prison for jerks

Things that suck: I am so stressed out I want to scream about school stuff, I still don't have my loan money, I have a ton of cleaning I have to do before I leave Wednesday morning, and I seem to be getting sick. GRAR.

Things that do not suck: I finished the rough draft for my vecchiofest story, and I am currently awaiting justbreathe80 to tear it apart for me. Yays writing for the first time in foreever! I am in love with etben's nummy nummy brain, because brainstorm-y comment tigs about imaginary fandom are the best thing ever. Wednesday I get to go home for five days of holiday, yay! And I finally downloaded the last two episodes of Deadwood (ever, *sniff*) and they are waiting for me to watch later. Oh, and the Twitch City dvds apparently really exist, who knew?

Things that are just weird: Last night I emailed brooklinegirl and justbreathe80 to tell them that while innocently minding my own business and listening to iTunes, I realized a song I was listening to was totally a Ray/Ray song. The subject line of this email was "tracey, i hate you right now."

One thing I cooked today: Lamb stew, as advised by several of you in yesterday's post. Stew is really the most improvisational food in the world, isn't it? Besides like sandwiches. Mine turned out to be of the "emptying kitchen cupboard" variety: lamb, onion, lots of spices, chicken stock, lentils, carrot, potato, tomato paste. The lentils gave it an interesting texture -- it's very thick and mushy, rather than being at all liquid -- but I like it this way.

One things I accomplished today: Greek midterm = YAY. At least a B, hopefully higher.

One thing I am weird about: I know I've been mentioned this before, but whatever. I still don't get why people have RayK call Fraser by his first name in slash stories! I mean... he doesn't call him that. Ever. Just like Fraser doesn't call RayK "Stan" or "Stanley" and Vecchio is the only one who calls Fraser Benny.

I guess it's just a basic difference of opinion at the really basic level: I don't think in that situation that Ray calling him Ben creates a more intimate relationship. I just don't. It feels false and sentimental to me the vast majority of the time. I guess because I think their friendship is plenty intimate already, in canon? And Ray does not call him that even once, even in the most fraught or emotional situations, which ... leads me to believe that Ray thinks of him as Fraser. And what I like best about slash, most of the time, is the relationship coming out and being an extension of the friendship they already have, rather than something completely seperate, as if that never existed.

(Stories I can remember where I believed the first name thing: resonant8's American Way and cesperanza's Passion. There were probably plenty where I didn't notice, too, but mostly? Weird quirk of mine.)

One thing that I am oddly ashamed of: You know, at this point I feel it is sort of ridiculous for me to be ashamed any of my kinks -- AND YET IT IS SO.

I mean, I can own my fondness for hetcest and underageness, and I can be fascinated by non-consensual scenarios, and god knows there are 80 million non-sexual buttons that get pressed all the time. And you would think I have been in fandom long enough -- and had enough completely TMI and smutty conversations -- that I would be without shame! Human sexuality is healthy! Fantasies are fantasies! My kink is OK, your kink is okay!

And yet there is this one thing that kind of disturbs me and yet gets me off so much, even in the most ridiculously worst written fics. WTF, brain. WTF.

(No, you sickos, it has nothing to do with piss, scat or children. It's not even that twisted; I'm just, obviously, inexplicably shy about it.)

One thing about my imaginary fandom: ( Motherhood, 400 words or so )

Ooh, you know what else I can do during my boring candyless Halloween? Mess around aimlessly in Photoshop and think about my imaginary fandom.

*beams at you all*

(Man, it makes me wish I had skills, because can you imagine someone with artistic talent doing something with those people and that scenario? MAN.)

Hmm. I think now it is time to go watch my s2 Grey's Anatomy dvds.

Subliminal message: go and sign up to write Canada RPS on the CW-only days on rps_advent so we can have fic all month long! You totally can do it!

thefourthvine's post the other day about her imaginary fandoms is making me think again about my imaginary fandom. TFV had too much shame to talk about hers, but I have no such qualms.

See, in my head lives the imaginary miniseries of ridiculous kink fulfillment, which stars Paul Gross and Molly Parker as super rich partying Jazz Age twins and CKR as a poorer writer-or-artist that they sort of adopt as their pet, which starts out with just hanging out with them, staying at their house, going to party, and ends up getting more and more involved in their really twisted fucked-up personal relationship till he can't get out.

(Checklist: hot Canadians; incest; threesomes; fucked-up relationships; artists and their inspirations; decadence; 1920s historicalness and style... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP WINNER.)

Today I spent like three hours translating a couple of lines of Matthew from Old Church Slavonic into English. I bet you wish your life was this exciting.

It is three hours until Heroes airs on the West Coast. It is only Mondays and Thursday that I truly miss having a television! *sniffle*

All the icons I wanted to use with this post are currently inactive. Bah!