they don't touch. (And that picture of Ray that hangs in their bedroom! Sooooo much angst about inside/outside spaces, about private intimacy vs. issues of the closet. You BROKE me, Pearl! And that was the happy kidfic story!)

Anyway. Good luck with the fic, and if you need me to pull beta duty or you want to bounce ideas around I hope you'll get in touch.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I hope you're just posting this to fake people out!

My lips are sealed!

Also, I am SO going to take you up on the beta offer when the time comes. YAY!

I am fascinated, too, by your Carrie angst, because I haven't gotten that reaction before. One of the main themes I was trying to work with in those stories was the idea of the family as a triangle of the three of them, yes, but also how it is made up of these three individual relationships, too, which are all really different. Because there's Ray&Carrie&Fraser, yeah, but there's Ray&Carrie, which Fraser can feel excluded from, and Carrie&Fraser, which is this softer tender thing he works hard at, and then there's Fraser&Ray, which -- you know, I think of it as them saving something that is *just* for the two of them, you know? Because their parents now and giving so much into the family triangle, but they need something to save for them alone.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

...I do know how to spell 'they're', I promise.

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

Also, I am SO going to take you up on the beta offer when the time comes. YAY!

\o/ I can't wait! Oh, re: the Carrie angst, I do like that notion of the triangle, and how each arm of that little family comprises these individual relationships with their own complexities. The Fraser/Ray stuff did come across in the story but I think I was reading it in a slightly negative sense, too: that as much as they tried to develop their relationship as something *just* for the two of them, divorced from the regular family life, I did get the sense that there was some...I don't want to say "shame" about their relationship, but I can't stop thinking about that picture and the way it has to hang in their bedroom because it causes that faint, uneasy embarrassment whenever anyone looks at it.

Their love is a very, very private thing in the story, and Carrie's conclusion that they weren't like other parents/couples she knew made me think that Fraser and Ray never really figured out how to fully integrate their private romantic lives with their more public, domestic life. That made me feel a little sad. I knew you were going for a statement about personal space and how it's essential for parents to mark out some territory for themselves and the sexual/romantic side of their relationship, and I really do like that (it's an important wrinkle to include) but it also had this wonderful underlying sense of melancholy. Whenever the issue of pet names comes up for the pairing I always flash on that portrait and think, no, these are very private guys. They wouldn't give that much of themselves away in public, not even around their children. And that's sad and wonderful at the same time, y'know?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*nodsnods* Like I said, this is SO fascinating to me -- seriously, I love talking about stories like this, especially when it makes me able to see something from years ago in really a whole new way now. I wonder how the sadness is affected by the Carrie POV for you -- the picture, especially, I would think is hard to separate the embarrassment there with the child's view of parents-as-parents-only, with the reluctance to see that intimacy, especially if that picture is something loving/almost sexual, you know?

Whenever the issue of pet names comes up for the pairing I always flash on that portrait and think, no, these are very private guys. They wouldn't give that much of themselves away in public, not even around their children. And that's sad and wonderful at the same time, y'know?

*grins* It's interesting, because I can see plenty of versions of these guys where pet names *do* make sense to me -- but I think you're definitely right that the Carrie stories have a Ray and Fraser where the privacy is paramount, and there's a lot of issues they're dealing with. So I can see the sadness, even if my interpretation is happier than yours.

[starfishchick]

Fraser dying slowly post-CotW! Fraser getting paralyzed by Vecchio's bullet! The one where Ray and Stella had a baby and it died as an infant! The one where Fraser meets Ray when he's still married to Stella, but Fraser doesn't realize he's married, and they have an affair until Fraser learns the truth! Twenty-seven different deathfic scenarios!

I was GOING to say that you're generally Schmoopy and Happy, but whoa, this list totally makes me re-think that!!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*looks completely innocent!*

[starfishchick]

NOT THAT I WOULDN'T READ THEM, BUT I AM JUST SAYING.

I have a half-started Fraser-paralyzed-by-Vecchio's-bullet fic as part of a 5 things, but it's very very stalled.

Fraser dying slowly post-CotW!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WHY, WHY!!!???!?