me: Gerard Way makes bad life decisions! bex: news at ten

[schmerica]

pearl_o: The way we know absolutely nothing about his six-years girlfriend except her name really does weird me out, though.
pearl_o: because, yes, keeping your private life private but that's still ... weird.

bexless: she was BUSY okay

pearl_o: heeeee.

bexless: it's a LOT OF WORK being a SUPERMODEL in CANADA

pearl_o: I still find the "okay now everybody get out of town my girlfriend is coming" thing in the eliza cuts story to be hilarious.
pearl_o: HURRY EVERYBODY MUST VACATE.

bexless: LOLOLOLOL
bexless: VACATE THE AREA. VACATE THE AREA. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND INCOMING

pearl_o: so if theory one is Busy Canadian Supermodel
pearl_o: i think theory 2 is She is Poisonous and/or Turns People Into Stone.

bexless: he does like medusa!

pearl_o: theory 3: she is a vampire.
pearl_o: and thus does not show up on film.
pearl_o: theory 4: she's trans.

bexless: LOLOLOLOL
bexless: *LAUGHING FOREVER*

pearl_o: ...I'm trying to come up with theory 5, but I am coming up short.

bexless: she's actually gerard's female self?
bexless: that he turns into sometimes?

pearl_o: hmmm.
pearl_o: Does that imply that during the Black Parade Gerard broke up with his feminine side?

bexless: not if the blond hair has anything to say about it

pearl_o: *snickers*

bexless: that is the gayest hair in the world

pearl_o: see, I really can't tell if it would seem just as gay if his movements didn't automatically become 10x as flamboyant and campy when he wears it.
pearl_o: It is hard to pick apart the stitches of his gayness!

FURTHER THEORIES ARE WELCOMED IN THE COMICS.

edited to add: uh, that was supposed to welcomed in the comments? But if you want to make a comic on the subject PLEASE FEEL FREE.

Comments

[shoemaster.livejournal.com]

IN THE COMICS? RLY, PEARL?

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

SHUT UP I EDITED IT ALREADY.

[soundslikej.livejournal.com]

Now I want a comic about Canadian GirlGerard. *pokes the internets*

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I would read it eight million times.

[idonthavefleas.livejournal.com]

AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA This is the greatest thing ever. XD

Hmm... Ooh! Theory 6: She was a figment of Gerard's imagination the entire time. He wasn't TELLING people to leave when he ~girlfriend~ was coming, people were glad to leave on their own, so they wouldn't have to watch Gerard masturbate [loudly] and stop mid-fuck because THINGS JUST AREN'T THE SAME ANYMORE D:

Eh. I got nothing.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

He was really dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters the whole time!

[valerie-z.livejournal.com]

I love Gerard's pretend girlfriend who is probably either Frank or Bert. Hahahaha.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

All this Eliza Cuts drama is just making me ship Bert and Gerard even harder, I find. It was such a healthy and sane relationship in comparison! And the break-up was so much smoother!

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

she's clark kent.

duh.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

There are lots of pictures of Clark Kent, dude. What's the point of having the secret identity if nobody knows about it?

[stele3.insanejournal.com (from livejournal.com)]

DUDE. I so totally had this bunny the other day that I was sharing with dsudis, in which Gerard occasionally turns into a girl. It's been a problem hir whole life, ever since his parents took him home from the hospital and discovered that he'd turned into a girl en route. They were about to take her back and freak out about babyswapping when she changed back to a boy; being the Ways, they decided to keep hir.

So then Gee grows up switching back and forth, wearing non-gender-specific clothing and not really... dating that much. It's kind of hard to work into introductory small talk. "I have a penis, and a vagina, but only sometimes." Hir romantic life is pretty much limited to people who are already freaky enough to shrug it off without a big to-do... i.e. Bert and Eliza. Sie's still had a few awful encounters - sometimes the change is unpredictable. Sie can control it most days but that takes focus and concentration, not things that Gee had while stoned/drunk. Bad thing to have happen while in bed with someone. Plus, Gee always figured that the band would have more of a chance with a male lead singer; thus, spends most of his time in the public eye as a he, and it's just... it's hard to stay one for very long. It hurts. He tries, but it hurts.

Except then Gee gets sober and goes out on tour and meets up with LynZ, who looks like a freak but is really a sweet girl, and he's trying to stay a HE because he really LIKES her and doesn't want her to know he's some kind of freak-of-nature-gender-bender. So Gee will be offstage, hanging out as a girl when LynZ walks in the room; Gee dodges away and come back a he, with his hands shaking. Mikey sighs and Brian purses his lips. Gee doesn't meet their eyes, sidling awkwardly over to talk to LynZ.

Then of course, like, they spend the night together and Gerard kind of sleepily changes and LynZ rolls over, puts her arm around him to find hey breasts.

HET/FEMMESLASH + TRU LOV ENSUES.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THAT IS SO ADORABLE. LYN LOVES HIM FOR WHO HE IS! YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE, GERARD!

[fairestcat]

OMG WANTS!!!

*makes grabby hands*

[spvinter.livejournal.com]

O.O

I need this in my life!

[monanoche.livejournal.com]

I WOULD READ THIS SO HARDDDDD.

[iamsupernova.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD YES.

Hey, was it you who I was commentficcing awkward Gerard crushing on Lyn-Z with? Because I've been looking for that link, I liked that stuff.

[fayemeadows.livejournal.com]

Theory 7: *coughgerardwassleepingwithmikeyforawhileadntheydon'ttalkaboutitokay?cough*

Theory 8: HE WAS DATING A BOY AND DOESN'T WANT TO SAY.

:D

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I can believe theory 7, but I still don't think it explains all the data here!

Theory 8 is intriguing! So he doesn't talk about it because he doesn't want to make up lies, he just doesn't want to come out either?

[galaxyaway.livejournal.com]

for a while? More like now group orgies with Alicia and Lyn-z. obv.

[galaxyaway.livejournal.com]

IT WAS CHRISTINA RICCI.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

lol.

[myaurasmiles.livejournal.com]

I bet it was a boy who was not comfortable being potentially outed. Unlike Bert, who was very comfortable with it.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Your icon makes me ache with love. THEM.

I enjoy your theory a great deal.

[greyandgrey.livejournal.com]

Wait....

We know her name? We know it was a girlfriend?

Everything I've ever seen wherein Gerard mentions having a lovelife ever features Gerard jumping through impressive grammatical hoops to never ever ever use pronouns...

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Girlfriend named Kat. That's ... the sum total of all the knowledge we have on her ever, apparently.

[pearldrop.livejournal.com]

Gerard had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who lived in Canada. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=JZoQ0IT5ULo&feature=related) She couldn't be sweeter, he wishes you could meet her. It's a pity she's so far away, in Canada.

[minna.livejournal.com]

He doesn't want to talk about the flare gun in his lockerada. But he will tell you all about his girlfriend, in Canada.

[bexless.livejournal.com]

&us;

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

♥

[turnyourankle.livejournal.com]

no theories but! we do have like, two pictures of her. maybe you knew that already? (...and I'd include them, but I dunno how you feel about seeing pictures of a ~supah sekrit~ gf that has been on the downlow~ for so long.)