breathplay + pancakes = GOOD TIMES.

[schmerica]

Another post on my friends list had me looking up average height charts for American men earlier, and I was like, wow, Frank and Patrick and Brian Schechter are even shorter than I previously realized! Because looking at the bell curve, they are waaaaaaay out in the tiny part in the left, for serious. Like, 90-95% of dudes being taller than them, left. So that was interesting!

And then I just spent a fair amount of time trying to turn all my bandom fics into summaries worthy of mcrficfinder. For some reason -- possibly the fact that they're all really short and have kind of stupid plots -- it was really easy.

(I won't lie, part of me is totally bummed that I used up the "breathplay and pancakes" fic on due South. That's really not something you get to do twice, you know?)

"pete and mikey are secretly married and mikey wants a divorce so he can marry alicia? and pete is really sad."

"it's an au and mikey is like a teenager and pete is old? and they have sex in a field. and i think pete asks him to prom."

"it was a brendon het fic with some actress. all i remember is brendon yelling to himself about liking pussy in the bathroom."

"gerard wrote angsty poetry and lyn-z was his vampire queen? or smthg like that."

"gerard was really drunk and fucked-up and brian had a lot of sex with him. and bob, like, watched gerard give brian a blowjob and it was really hot but kind of fucked-up."

"pete breaks up with his girlfriend and then joe has sex with him to make him feel better. i think there was something about pete fondling joe's beard."

That was a) way more fun than it should be and b) probably not entertaining to anyone else. Whatever! Come and tell me about your stupid fic summaries, too.

Comments

[gobsmackit.livejournal.com]

Totally entertaining, at least to me.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I think "beard-fondling" should be its own genre, really. OH JOE TROH.

[stereomer.livejournal.com]

gerard wrote angsty poetry and lyn-z was his vampire queen?

loling for real. ISSOPERFECT.

okay, here are mine:

1. gerard is a mutant and gets taken away to become a science experiment? bob is invisible!
2. frank is like, a cop and he goes undercover and falls in love with gerard, but he's a mobster? they have angry sex in the car and then pete kills frank. (I LIKE THIS ONE.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I actually don't know how to make that fic NOT sound like badfic, to be honest.

YOURS ARE ALSO EXCELLENT.

[nova-bright.livejournal.com]

Hahahha. TINY PEOPLE. And Bert McCracken is the wee-est of them all. (5ft2. Tiny!)

mcrficfinder summaries!

1. Gerard thinks he's an anchovy and then throws up? Oh, and Ray won't have sex with him.

2. Ray is a girl and Gerard won't stop describing vagina? And Mikeyway is a lesbian, or something.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, really? I knew he was short, but I didn't know he was that tiny, awesome.

Gerard won't stop describing vagina

That is truly beautiful.

[stele3.insanejournal.com (from livejournal.com)]

Heheheheh!

"gee gets sober and mikey goes crazy and no one has sex with anyone at all."

"frank breaks up with jamia and hooks up with gerard right away. at some point he stands on a table shouting that he likes cock."

"the one where frank is an angel that falls from heaven wit wing n shit!"

"i think alicia and lynz are, like secret agents or something. alicia is called The Maniac and likes to shoot people."

"spencer is dating brendon and then ryan's dad dies and spencer cheats on brendon with ryan."

"frank and bob are hitmen and gee is a convict and he's hooked on heroin, and frank has sex with gee, then with bob and gee both and gee drew them a xmas tree."

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

The last one is my FAVORITE. <3

[stereomer.livejournal.com]

ahahaha i did one for your wingfic! umm frank is an angel? all i remember is that mikey has to teach him how to use the bathroom, lol.

[modillian.livejournal.com]

No, very entertaining! I will never stop loving Lyn-Z the Vampire Queen. *.*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

NOR WILL GERARD.

[octette]

hahahah it was TOTALLY entertaining for meeeeeee.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

That is all that matters! <3

[wildestranger.livejournal.com]

(I won't lie, part of me is totally bummed that I used up the "breathplay and pancakes" fic on due South. That's really not something you get to do twice, you know?)

Why not? *nudges you in an encouraging way* ;)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

ahahaha. Perhaps breathplay and a different type of baked goods someday!

[prettykitty-aya.livejournal.com]

you are possibly my favorite today. yep.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

\o/

[angelchildr.livejournal.com]

Okay. These were far too amusing for me...

"frank goes deaf and gets all bitchy."

"mikey goes blind and that's why he took that break for his "honeymoon"."

"Um. I think it's a crossover? It's right when Bob has the gangrene and stuff and there's this girl that I think might be, like, the devil or death or something..."

"Frank and Mikey kiss, but Mikey doesn't like it sometimes?"

"The smell of church incense makes Mikey a little gay."

"Totally canon story about Mikey! And drinking and stuff."

