not a day goes by without discussion of pete wentz's sexual quirks

[schmerica]

YOU GUYS. Just now, talking with annavtree, I came to a very important conclusion regarding Pete Wentz. Like, important enough that I am shocked I have never realized it before. Because the thing is? Pete's pedo thing and Pete's furry thing make PERFECT SENSE TOGETHER. Of COURSE they go in tandem!

I mean, dude. What's the best way to get yourself freaky kinky playmates? MOLD THEM AND SHAPE THEM IN THEIR FORMATIVE ADOLESCENT SEXUALITY YEARS.

Like. I'm sure it's not a conscious decision. But that would not stop it from being INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE.

This realization originally came from discussing whether or not Mikey and Alicia have had sex in furry costumes, which -- Anna leans toward Pete asking them to, but I don't think they would ever do it on their own devices, for the reason that once you stop having sex with Pete Wentz, I would think you would be pretty full up for that kink forever more.

But, see, Pete got to Mikey and Alicia both too late. When you start to think "Man, how does Patrick deal with it?" you have to realize that, um. Pete DID get to Patrick early! Patrick thinks its totally normal! Rosy first-other-person-induced-orgasm memories!

Of course, the final moral of this story is: everyone should feel really, really sorry for all future significant others of any of Pete's exes. Except the ones who find each other, because that's awesome.

Comments

[queenofhell.livejournal.com]

It's weird to think that, while Pete dresses up his "kids", so to speak (Ashlee! Patrick! Joe!) in furry costumes, Mikey and Alicia dress up their "kids" (Bunny! Piglet!) in little ears and people outfits. Like, when he asked them to dress up, they were probably like, "Um, I don't know...but that would be a cute idea for animals! Like, dressing a cat up as a bunny, it would be hilarious!" And Pete's all, "It's not supposed to be hilarious, it's supposed to be sexy."

It really is funny that, while Patrick seems so comparatively normal to us, he must be so acclimatized to weird shit that he's really just as strange as the rest of them. Oh, Patrick.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

And Pete's all, "It's not supposed to be hilarious, it's supposed to be sexy."

Hee, that's GREAT. They could be like "yeah, we owe it all to Pete!" when people talk about it, and Pete would be like "*grrrrrr*". Poor dude. He just wants some bizarre kinky sex! Is that so much to ask!

It really is funny that, while Patrick seems so comparatively normal to us, he must be so acclimatized to weird shit that he's really just as strange as the rest of them. Oh, Patrick.

God, I know, right? I guess with him it's just ... hidden better?

[somewhatdeluded.livejournal.com]

Is it weird that I really, really want Patrick to be the original furry? Like, the origin of the furry thing? Like it started out as Patrick's kink and became this huge label-wide inside joke, and now Patrick can't get anyone to actually take him seriously when he brings it up in the context of sex. Like, his latest girlfriend just laughs it off. It's honestly worse than if she were horrified.

Patrick really feels like beating Pete up, for some reason.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, that would be AWESOME. Man, Pete is the last person ever you want to know anything embarrassing and personal about yourself, isn't he? PATRICK TOLD HIM THAT IN CONFIDENCE WHEN HE WAS SIXTEEN, OKAY, HE DIDN'T KNOW PETE WAS GOING TO DO THIS WITH IT.

[somewhatdeluded.livejournal.com]

Like, clearly the only solution is for Pete dress up as a bunny and then put out. I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR. *g*

Either that or for Gabe--who, tbh, is a little *too* into the inside joke, if you ask...anyone--to comfort Patrick in his time of need. For fuzzy bunnies.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

It kind of makes me want the story behind Patrick agreeing to do the Mr DJ video, actually!

[warmingweather.livejournal.com]

Heeee. Maybe Alicia and Mikey bonded over how little they actually liked Pete's furry kink.

Alicia's like, "I mean, HE really likes it-"

And Mikey's like, "Yeah, and it makes him so happy, but-"

And then they both grin at each other when as they realize that both of them like threesomes tying each other up 69-ing things other than being furries.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

UGH, this is so darling I want to die. Except not, because if I died I couldn't read more about it. ♥