prison for jerks

Hi, darlings! It is that time again where I make a list of all the stories in the world I desperately, desperately want, but don't exist, simply because the universe wants to thwart me. Well, also because I am too lazy to write them myself, but mostly the other thing.

( Stories that should exist! (7 bandom, 2 Canada 6 degrees )

In other news, impertinence has once again written the fic of my SOUL. It's called Nicer than a Cylon, and it's the RAYBOT fic, and it is darling and you should read it and squeal, the end.

For some reason I had never read this question and answer with Mikeyway from last year before. I know I say this a lot, but he is my FAVORITE. He's fucking hilarious, too.

(Plus it has this--

Ever have a regrettable summer hookup?
Regret is a sign of weakness. Oh, and girls have cooties.

Ahahahaha, my Pete/Mikey tinhat is so retarded, you guys.)

+ MOAR BRIAN/GERARD. (Have you watched LOTMS recently? He loves him SO MUCH, you guys. SO MUCH.)

+ MOAR CAB FIC. (They are made of puppy tails, I swear.)

+ MOAR MCR GSF. (This needs no justification.)

+ "We Don't Have to Go to the Pool For Me to Make You Wet" would be a pretty hilarious title for a Pete Wentz story. I'm just saying.

+ I don't know what it says about me that this clip reminds me of my family so much it makes me a little homesick.



+ Someone needs to take this game away from me. Seriously. Please.

+ Also, make me stop buying books when I don't have enough time to read the ones I already have, jeez.

+ THE FACT THAT I DO NOT HAVE BRING IT ON ON DVD IS A SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS. A SAD STATE INDEED.

Edited to add: I have eighteen different versions of "Long Black Veil" on my computer. I'm kind of impressed by that, honestly. Also, this led to me thinking that every artist in the world should do a version of it? Which, uh, made me think of FOB. Which is hilarious and ridiculous, mostly, with a little bit of "Patrick would actually do a real good job, though!"

I have reached that stage of sickness where the floor next to my bed is covered with scrunched up snotty tissues. I'M HOT STUFF, ALL RIGHT.

Bandom recasts on my friends list are making me happy. beingothrwrldly is doing Homestar Runner in her comments, which yay. And quettaser's post on Arrested Development is a couple days old now, but it still makes me shake with laughter every single time I think about it. Pete/Patrick twincest! Brendon is Annyong! Joe Troh as Buster to GERARD WAY'S LUCILLE BLUTH.

GERARD: You’ve ruined us.
BRIAN: I’ve ruined us? You got a lot of nerve, honey. The millions you pissed away on clothing and jewelry and the spa treatments...
GERARD: Yes, to keep you interested in the only thing you ever appreciated—my body.
BRIAN: Can I help it if you got a fantastic body?
GERARD: And you’re as powerful as a bear. My husband, the bear.
BRIAN: Spare me some honey, wife.
GERARD: Oh, I’ve missed you.

Can you really say your life was complete without that? I doubt it.

I was actually really pleasantly surprised by how many people were willing to read Gerard/Ray, considering it's not a big pairing. You cannot resist the OTP OF NO IRONY WHATSOEVER IN THEIR SOULS, YAY. Of course, now that I have posted that fic, I want nothing else but for people to write me tons of horribly schmoopy domestic sequels to it. This is why I need minions, clearly!

You guys, you know what would bring more joy into my life?

Ray/Gerard/Schechter.

...That's all I have to say, really. I have no context, details or explanation. I just have naked soul yearning and utter dumbfoundedness. I can't even form coherent words to explain to you why this would complete my fannish experience (let alone write it, ahahahaha). You'll just have to trust me on it, okay?

Okay.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

If you read the Waycest post yesterday but not all the comments, you might be interested in this thread, this one, or this one, where there's a little bit more.

We have a severe snow advisory warning for today in the Portland metro area. They warned about snow from 6am to 6pm! There would be 3 - 6 inches actually sticking on the ground. It's almost 1pm now, and the amount of snow that has fallen here, let alone stuck, is basically nil.

Anyway. The main point of this entry is: can we discuss Brian Schechter? Please? Where is all the fic, you guys. WHERE IS IT MAMA NEEDS IT.

I mean.

There was a long conversation earlier in the week about how amazing a story with girl!Schechter would be, because ... wow. I mean, yes, first of all, the tiny tattooed completely fucking badass chick would be hella hot, but even more, all the gender and sex and feminist issues that story could explore!

And then impertinence was just talking about Brian/Gerard in her last entry, and I got LotMS for Christmas, you guys, so I just rewatched that, and. BRIAN. He loves the entire fucking band so much, you guys! And he and Gerard just -- !!!! There's so much there, you know? Love and faith and addiction and stupid guys and just. They saved each other's lives.

(Man, the way he remembers the first time he saw MCR and the day he became their manager -- Brian would remember every anniversary ever, y/n? Date of the first time he and Gerard made out. Date of the incredibly drunken blowjob Gerard gave him. Date of the first time they kissed when both of them were sober.)

The point is: Schechter. Is hot. And awesome. And loves his band. And there should be more fic.

THE END.

(Hm, maybe I need a Gerard+Brian icon. THINK ABOUT THIS.)