prison for jerks

hobbledehoy just called me on the phone, and I promised them I would go and do the rest of my homework before I go to sleep. And I would never break a promise to Puck, because they are PUCK. Yis.

So, writing quickly before the song I'm listening to on iTunes ends. OKAY. I turn 22 on December 13th. I am putting this out there in case one of you decides "hey, it'd be nice to do something for pearl's birthday!" This is not me expecting anything, but ... if do you want to know what I'd like, ( behind the cut-tag )

Today is the birthday of the magnificent, wonderful, completely-fucking-insane fangirl of our hearts, brooklinegirl!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACEY.

I wrote a story for you, just for your special day! Here it goes.

One day Ray and Ray were in Chicago doing boring cop stuff. Maybe they were being sexy about cars, or bickering, or you know, something like that. Whatever. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there is a refreshing breeze centered on them!

"You know," Ray said, "if we were gonna get all weirdly meta and break the fourth wall here, that kinda felt like some weird slash fic chick blowing on us."

"Shut up, Kowalski," said the other Ray, "and come here and suck my cock."

So Ray did, and then he fucked the other Ray, and it was very hot and stuff.

(Meanwhile, up in arctic Canada, Fraser was ALL ALONE BY HIMSELF with nobody but Dief for company because both his best friends had ABANDONED HIM for each other and it is VERY SAD. Except we don't acknowledge that part. Look, the Rays are still fucking!)

THE END.

Happy birthday, darling!!!!!!

The subject line is a big huge lie. LIE! The truth value is NIL.

In reality, I turned twenty-one lying on the couch in my parents' living room, watching Buster Bluth get his hand bitten off by a seal. I am sure you can see how that is PRACTICALLY the same thing, though!

In conclusion, BIRTHDAY.

*cough*

(Random note: I am loving pandora.com, but why are all the good songs unable to be bought on iTunes? It played me a cover of "Blitzkrieg Bop" the other day by a band called the Beautiful South and it was the best thing I have ever heard. *covets*)

Here is my list of every single book I read as a 20-year-old:

( Books read, 12/13/2004-12/12/2005 )

This includes every single book I completed this year. This includes graphic novels, but not individual comic books, magazines, or anything like that. Short story collections only counted if I read every story.

Number of books read: 131
Number of books read for the first time: 122

The shortest book is Project Princess by Meg Cabot, which was under 70 pages; the longest was probably Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, which was 800 pages.

Incredible authors I found for the first time included Elinor Lipman, Laura Kinsale and Sarah Caudwell (the last of whom I've now devoured the entire catalog of). I finished the rest of the Jennifer Crusies I hadn't managed in fall 2004, and moved on into historical romance for the first time. I also devoured everything of Meg Cabot's, and continued with more girly YA lit with the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books, Guitar Girl, and Libba Bray's stuff. Plus, tons more Amelia Peabody.

10 other books from the above list that I enjoyed a lot and haven't mentioned yet in the summary: The Invention of Love, Tom Stoppard; As Meat Loves Salt, Maria McCann; Sunshine, Robin McKinley; We So Seldom Look on Love, Barbara Gowdy; A Hat Full of Sky, Terry Pratchett; The Egyptologist, Arthur Phillips; Ship Fever Andrea Barrett; The Moon and the Sun Vonda McIntyre; Hammered, Elizabeth Bear; The Lions of Al-Rassan, Guy Gavriel Kay.