"It's in the Harry Potter 'verse, and there's tons of bandom people and My Chem are deatheaters and there's lots of dying and angst. It's totally a WIP and I can't find the next part."

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

AWESOME.

[turnyourankle.livejournal.com]

hahah no way, they're totally entertaining. brendon yelling to himself about liking pussy in the bathroom. = PURE GOLD.

- frank is a girl and angsts a lot. bob like, sucks at cutting hair but cuts hers. frank breaks a lot of glass.
- pete like, crawls around looking for the milk in some store? ryan's there, i think.
- gerard kidnaps some artist and his boyfriend comes looking for him? the kidnapped guy and his bf, like, make up in the bus's bathroom.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I am particularly fond of the Brendon one because of the structual ambiguity of the sentence! It gives it the extra je ne sais quoi, I feel.

[sharpest_rose.livejournal.com]

My badfic summary! Woo!

it was vampire fic and gerard was like pete and patricks kid (they were married) and frank kept biting him. alicia was a vampire slayer and she was mikeys girlfriend. gerard died in franks arms and panic at the disco were there too i think?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Beeeeeeeeeeyoooooootiful!

[bexone.livejournal.com]

See, now you need to try posting these with sockpuppets and see if the community at large gets them right. Social experiments ftw!

"patrick was, like, a cop and he was telepathic and shit. and gabe was creepy."

"spencer and brendon were, like, girls, and there was spanking? but no sex, sorry!"

[greyandgrey.livejournal.com]

Is that Vicky T and Dirty in your icon?

Is it wrong that now that I've seen that I have a sudden urge to read that pairing?

[greyandgrey.livejournal.com]

That's really not something you get to do twice, you know?

I DISAGREE! You can never have too much Breath Play + Pancakes = good times

Also, I like how as silly as some of those sound, none of them even approach the fucked-up-ness that is regularly on display over at mcrficfinder

"And then they raped Frank - but in a friendly way!"

(the best part of that post was the comments (http://community.livejournal.com/mcrficfinder/486136.html?thread=1949432#t1949432), where some people questioned the friendly rape premise and someone jumps in with the great defense: "rape" is the wrong term for what she's trying to explain. More they pin him down and kiss him and give him a handjob (I think), and although he's reluctant at first, he totally gets into it in the end.

...um, that still kinda sounds like rape to me. Oh fandom, you and your noncon.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Yeah, basically, if it doesn't have rape, pedophilia or death in it, it's not really going to come up to snuff.

[sinsense.livejournal.com]

Um, ahaha.

1) Bob is new to the band. Frank asks Bob to have sex with him and Jamia, and then they do. I remember these really weird section breaks? Like, definitions but not?

2) Does anyone know that Frank/Gerard story where everyone's living in the trees and growing branches out of their back? Or in the circus? Or dead?

3) F/J pegging?

This is highly entertaining to me, both reading other people's and writing my own. Mission for myself: write stories to fit mcrficfinders summaries.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I am not sure whether I should encourage or discourage this mission of yours! Oh, well. It'll be AWESOME.

[wilde_stallyn.livejournal.com]

(Hi! I friended you the other day because you seem awesome.)

Er, these are all still in my In Progress folder because I suck at finishing anything (or coming up with ideas that can be less than 12000 words):

"ummm, andy takes spencer to an S&M party? he likes to beat him with, like, drumsticks and stuff? but i don't think they have sex. and brendon is sad because rryan loves pete and not him, even though theyre having a threesome? but, like, eventually brendon and spencer realize they're perfect for each other because because bren wants spence to beat him? oh, and ryan's kinda a bitch."

"ryan accidently has sex with spencers dog. then he does alot of research on the internet and has sex with spence's dog on purpose? at some point ryan and spencer realize theyre in luv."

"patrick stalks andy on the internet then follows him to a bar. i think there were alot of fat gay guys in leather pants (ew) and that made patrick happy? so andy took him home and beat him. oh and i think zack was there somehow."

"patrick picks girls for andy to fuck so, like, he can taste them on him after or smthng. theres lots of het which is gross but kinda hot neway."

"dirty is gross. but kinda sweet? so patrick luvs him. patrick punches pete in the face. maybe twice?"

...Wow. I come off as kind of crazy when it's written out like that. I swear I'm not as scary as the above would imply. Um, mostly.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

ahahahaha. Really, I think it might be the bestiality one that puts you over the edge!

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

FACT: LIKE 40% OF MY BADFIC SUMMARIES WOULD INCLUDE "AND THEN PETE DECLARES HIS LOVE FOR ____ BY WRITING ON HIM IN SHARPIE"

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

... actually, looking at my fic, THIS MAY NOT BE TRUE. I apparently think I do that more often than I do! HOW ODD.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

Your post and the comments are LULZ inducing. :D

This is a Bob-Approved post. (See icon.)

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Huzzah for Bob approval! \o/

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

What would make this post/meme even better would be linking the stories to the summaries. *g*