A STORY FOR TRACEY BY PEARL-O, AGE 21 AND A HALF

[schmerica]

Today is the birthday of the magnificent, wonderful, completely-fucking-insane fangirl of our hearts, brooklinegirl!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACEY.

I wrote a story for you, just for your special day! Here it goes.

One day Ray and Ray were in Chicago doing boring cop stuff. Maybe they were being sexy about cars, or bickering, or you know, something like that. Whatever. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there is a refreshing breeze centered on them!

"You know," Ray said, "if we were gonna get all weirdly meta and break the fourth wall here, that kinda felt like some weird slash fic chick blowing on us."

"Shut up, Kowalski," said the other Ray, "and come here and suck my cock."

So Ray did, and then he fucked the other Ray, and it was very hot and stuff.

(Meanwhile, up in arctic Canada, Fraser was ALL ALONE BY HIMSELF with nobody but Dief for company because both his best friends had ABANDONED HIM for each other and it is VERY SAD. Except we don't acknowledge that part. Look, the Rays are still fucking!)

THE END.

Happy birthday, darling!!!!!!

Comments

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

*DYING*

omg. dude. you wrote ray/ray! sort of! just like I would! this is the best thing ever and I am sure it made your head hurt even like this and I love you SO MUCH for leaving Fraser all alone up in Canada! you rock my happy little WORLD.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

omg, did you notice the SHOUT OUT to you? Because, see, I was BLOWING on them? And then they had sex? DID YOU GET IT?

*beams*

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

oh honey, yes, I got that! and I love you for it more than words can possibly say!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

That is an awesome ficlet. Poor Fraser, but yay for BLG for getting Ray/Ray. You're a good friend.

"Shut up, Kowalski," said the other Ray, "and come here and suck my cock."
Imaginative and yet in character. ;-)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks!

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

oh! ♥

you are a doorbell!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

no, YOU'RE adoorbell!

[pipsqueaky.livejournal.com]

omg BEST STORY EVAR. <3

(except Fraser is all by himself, noooo! my poor woobie Mountie! he is cold and alone and now I am all depressed and-- oooh, hey! Ray/Ray! Shiny!)

*gets distracted by pr0n and wanders off*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I like how on rereading it it's completely obvious I'm all "yeah, whatever" for the Ray/Ray bit and then "OMG FRASER!!!!" at the end. I made an effort, though!

[china_shop]

I thought that was deliberate! :)

*LOVESx1000000*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeee. Well, I knew it was happening when I was writing it, just not quite so much!

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

You mock, but the fact is you are now forever tainted by Ray/Ray, so you may as well just lie back and enjoy it, girl.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Dude! Last year I wrote her a REAL Ray/Ray story. With like characterization and seriousness and everything! I'm untaintable now.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

heh.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

When you came to the part about lonely Fraser with nobody but Dief, I expected something else to follow ...

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

First of all, that's DIRTY, and second of all, that would have ruined the ANGST FILLED SORROW of the ending!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

... Dief could have loved him and left him?

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

that would have ruined the ANGST FILLED SORROW of the ending!

yes, but couldnt you have then given him influenza or something and wiped out the ENTIRE VILLAGE? THAT would be fun!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Heeeeee. Dude, that wouldn't be a TRACEY birthday story -- that would be a ME birthday story!

[aerye.livejournal.com]

::wins::

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

Until finally one day Fraser could not BREATHE for the SADNESS and rigged up the dogsled wolfsled and went to Chicago to the house of his BEST FRIENDS who had ABANDONED him. And Ray said "hey, Benny, long time no see," and Ray said "dude, you were sucking my--hey, Frase, long time no see," and then Ray and Ray looked at each other and said, "hey, Benny/Frase, wanna fuck" and then Fraser said, "Actually, I don't mind if I do," and Dief barked and was happy and THENTHEYHADSEX (except for Dief because ewwww!) AND LIVEDHAPPILYEVERAFTERTHEEND.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

...Aerye. You just came in and DEANGSTED my fic. Tell me the truth: have you been taken over by a pod person?

[aerye.livejournal.com]

Oh, noes! I'm broken!!

[china_shop]

\o/ ♥ \o/ ♥ \o/

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*points to icon*

HE IS LONELY AND PINING IN CANADA AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

*completely fails to keep a straight face*

*collapses giggling*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

AWWW FRASER. *snuggles him a lot* I'm sorry! Never again! It's just, you know, it's her birthday! And she's really persuasive! Um.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

And then pearl_o went to Canada and blew on Fraser so he wouldn't feel left out.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Dirty!

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

You are so cute, it sometimes hurts me a little.

*informs*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*beams* You used your due south icon JUST FOR ME.

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

Darling, I only HAVE the Due South icon JUST FOR YOU.

*adores*

[starfishchick]

Meanwhile, up in arctic Canada, Fraser was ALL ALONE BY HIMSELF with nobody but Dief for company because both his best friends had ABANDONED HIM for each other and it is VERY SAD.

It IS sad!! Poor Fraser!! And poor Dief, too.