i confuse myself

[schmerica]

So when I was in Smallville fandom, shipping Clark and Lex, there was always, always the background thought of "they are doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed." Knowing this didn't keep me from reading or writing or enjoying hopeful or happy fic, but the knowledge was always there, still.

It occurs to me that I feel precisely the opposite in the case of due South fiction, with much less justification. Which is to say, basically, that I can read and love all the unhappy or badly-ending or depressing F/K in the world, but at the end, the back of my head still thinks "But really, they lived Happily Ever After."

Which, really, is all the fault of Call of the Wild. I mean, I adore them madly and think them slashy for the rest of their episodes together, but it's the finale that really cements my view of everything. And I've talked about my thoughts on CotW in rather long blithering length elsewhere, but it kind of just comes down to two things:

a) At some point, Benton Fraser has become the single most important thing in Ray Kowalski's life

and b) Benton Fraser deserves and gets his Happy Ending. Peace, family, justice, home.

So, I can read the really depressing F/K post-CotW stories, and they'll break me and kill my soul, but it doesn't stick, somehow, because for whatever reason I can't view this episode and not believe somehow they manage to live Happily Ever After. Whatever that means, I suppose -- and there's a large range of variation there, I think.

[None of this has anything to do with my weird post-Perfect-Strangers-viewing-and-talking-to-Livia desire to read Fraser/RayK kidfic. *shame*]

Comments

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

[None of this has anything to do with my weird post-Perfect-Strangers-viewing-and-talking-to-Livia desire to read Fraser/RayK kidfic. *shame*]

Yay! We can be shamed together, at least, since in addition to the death-het-kidfic, I have one of the regular kind of kidfics on some back burner somewhere.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I remember you telling me about your kidfics on discourse one night when everybody else had left.

Hee. Plagues.

*giggles helplessly*

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

So, I can read the really depressing F/K post-CotW stories, and they'll break me and kill my soul, but it doesn't stick, somehow, because for whatever reason I can't view this episode and not believe somehow they manage to live Happily Ever After. Whatever that means, I suppose -- and there's a large range of variation there, I think.

You know, I was the same way when I read SV and now in dS. There's just something about that "off into the [icy, Arctic] sunset" ending. They're like the anti-Clex.

Hmm. That could be an icon: "Fraser and RayK: The Anti-Clex!" or something.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Aw, except that sounds kind of like bashing the old fandom in favor of the new one, you know? That's no fun.

[tobyfan.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you. They are very much a happy ending pair of guys. *g*

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean!

Well, actually, I can buy the post-COTW stories where the whole Ray/Fraser thing falls apart, but I don't *want* to, and it definitely feels like AU to me. And makes me think of Ray/Ray.

But as far as I'm concerned, canon leaves Ray and Fraser finding their happily ever after.

[jenboo.livejournal.com]

to paraphrase Ray Vecchio, sometimes what you need are impossible odds and just a little speck of hope that things'll work out. *g* That's Fraser and RayK
And even though I LOVE reading and writing Ray/Ray, Fraser and RayK ultimately belong together. Because Ray Vecchio belongs with me. Ummm...I mean a female character heavily based on me. Ummmm...I mean....never mind. ::hands head in shame::

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Well, actually, I can buy the post-COTW stories where the whole Ray/Fraser thing falls apart, but I don't *want* to, and it definitely feels like AU to me.

I can totally buy it within the context of individual stories and things -- it just doesn't change my base perception, I guess? I think someone on discourse was talking the other day how they were afraid to read this one very very very good F/K-falling-apart fic, because they thought it would just make them suddenly "oh. They're doomed. So doomed. I can't see it any other way now." While when I read that story, yes, it breaks me for a while -- but then I watch or think about CotW again, and it bounces back to this view of them.

[lifeinwords.livejournal.com]

I, too, came to dS via Smallville, and though at times I miss the boys of doom, it's so fulfilling and comforting to think that in this story, the characters grow and change toward each other, toward a happy end that's more than possible, it's probable. There are only open doors, open endings, and I definitely remind myself of CotW whenever I read a story with a sad ending.

(Though I do find the 'open doors' policy works better when we ignore the character codas in CotW.)

[akite.livejournal.com]

I'm exactly the same way. I can read or even write a post-COTW story where something or everything goes horribly wrong, but I know deep in my heart that they're really together.

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

Hell, I know in my heart that they don't ever even die, exactly, just get bodily assumed into heaven. (Also Dief.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

You know, if somebody has asked me earlier if I would expect to have Fraser, Dief and RayK all compared to the Virgin Mary in my journal comments, I probably would have guessed 'no'.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

At some point, Benton Fraser has become the single most important thing in Ray Kowalski's life

I think it's at this line you're referring to that even the most anti-slash people have to admit they're putting this shit into the scripts. On. Purpose. Wake up and smell the manlove, folks. :D