prison for jerks

I am going to be completely and utterly honest with you guys: I pretty much just wrote songfic. Schmoopy songfic, for that matter. I really have no excuse to offer you all, except that, uh, I wanted to make inlovewithnight happy. And I mean -- there's porn? That makes it better, right?

Sigh.

The lyrics to the song in question, Franz Ferdinand's "Michael", can be found here if you require them.

sticky hair sticky lips
by Pearl-o

Pete/Mikey. NC-17. ~1500 words.

Established relationship. AU of the regular lives/no bands type.

For inlovewithnight. Thanks to anoneknewmoose for support and beta.

( sticky hair sticky lips )

Hello! I was productive today and wrote the porn I've been babbling about to shoemaster and impertinence and lordessrenegade! Here it is, if you would like to read it. I have been trying and failing at describing it to people, but let's go with dead!Mikey!spirit-in-Pete's-head jerk-off porn. Okay?

This starts out like commenty/chatfic (because I am quoting from an actual email I sent Jai) but then it becomes much more storylike for the actual porn. I will probably not write more in this universe, because the stuff that would make up the actual *story* part of it doesn't interest me as much to write? So, due warning and all that.

Blah blah blah death warning blah blah blah it's porn blah blah blah IDK, do you people have telepathy squicks?

Anyway. THAT SAID, here we go:

I have been thinking about the story where Mikeyway dies and then is, like, a spirit, right? And the person he finds who can hear him and understand him is Pete who unbeknownst to himself is apparently a natural medium. And Mikey has to use Pete to go and find Gerard again!

( It goes on from there )

YOU GUYS I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD OR ANYTHING BUT THIS ONE BAND I LIKE? PLAYED A SHOW? AND APPARENTLY IT WAS AWESOME? IDK, IDK.

Bex has links to some pictures here. There are more around somewhere, but I've only seen them in a flocked journal and I'm too lazy to go to buzznet and get them myself. BUT OUR BOOOOOOOOOOOOYS! OMG YOU GUYS. They're so fucking awesome arggggh I can't stand it. Imagine how the fandom is going to react when the album comes out, or they actually go on tour.

Oh man and here is a really adorable entry about the Ways at ComicCon. There is pretty much nothing there that is not glee enducing. &Mikey; &Gerard;

Finally I would like to discuss this twitter exchange between my otp:

petewentz @mikeyway fruit brute! One song has to get written!

mikeyway @petewentz we'll have our first fruit brute practice after summer sonic/blink ends. I'll bring the zima!

Oh bandom, you bring me such joy.

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep I started thinking about a Pete/Mikey sex pollen story. OH MAN IT WOULD BE SO ANGSTY. Because it would be Summer of Like and they would be having their whole complicated involved thing together! On that weird line between friends and more than friends and everything being all heavy like it's the most important thing, and they haven't done anything more than make out, petting above the waist, and holding hands, and have long all-night talks about their hopes and dreams and crap and then falling asleep in the same bed. But then Pete gets sex pollened! And possibly Mikey doesn't realize something is actually wrong, he justs thinks Pete has finally gotten over himself and his weird cock thing. Aand they have a night of really awesome amazing sex! And then when the pollen has worn off, Pete freaks the fuck out -- not in the way where he's mad at Mikey, necessarily, but in the way where he had sex with a guy, and he realizes he wouldn't ever have actually done that if he was in his really right mind. And Mikey is like, he really cares about Pete, but that night has made him realize that he can't actually do this, have this relationship if it means no sex, no blowjobs, nothing ever. It's not enough. AND THEN EVERYBODY IS MISERABLE, YAY.

ALSO: I DO NOT HAVE THE ONSTAGE WARPED PICTURE ON MY COMPUTER AND IT IS A TRAGEDY. Help?

So I told loveyouallwrong about how I wanted Pete/Mikey selkie fic, and she freaked out and called me a furry. If you ever wondered where Lea's line are: there you go. Pete/Hemmy mpreg where Hemmy has magically turned into a human? Okay. Selkie fic? SQUICK.

The more you know, right?

Uh, for those of you who don't share Lea's aversion, here's 750 words of commentfic on the subject, because I am dumb and wrote it out to describe to someone and thus lost all need to actually make myself write it. Lame, self. Very lame.

( SELKIES ARE AWESOME SHUT UP )

Hi, darlings! It is that time again where I make a list of all the stories in the world I desperately, desperately want, but don't exist, simply because the universe wants to thwart me. Well, also because I am too lazy to write them myself, but mostly the other thing.

( Stories that should exist! (7 bandom, 2 Canada 6 degrees )

In other news, impertinence has once again written the fic of my SOUL. It's called Nicer than a Cylon, and it's the RAYBOT fic, and it is darling and you should read it and squeal, the end.

For some reason I had never read this question and answer with Mikeyway from last year before. I know I say this a lot, but he is my FAVORITE. He's fucking hilarious, too.

(Plus it has this--

Ever have a regrettable summer hookup?
Regret is a sign of weakness. Oh, and girls have cooties.

Ahahahaha, my Pete/Mikey tinhat is so retarded, you guys.)

