help me!

[schmerica]

YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. I am in that scary scary fandom place where your mind tries to make every single thing in the entire world applicable into a story. Nine out of ten times, this is okay, because it is very entertaining! I enjoy being an obsesso-crazy-brain! BUT THE OTHER TEN PERCENT OF THE TIME IT CAN BE VERY TRAUMATIC, OKAY.

Witness the example of me just going to look up the difference between human and koala fingerprints, because it led me to the koala article on wikipedia, which includes this sentence:

Furthermore, the male koala, like many marsupials, has a bifurcated penis and the female has a bifurcated vagina.

I don't want to talk about it.

foxxcub has a comment fic AU meme going on here. AUs, you are my FAVORITE. I need to write something for this at some point, but, uh, all my AU brain is busy thinking about the Pete/Mikey high school make-outs shoemaster and I commented earlier, so it might be a while.

Comments

[lovelypoet.livejournal.com]

Um. Regarding that thing you don't want to talk about....

Would it make it better or worse if I told you that someone already did it in another and it was just as emotionally traumatizing as you'd expect and is best forgotten and not repeated?

And no, I don't remember which fandom or have a link because I've spent approximately four years trying to forget about it.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Not really! I mean, dude, I spent a long time in Smallville fandom, you know? I have seen all sorts of fucked-up alien sex genitalia. The disturbing part is the thoughts COMING TO ME.

[stele3.insanejournal.com (from livejournal.com)]

Oh, God. I work in a post-production studio and one of the editors was just working on a project in which this socially-retarded person blurts out at a party, "Kangaroos have two vaginas!"

D:

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahaha. Now I kind of want a challenge to see how many different ways people could fit that sentence into different stories. Frank trying to gross people out! Brendon grossing himself out! Gerald thinking it's legitimately awesome (like squids)!

[marginaliana]

Perhaps even more disturbingly, I read this comment and my first thought was not "wow, that is a weeeeird thing to say" but rather "kangaroos actually have three vaginas." (true!) *facepalm*

[anashi.livejournal.com]

Why would you need that many? That's like too many vaginas. Do kangaroos just have really bad aim?

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

Furthermore, the male koala, like many marsupials, has a bifurcated penis and the female has a bifurcated vagina.

I WOULD REALLY REALLY LIKE MY IGNORANCE BACK, PLS.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

You know, I opened gmail and saw there was a comment from you, and my first thought was "Of COURSE tracey had comment! I talked about vaginas!"

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

*beams* I am nothing if not predictable!

(do koala fingerprints have something to do with bandslash?)

(am I going to be sorry I asked?)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Koala fingerprints have nothing whatsoever to do with bandslash! I was looking them up because of a random conversation I was having with the sister!

Just, uh. Apparently right now everything has to do with bandslash. I'm sick, Tracey.

(There are lots of pictures of boys in bands holding cute koalas, though! But that's pretty tangential.)

[marginaliana]

Ahahahaha fandom will do this shit to you! :D :D :D

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

SERIOUSLY.

[miriam-heddy.livejournal.com]

Finally, proof that Spock was a Koala!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Wow. Such weird images.

[roguewords.livejournal.com]

PLZ BE TALKING ABOUT BANDSLASH NOW KTHANKS!!!!

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Dude, that's all I EVER do!

[roguewords.livejournal.com]

Yes, but this WAS NOT IT!

[anashi.livejournal.com]

Talk about weird associations this is making me remember that picture of Ryan Ross holding a koala and the koala is having none of it and doesn't look like it knows where to put it's little hands, because Ryan is not made for cuddling and Ryan's face is like absolutely frozen in this horrible parody of a smile.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

*giggles a lot*