So there was a comment the other day basically saying "The reason some OTPs are written so much more than others is because there's more stuff to play with" -- which may well be true! But then it went on to say "If the other pairing did more canon stuff, more people would write that instead!" -- which I think is definitely NOT true, because it doesn't take into account the fact that Pairing A and Pairing B can do the exact same thing, and it's only the pairing that's already your OTP that's going to make you go "EEEE MORE CANON FOR SHIPPING."

Which is to say, even if Bob and Frank suddenly started being way more gay in public, it is not going to make a Frank/Gerard person switch over. REALLY GAY AND AWESOME CANON when it's your pairing = cute boys being friends with each other when it's not your pairing. Fact of life! I just read an interview where Mikey Way mentions getting an email from Pete Wentz, and my response was OMIGOD THEY'RE SO IN LOVE EEEEEEEEEEEE. Rationality has nothing to do with it.

(And thinking about it, who I actually feel sorry for are the Frank/Mikey shippers. There will never be any sort of canon for you that will not just make people go "Awww, look how much he likes his brother-in-law! That's so sweet.")

I was actually rereading a fuckload of Pete/Mikey stories today, because someone I love was asking for recs, and it was actually kind of depressing. People talk about them a lot more than they write them! And a lot of the stories tagged on del.icio.us with "pete/mikey" are really random Summer of Like stories that happen to have the two of them making out vaguely somewhere in the background. Also, I don't know, I feel like my preferences in regard to them tend to be kind of different from bandom as a whole. Like, I don't really get the EPIC TRAGEDY OH NOOOOOOOES vibe from them at all. Where are people getting evidence that they parted at the end of the summer anything but really good friends? Pete wearing his Mikey button was fall 2005, all the pictures/buzznet entries about old friends/away messages/myspaces things defending pete's nudity/etc are from early 2006. The HeyChris thing didn't actually have anything to do with Pete at all. Mikey was still mentioning Pete in interviews after The Black Parade came out. I'm pretty sure there was a FOB interview last year where Pete got asked about the last text message he'd received, and it was Mikeyway asking what was up.

I mean, it's possible I just missed something, but, uh. It seems like it would be a pretty big thing to miss.

Also, it's not like it matters. Anything even vaguely connected with Pete/Mikey I swallow up like candy and love you forever.

Anyway. It is past six pm already. This apparently happens when you sleep in all day. Now I have to decide if it is still worth walking down to the grocery store!

Oh god, putting together my notes for the presentation I have to give this afternoon in neurolingistics is making me want to stab myself in the eye. Or maybe run off to Switzerland and become a goatherd. I don't even care, I am about to cry here. I HATE YOU, BROCA'S AREA AND WORKING MEMORY AND FMRI CRITICAL ANALYSIS. DIE IN A FIRE.

...Yeah. Not having a good day.

fluffontop's post about how Mikeyway is not a Frank/Gerard shipper is pretty awesome, though.

Also I kind of want a story about how part of the reason Mikey & Pete didn't work out is they have totally opposing views about monogamy. Because you've all read those articles where Pete talks about how he actually gets really possessive and jealous, and just -- he's a One and Only type person, you know? NO SHARING. Whereas Mikeyway is not so much "the more the merrier" as, you know. It just seems kind of silly. It's not that big a deal, really. (Which is one of the reasons he and Alicia fit so well, because they are totally commited, but still a big fan of inviting third parties into their marital bed or Alicia going on vacation and doing fetish photography with her ladyfriends.)

( UGH, PETE )

Seriously, why does that dude ever wear a shirt? It is entirely unnecessary, I feel.

And while we're on the subject of Pete Wentz being half-naked, here's a picture of (one of) his HOT BOYFRIEND(s):

( Easy's the way he likes them )

wax_jism posted the hi-res version of the one Pete/Mikey picture the other day, and of course I immediately had to make it my desktop. Even since I keep minimizing all my windows just so I can stare at it some more. Ugh, these boys. The way they're clinging so close, the crinkly smile lines around Pete's eyes, the total loving possessiveness in the way Mikey's hand rests around him. And before I saw the hi-res version, I totally had never noticed that Mikey's fingerless gloves were Clan, too. Seriously, ugh. They remain forever, if not my OTP, then my very most favorite of pairings.

Also, I just added a new interest to my profile. I'm a dork.

Awesome kisses other people wrote in my comments last night:

+ Frank/Bob by sociofemme
+ Gerard + Mikey/Alicia (GEN) by warmingweather
+ Brendon/Amanda Palmer by belladonnalin
+ Frank/Ray by impertinence
+ HeyChris/Pete by forevernew
+ Gerard/Ray by ix_tab
+ Pete/Mikey/Alicia by angelchildr
+ Frank/Gerard by blondiusmaximus
+ Brian/Gerard by sweetvalleyslut

Kisses I wrote in my comments:

+ Frank/Bob
+ Gerard kidfic gen
+ Pete/Mikey + Patrick
+ Gerard/Mikey
+ Gerard/Ray
+ Pete/Mikey/Alicia